Girl advice: making this work

Originally Posted by makker

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She just sparks something. Its hard to say but she seems very nice. She is attractive and smart and comes from a rather affluent family as well.
so you are 16, 17....so i know you are going to take this as Old Guy Advice from someone twice your age, but trust me on this kiddo...you are going to have this feeling many many times in the years to come...and you will become better at managing it. At the moment this thread reads like a bad episode of the Wonder Years, but let this one go, learn from it what you can, take the pain that comes with a pretty obvious rejection, and move on to the next one.

Originally Posted by makker

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I am a quite a lonely person as well at this moment...


dude, this alone is reason enough to follow what everyone has already told you. forget about her (i know it's so much easier said than done) and go out and meet as many other woman as you possibly can. trust me, you're still young and now is the time to be working on meeting women and learning how to break their hearts instead of the other way around. otherwise, it's not going to get any easier for you.

-Jeff

Originally Posted by Simontuntelder

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Read The Game and have it over with. This would even improve your social skills and kill some time while reading it.
No, no, no, no. Do not look for the answers to this in a book. Life is not a game.

Originally Posted by Matt

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so you are 16, 17....so i know you are going to take this as Old Guy Advice from someone twice your age, but trust me on this kiddo...you are going to have this feeling many many times in the years to come...and you will become better at managing it. At the moment this thread reads like a bad episode of the Wonder Years, but let this one go, learn from it what you can, take the pain that comes with a pretty obvious rejection, and move on to the next one.
^Matt speaks the truth. (This advice is from a Really Old Guy. 5 or 6 times your age, at least according to kwilk.)

Originally Posted by r...

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This.

I know you're young, and you're obviously inexperienced, so you have no idea how to control you emotions. However, you're just some anonymous internet kid to me, and you're still giving me the creeps. You really come across as obsessive, I suspect because you are obsessing.

Just move on. Like Matt said, you're going to go through this again, and you're going to have to learn how to deal with the pain. You also can't force a girl to like you. Take this as a learning experience for later in life.

Originally Posted by makker

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She just sparks something. Its hard to say but she seems very nice. She is attractive and smart and comes from a rather affluent family as well.
Is she a Kennedy? If not, move on. You're looking at college/uni next year..believe me, you'll soon forget about her.

you are an annoying ****.

You blew it with that girl. You had a chance (or 5) to make her like you romantically, and you didn't. It's over. She gave you a chance, and you blew it. Once girls make their minds up, that's usually it. Move and on try to learn from the experience. Stop bugging her.

Originally Posted by makker

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If I followed that advice, my life would look like this:

http://img714.imageshack.us/img714/8...6712914935.jpg

I am a quite a lonely person as well at this moment, so getting this to work would help me out alot. I am not necessarily looking for a long-term serious relationship, more like having a girl who I can cuddle with and spend time with.

Letting girls come to me just doesnt work personally. What I've noticed is to make any change in your life, you need to make the initiative. Not her. Because she wont.

This is a pretty revealing bunch of statements.

Look at how needy you come across as. "I'm lonely... I need cuddling... I'm bored and want a girl to make me feel better and entertain me."

Girls don't want that. Who would? Girls want a cool, confident guy who is interesting, who does interesting things and who gives THEM value: you make them laugh, you show them cool things, you teach them about cool things. Needy is the biggest turn-off in the world.

If you strive to make all your interactions with girls (and people in general), value-giving as opposed to the 99% of people who are merely value-taking, everyone will always welcome your company.

She sensed the desperation in your tone of voice, body language, facial expressions and wasn't turned on. Girls are experts are reading these signs. http://www.theonion.com/content/vide...ion_refuses_to

Originally Posted by makker

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Here we go again.

Ok, heres the situation. I've got a girl in mind, a year below me. Therefore its hard to get in touch with her since I dont see her around as much as I see my other classmates. If I do, shes always hurdled around her friends so approaching her seems difficult.

Almost exactly a year ago I "asked her out", which didnt turn out good. I was quite surprised how far I got it to go through virtual insanity. I began talking to her through facebook, made nice comments on her pics and eventually asked her for coffee through fb chat. How lame is this? Well, we went for coffee and I guess it went okay, I couldve done better. I just needed something to get to know her better and then take her out for a real date maybe if I knew she was the right type. It didnt turn out good either a bit due to my shyness. Once I saw her sitting by herself - remarkably - in the library and I went over to small talk, but I couldnt think of things to say so she eventually left with her friends. Didnt see her later and I made the mistake of asking what her weekend plans were through an inbox message, when she replies that she doesnt know.. and later hoping that I would understand that the first time was the last time. ****.

