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Recommendation Gifts Question - Page 2

post #16 of 21
3/10/10 at 6:40pm
Thread Starter 
I just feel that if someone does me a favor where I can't "pay them back" somehow, a gift of sorts suffices. If you write me a recommendation, you're doing me a favor, a potentially important one, and would actually be offended if you didn't do something - a kind card, a bottle of wine, etc. It's more just showing that I appreciate what you did for me without consideration for the better things you could be doing than writing me a recommendation. It's a selfless act on your part, and if I don't show my appreciation for your selflessness to my benefit, I'm a douche.
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post #17 of 21
3/10/10 at 6:43pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by philosophe View Post
Really. As a professor, I routinely help my students and colleagues advance. It's a basic part of my job. Further, I just don't think writing letters of recommendation is especially taxing for anyone. If your corporate culture is to give gifts, give a gift, but don't be smarmy. It's just admission to a graduate program, and it is not as if they "made" your application. You have your own record of achievement to stand on, and you will have to succeed on your own achievements later.

In cases where I've helped out colleagues, I've sometimes been taken out to dinner, sometimes not. They are peers in a way that students are not. Again, writing letters is something I do a lot.


+1.

Also, if you are a good student, I am more than happy to write you a letter. Actually, I'll probably do an extra leg and personally contact colleagues in the department telling them to watch out for X student's application. If you are a poor student or an indifferent student, I'd probably beg off writing the letter, by saying something like "I'm not sure I'm the best person to give you a strong recommendation." And no number of gifts is going to change my mind. In fact, if it's gratingly ass-kissing, it might inadvertently have a negative effect.

I don't know what your corporate culture is, however.
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post #18 of 21
3/10/10 at 6:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by dhc905 View Post
I just feel that if someone does me a favor where I can't "pay them back" somehow, a gift of sorts suffices. If you write me a recommendation, you're doing me a favor, a potentially important one, and would actually be offended if you didn't do something - a kind card, a bottle of wine, etc. It's more just showing that I appreciate what you did for me without consideration for the better things you could be doing than writing me a recommendation.

It's a selfless act on your part, and if I don't show my appreciation for your selflessness to my benefit, I'm a douche.

This is not the case, at least not in academia. Believe it or not, there is a concept of "pay it forward". I have been given good advice and support from my mentors, and continue to benefit from this, and I extend this network of support to my students, and I'd expect that they do the same in turn, etc... I think that I gave my PhD advisor a card and a heartfelt thank you, and have bought him some drinks since, and that was for supporting me (intellectually, academically, and financially) for five and a half years of grad school.
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post #19 of 21
3/10/10 at 6:50pm
Academia is different. It seems to me that's part of a prof's job somehow. I understand the OP's desire to thank these guys one way or another - taking them out to lunch, a bottle of wine... doesn't have to be the most expensive scotch though...
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post #20 of 21
3/10/10 at 6:59pm
Thread Starter 
In all honesty I wanted to get a bottle for myself but it wouldn't pass under the GF's radar unless I justified it this way... Also, the rec has been written and this is a combination - thanks for writing, I'm celebrating, and thanks for employing me, I want to make sure you remember me in a couple years type of gift.
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post #21 of 21
3/11/10 at 12:36am
Quote:
Originally Posted by LA Guy View Post
I think that I gave my PhD advisor a card and a heartfelt thank you, and have bought him some drinks since, and that was for supporting me (intellectually, academically, and financially) for five and a half years of grad school.

I spent a few quarters enjoying a Wii that had been bought for my college roommate's dad as a PhD advisor gift. It was quite nice of the student to entertain me (kidding...we only had the wii for a few quarters before it went back home with him)
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