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Hoarders - Page 3

post #31 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas View Post

oh, shit. I don't know how I'd handle seeing that.

It was putrid. Completely disgusting.
post #32 of 51
I can't watch this show. Not necessarily because of the gross-out factor, although the cat in the fridge thing sounds absolutely crazy, but because the therapists are so patient and kind with the hoarders. I know this is the only viable approach in helping them, but it's maddening. Everything in me wants to reach out to the hoarder and yell, "If you don't throw this shit away, I'm going to burn your filthy house down!" So basically, watching the show would only lead me to confront my intrinsically petulant, assholish nature.
post #33 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by erictheobscure View Post

I can't watch this show. Not necessarily because of the gross-out factor, although the cat in the fridge thing sounds absolutely crazy, but because the therapists are so patient and kind with the hoarders. I know this is the only viable approach in helping them, but it's maddening. Everything in me wants to reach out to the hoarder and yell, "If you don't throw this shit away, I'm going to burn your filthy house down!" So basically, watching the show would only lead me to confront my intrinsically petulant, assholish nature.

Lol, that's exactly what I do when I watch it. I scream at the television that they need to beat these people with hammers and raze the home.
post #34 of 51
I just don't understand how one's spouse or family can let it reach ot that point without ever trying to get help for them. The people I feel sorry for is the cleaning crew who must be freaked out by seeing all these crazy things. My solution is to set he house on fire and start over.
post #35 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by dragon8 View Post

I just don't understand how one's spouse or family can let it reach ot that point without ever trying to get help for them. The people I feel sorry for is the cleaning crew who must be freaked out by seeing all these crazy things. My solution is to set he house on fire and start over.

Easy answer here: Rational, sane, well-adjusted people are always at a disadvantage in these situations. ALWAYS.
post #36 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas View Post

Easy answer here: Rational, sane, well-adjusted people are always at a disadvantage in these situations. ALWAYS.

your right. Family on the show pleads with them for years and nothing happens
post #37 of 51
I've never watched the show. It would cut too close to home.

My mom is a hoarder.

Less bad now, but growing up, she found it nearly impossible to throw away anything. She had completely irrational ideas that pretty much everything had a potential use. If we were living in a post-apocalyptic society, it might have made sense, but in the context of normal life, it's nuts. We kept everything: food jars, newspapers, everything.

Not content with our own stuff, she also constantly had us scrounging through trash to find "useful" stuff. Our home was filled to the ceiling with boxes of stuff.

We were poor for a long time, but when we finally had some money, it got worse. We were able to buy a house, and my mom was able to buy stuff to fill it with. She was too frugal to buy clothing, so she bought cloth and sheets. (The idea being that she would sew it into clothing.) We had thousands (not an exaggeration) of sheets and bolts of cloth. She went nuts at stores like Tuesday Morning, and we had 30+ sets of dishes. When I left home at 18, my mom had 2 houses, both filled with stuff.

It's a strange malady, and I assume that a lot of is due to living poor for so long (we were pretty impoverished for a long time, including a period of homelessness,) coupled with some sort of clinical psychosis.

I tried to help her on numerous occasions, but she wigged out if I threw anything away.

It's better now, because she's too old to really do too much hoarding. She's also a bit more open to help. I've got all of her stuff moved into several big trailers. It makes her happy to know she's got it, and it cleared out her home so she has room to live.
post #38 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kai View Post

I've never watched the show. It would cut too close to home.
My mom is a hoarder.
Less bad now, but growing up, she found it nearly impossible to throw away anything. She had completely irrational ideas that pretty much everything had a potential use. If we were living in a post-apocalyptic society, it might have made sense, but in the context of normal life, it's nuts. We kept everything: food jars, newspapers, everything.
Not content with our own stuff, she also constantly had us scrounging through trash to find "useful" stuff. Our home was filled to the ceiling with boxes of stuff.
We were poor for a long time, but when we finally had some money, it got worse. We were able to buy a house, and my mom was able to buy stuff to fill it with. She was too frugal to buy clothing, so she bought cloth and sheets. (The idea being that she would sew it into clothing.) We had thousands (not an exaggeration) of sheets and bolts of cloth. She went nuts at stores like Tuesday Morning, and we had 30+ sets of dishes. When I left home at 18, my mom had 2 houses, both filled with stuff.
It's a strange malady, and I assume that a lot of is due to living poor for so long (we were pretty impoverished for a long time, including a period of homelessness,) coupled with some sort of clinical psychosis.
I tried to help her on numerous occasions, but she wigged out if I threw anything away.
It's better now, because she's too old to really do too much hoarding. She's also a bit more open to help. I've got all of her stuff moved into several big trailers. It makes her happy to know she's got it, and it cleared out her home so she has room to live.

Sorry to hear and glad things are working out.
post #39 of 51
Sorry to hear Kai.