A few months later, I ask her how her summer vacation was going, to which she replies nicely. However, a reply to my post from her friend tells me to give up. I feel totally in pieces now.

Life has moved on now over 365 days later.. I have no idea if her mind has changed. I've seen her looking around at me at school lately, but my novice experience with women tells me that I dont know if this is a sign or not. Things have continued the same way for the whole year, dont see her that much. I dont know if shes been avoiding me somehow either, because she is always offline on fb even though new **** appears on her wall. Can you block someone on fb chat? Well anyhoo, she was online last night and I had a nice 16 min convo which didnt lead anywhere though, but it was nice to see what was up. What I hope is for her to give me a second chance. She really seems appealing but I still would need to get to know her better. I still regret for not making it work a year ago, as I had it all in my hands.

I know youre thinking that I should grow a pair, but I just cant help it. You might also be thinking that it wont work, but even the smallest suggestions to make this work would be excellent. The hard thing is interpreting women in general; how do I know if shes after a relationship even or not? Or would she be willing to be friends at most?

I really need to learn to socialize and send out more positive vibes if this ever works. The problem is that all the topics I can think of revolve around school or then its something very general such as your favorite X, even though its always a starting point but not very charismatic or fluent dialogue.. more like interrogation.

You'll learn with time to control your emotions. It's very easy to become obsessed with a girl you don't even really know if you keep thinking about her.

Now. Don't talk to her on facebook. Do you want to be someone who is always there to talk to or someone who people look forward to actually seeing and talking to?

Do you think anyone has ever had an interesting conversation in the library? for a start, you have to be quiet. also, both of you are both busy with other ****, so of course one of you is gonna have something else to do. You should have said hi, then gone and done the study/whatever else it is you had to do.

Also, it's pretty hard if you're a shy guy to have exciting conversation over coffee with someone you don't know so well. If you'd even done the bog standard of going to see a movie, at least then you'd have had something to talk about!

But yeah, we've all been there mate. it's best to forget about this one and find another girl. You'll meet plenty of girls in the next few years.

you have oneitis

read

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&r...qi=g4&aql=&oq=
http://www.seductionbase.com/seducti...inner/720.html
http://www.fastseduction.com/asf-faq.shtml

Originally Posted by makker

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I should grow a pair

Originally Posted by Blackhood

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Grow a pair.

Originally Posted by Dakota rube

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No, no, no, no.
Do not look for the answers to this in a book. Life is not a game.



^Matt speaks the truth.
(This advice is from a Really Old Guy. 5 or 6 times your age, at least according to kwilk.)

These. (I'm older than Matt but not quite as decrepit as Rube.)

From a female post on another forum:

I've never been one to make friends and then discover the attraction later on, if I'm initially attracted to the person I make it very clear and am even more attracted if they feel and show the same without fear. If they don't share that, if they prefer to give the illusion of a friendship, displaying no hint of interest, and then ask me out a year later, I guarantee I will reject them.

Thanks for the advice guys. I've began my pursuit for other girls now.

Though out of curiosity, going for coffee / movies and that **** is boring, where should you take a girl for a date?

Originally Posted by makker

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Though out of curiosity, going for coffee / movies and that **** is boring, where should you take a girl for a date?

Coffee/movies.

Originally Posted by makker

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Thanks for the advice guys. I've began my pursuit for other girls now. Though out of curiosity, going for coffee / movies and that **** is boring, where should you take a girl for a date?
A party. You know, good music, wasted people, permissive climate, etc. You are 16-17, you're supposed to want to hump like you're life depends on it, don't go drink coffee and talk about your lameness. One thing you need to keep in mind is that, without dropping your pants or telling her you'd like to touch her in her knickers, you need to convey the idea that you're INTERESTED in the girl from the start, maybe start having that attitude with a bunch of girls you meet? I mean even if you aren't interested, sex by itself isn't bad. Of course all the fun of adolescence is in ******* that up and ending up with the girl 3 months and a litter of tears later so... ps: forget that chick though, she doesn't like you. Some guy named Andrà who owns a crotch rocket, has a "indie-rock band" and barely knows her name is probably hitting it already. He didn't invite her for a coffee or chat at the library...