ITT: We're losers and ask family for money

Anyone have to suck up their man hood and ask family members for a loan? How often, how much, how old were you and what was the reaction?


I need a few thousand and will have to ask mom for a loan. Ive done this twice before and she was happy to help, no questions asked, but its always humiliating having a full time job @ 27 and asking for money. I feel like a failure, even though I always pay back within 2-3 months.

Your experiences...

I don't understand. Did the PM at the family office screw up so badly that your regular investment income distributions don't cover your expenses? And he's not fired yet?

But yes, I did have to ask for a small loan right after university, before I found a job, because I had to buy a car with what little remaining cash I had on hand.

When I was 17, I purchased the family (my mother, my little sister, me) a car from my summer earnings, as the one we had when my dad died had crapped out and my mother was too lazy and useless to do more than smoke and cash my father's miniscule pension cheques.

So no.

I wouldn't believe it either but it's true.

yes, a few years ago I immigrated to the states, and basically blew my life savings on that. the job I came with didn't work out well, and I didn't make as much money as expected, and spent more than I thought I would living. then, I took a risk and quit that job to join a start up that didn't pay me, and then when bankrupt. so, at the age of 38, after being independent since I was a teenager, and having been able to give and loan both my parents and my siblings money at different points in my life, I had to ask my brother for a loan, and my father gave me a little loan without my asking. it was not the high point of my life, but I paid off all the money as soon as I could. sometimes you have to do what you have to do.

Originally Posted by globetrotter

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sometimes you have to do what you have to do.

Truth.

Originally Posted by globetrotter

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yes, a few years ago I immigrated to the states, and basically blew my life savings on that. the job I came with didn't work out well, and I didn't make as much money as expected, and spent more than I thought I would living. then, I took a risk and quit that job to join a start up that didn't pay me, and then when bankrupt. so, at the age of 38, after being independent since I was a teenager, and having been able to give and loan both my parents and my siblings money at different points in my life, I had to ask my brother for a loan, and my father gave me a little loan without my asking. it was not the high point of my life, but I paid off all the money as soon as I could. sometimes you have to do what you have to do.

And we're glad you're here, GT!

Um. Guys.
There's something I'd like to talk to you about...

In the culture I'm from (Chinese) it's perfectly normal and even encouraged for well off family members to help out the less fortunate. We don't let our children tread water during a storm, we throw them a lifeline. But we also raise them to value the clan first. I've always thought of the preoccupation of who pays who in the family an American thing. After all, the strongest clans were always those who supported and strengthened their own before anything else. What else are old money families but people who thought of their children's interests first?

No, but mine paid for my college so that more than counts IMO.

i've got a kid your age who is very responsible but very occasionally needs a small loan, which she always pays back. the fact that she so obviously hates to ask for it, makes it much easier to give. parents don't mind helping out, but they do tend to mind when it's expected.

I really don't want to ever do this but the fact is that I have more student loan debt than I had originally planned for. That, compounded with the fact that my starting salary is likely to be quite low, means I may need to borrow some cash from family members. But I'm going to make a serious effort to avoid that.

Originally Posted by Connemara

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I really don't want to ever do this but the fact is that I have more student loan debt than I had originally planned for. That, compounded with the fact that my starting salary is likely to be quite low, means I may need to borrow some cash from family members. But I'm going to make a serious effort to avoid that.

I do believe this is referred to as, "A target rich environment."

Originally Posted by Piobaire

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I do believe this is referred to as, "A target rich environment."

It comes with the territory. I will probably ask for some loans in order to get a few bespoke suits, shirts, maybe some shoes.

Originally Posted by Connemara

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It comes with the territory.

I will probably ask for some loans in order to get a few bespoke suits, shirts, maybe some shoes.

From your family, or strangers on the NetWebs?

For the most part mothers would murder anything that causes harm to one of their off springs. Asking for money from your mother is too easy. Fathers on the other hand is just ******* embarrassing.

If you must ask for money ask your mom. Stay away from other relatives because it could ruin relationships.