Yesterday's show featured crushed, dried-out cat carcasses. It was hideous.
post #40 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kai View Post

I've never watched the show. It would cut too close to home.
My mom is a hoarder.
(...)
It's better now, because she's too old to really do too much hoarding. She's also a bit more open to help. I've got all of her stuff moved into several big trailers. It makes her happy to know she's got it, and it cleared out her home so she has room to live.

Holy cow, Kai. Glad things are a bit better.
Quote:
Originally Posted by harvey_birdman View Post

Sorry to hear Kai.
Yesterday's show featured crushed, dried-out cat carcasses. It was hideous.

oy jeeez.

...

My dad's uncle isn't a hoarder but he's got a couple of storage containers full of hardware. I mean, nuts and bolts and screws and nails and scrap metal and so on. And damn if we can ever find what we need in there in less than an hour. Would take me less time to walk to the hardware store.
post #41 of 51
I wouldn't be able to watch for similar reasons to Kai's. My mom went from "pack rat" to "hoarder" as her dementia advanced. It hadn't reached the proportions that Kai describes, but it still took us months to clear out her house when she moved to assisted living. I'd almost say that she had a shopping mania more than a hoarding complex; her bedroom was about 4' deep in clothing from TJ Maxx and Chico's - I get the shudders whenever I pass one of those stores.

It always freaks me out when I see similar tendencies in myself.
post #42 of 51
My aunt, who is in her 60's, is a hoarder. She has a large apartment (she lives by herself) and I remember a family gathering there 12-15 years ago where we had well over 20 people and there was so still so much empty space. Last time I was there, about 7-8 years ago, I had to enter her apartment sideways. The front door could not be fully opened and the hallway was packed from floor to ceiling with only a small space in the middle available to walk through. In the living room, if I sat on sofa A and you sat on sofa B, we could not sit across from each other as our legs would hit since the two sofas were pushed up against each other and every other square inch in the room is taken with furniture/paintings/garbage bags full of stuff/old TV's and lamps. I'm told the bedrooms are the same and you can barely make out the bed. She has a cat that must get lost amongst all that crap. And the cat, it pisses/craps in the toilet. She's taught the fucking cat to use the toilet. I haven't taken my kids there and don't plan on it. She's not "crazy", yet she lives like a crazy person. Can't explain it. She can converse with you about the days events, doesn't have any bizarre "theories" or outlooks, she just has a salvation army store in her apartment confused.gif
post #43 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by edmorel View Post

My aunt, who is in her 60's, is a hoarder. She has a large apartment (she lives by herself) and I remember a family gathering there 12-15 years ago where we had well over 20 people and there was so still so much empty space. Last time I was there, about 7-8 years ago, I had to enter her apartment sideways. The front door could not be fully opened and the hallway was packed from floor to ceiling with only a small space in the middle available to walk through. In the living room, if I sat on sofa A and you sat on sofa B, we could not sit across from each other as our legs would hit since the two sofas were pushed up against each other and every other square inch in the room is taken with furniture/paintings/garbage bags full of stuff/old TV's and lamps. I'm told the bedrooms are the same and you can barely make out the bed. She has a cat that must get lost amongst all that crap. And the cat, it pisses/craps in the toilet. She's taught the fucking cat to use the toilet. I haven't taken my kids there and don't plan on it. She's not "crazy", yet she lives like a crazy person. Can't explain it. She can converse with you about the days events, doesn't have any bizarre "theories" or outlooks, she just has a salvation army store in her apartment confused.gif

Have you guys (family) thought about getting her some help?
post #44 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by dragon8 View Post

Have you guys (family) thought about getting her some help?

well, she doesn't have a problem if you ask her, so its hard to help someone that does not think they need help. Her married daughter was staying with her for awhile but that was temporary and she says she is not planning on going back. Her son is a successful business owner, but they have issues (he's gay and has not really come out but you'd have to be stupid not to know). I think she's blocked that out of her mind and he lives in her building as he feels responsible to keep an eye on her but the relationship is not really strong and he is not really living the life that he wants to so there's a lot more than just the hoarding going on. My family is a mess, if I had Bill Gates's money, I'd probably go through at least half of it on therapy for everyone and would still probably have issues.
post #45 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by edmorel View Post

well, she doesn't have a problem if you ask her, so its hard to help someone that does not think they need help. Her married daughter was staying with her for awhile but that was temporary and she says she is not planning on going back. Her son is a successful business owner, but they have issues (he's gay and has not really come out but you'd have to be stupid not to know). I think she's blocked that out of her mind and he lives in her building as he feels responsible to keep an eye on her but the relationship is not really strong and he is not really living the life that he wants to so there's a lot more than just the hoarding going on. My family is a mess, if I had Bill Gates's money, I'd probably go through at least half of it on therapy for everyone and would still probably have issues.

Sorry to hear that. At least her children have tried to assist her.
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