Vegas tips for yokels

I always suggest people see the desert: Red Rock (visitor's center, scenic drive, a side hike or two) in the morning and Hoover Dam (scenic route, Lake Mead, Dam tour) in the afternoon and evening. But since you've already been camping in the state that may not be so important, unless you were camping in northern NV. For your stay, I'd recommend the Golden Nugget, downtown. You'd avoid the crowds at the strip, have easy in/out with a car, and get a good value for a hotel. The pool has good slides and things, I'm told. I was a lifeguard there around 1990, when the pool was just a pool. For shows, just check the internet and visit the hotels you want to see. You should drive down the Strip once or twice, but after that, if you want to avoid the crowds, I'd suggest approaching the hotels from their side streets (Flamingo, Tropicana, etc) or their rear entrances (Industrial Rd. on the West). I would never take such "supplements" due to the criminal dangers, as you mention, but also for the legal and health risks.

I have no comment on "supplements." However, I second the Golden Nugget recommendation. Small, nice hotel downtown, which is the last bastion of reasonably priced gambling left in Vegas (walk down Fremont street to any number of places for decent low stakes gambling).

The pool also has a shark tank and the slide goes right through the middle of it.

With so many options I recommend vegas.com and research. I frequent vegas about twice a year for partying and usually just stay in MGM or a dive place with my boys. Pool - Only been to handful but Mandalay Bay is my favorite. MGM is ok - Ill be going there again in May. Just be careful as March is early season and there may be reduced hours or bad weather. Oh, and pools are fun but expensive. Can be a GREAT scene though. Games - You can find anywhere. Go at a non-peak hour and the card dealers are more than happy to show you the ropes if your not an ass. Blackjack is easy and fun. Simple to learn and easy to teach. i recommend that (Provided she can count to 21) Magic Shows - Im not really familiar with any Magic shows because Im not a faggot. Clubs - I have personally never had any issue at any clubs Ive been to. I have yet to go to XS @ the Wynn but I hear thats the cream of the crop in vegas right now. They are all a little different but when it boils down to it they're all just clubs with loud music and pricey drinks. Whatever hotel your at should have a house club, which you can generally get free entrance to. EDIT: Only been down to fremont 2 times and it seemed a little cheesy to me. Plus its a long way from the strip. Just keep in mind its not the most exciting part of town.

never done this, but here's how to tip the front desk $20 for an upgrade. It seems to work: http://www.fatwallet.com/forums/trav...ussion/529706/ I had a university computer class where we simulated outcomes for different casino games. The results convinced me to spend my entertainment dollars elsewhere. luck,

I always see non-native English speakers playing Pai Gow, but I assume they have advance knowledge.

Avoid shellfish at the buffets.

OK... here are a few random things.... ON GAMING... if you're not a high roller, don't play on the strip. Better odds, games, and limits down-town or on the old strip.... and they'll treat you better. check out wizardofodds.com for tips on where to find special games / best odds. Shameless plug.... a few of my friends started a podcast (its rambling, but I enjoy it b/c it's my friends) for people doing vegas on all kinds of budgets. www.vegaswithjimandjohn.com My opinion... best magic show is Penn & Teller for about $85 at Rio. Amazing Jonathan is also good, and I'm not sure what the new Chriss Angel show is like since it's cirque now. I have tix in March for Wayne Newton, and I'm super psyched... if you can see him, it's a classic show. He's at the Trop for a while. Helecoptor ride over the strip is an awesome non-gambling activity. Also, for $200 / night, you should have your pick of some pretty decent places right now. If you can't find a good rate on the web (try travelaxe.com, one of my favorite tools), consider picking a hotel with a price that's just a little above your range and calling their marketing department. RE: supplements, I can't help you there... but I can tell you the off-strip "local" dance clubs have always seemed a little shady to me. check out Drais for some after-hours fun.

isn't the Golden Nugget on the old strip?? If so, avoid like the plague. Nobody there but old folks and weirdos. Find a hotel on the new strip for the full Vegas experience (for better or worse). Stay at the Bellagio if you can afford it.

Stay in the center strip. Best bet is MGM if you want a large-ish pool but its kind of far from the middle of it all...so maybe go to the Flamingo, they have a nice pool and a waterfall...not sure about water slides though. Flamingo also has some history and is kind of old-cheeseball vegas. Not luxurious though...if you can swing it, I'd stay at the Venetian, that place is great. See if Oakenfold is spinning at the Palms that weekend, I think he's a resident DJ on Saturdays. Best bet for trance type music is at an afterhours such as Drais...most of the mainstream clubs have terrible DJs. Don't go to the popular clubs without bottle service. Not sure if there still around, but some of the strip clubs turn into clubs with a high % of drugged out peeps on techno/house. I do like the music at places like Tabu ultralounge at the MGM though.....a little less mainstream. I think Wet Republic pool party at the MGM will be open by then (March 12th). will be cold-ish still.

For the love of god don't stay at the golden nugget. It's fine to sightsee downtown but you don't want to stay there. Right now your hotel budget is large - Vegas is hurting. If you are there midweek you can literally stay in any hotel you want. Weekends probbaly not but there is chance you can find a deal at even the wynn or Venetian in your price range. Note that pools won't really be a factor as it won't be warm enough

A water slide? Through a freakin' shark tank? That is awesome!


Heard Penn and Teller are good, and I'll check them out next time.

Chriss Angel absolutely sucked, and it was expensive. We saw 3 shows last time we went and it was the worst in terms of value and entertainment.

Personally, I like downtown/Fremont if you're on a budget (we got a clean room for about $6/night after discounts), and the Deuce bus can take you anywhere as long as you're not in a hurry. $200 should be fine for most hotels on the strip.

First a warning: If you start the magical mystery tour I've detailed below prior to midnight, I'm not responsible for what happens to you. Take your X or LSD or peyote or lick that toad you found in the desert, then go to Rain at the Palms and watch the hipsters gyrate (or gyrate yourself). Head up (or is it down?) to Ghost Bar --> purple neon + excessive plastic surgery = trippy . . . . you'll swear you can see breast implants glowing under the skin. While you are still under the influence take a cab to the Bellaggio. Watch the crazy fountains. Take the trolly South to the Luxor. The mini New York, big MGM lion, and huge pyramid will be unreasonably amusing. Go see any show that involves music, dancing, or costumes. I don't recommend magic - it's too hard to follow. The Crazy Horse at the MGM is a good, if expensive, choice. Next, take a cab to the Olympic Garden strip club (not too clean, not too scary) if your GF is into that. Otherwise pick a place and go play roulette or something. You're not too likely to make $$ and you'll be wasted, so trying to manage cards is out. "Old School" Vegas isn't really that fun, especially on drugs, unless you are into watching otherwise frugal retirees gamble away the remains of their social security. You'll have more trippy fun at the big casinos, but in my experience the casino floor is the last place you'll want to spend your time (although I once won a tidy sum at blackjack while kind of under the influence, but it was pure luck - no skill involved - and I pissed off the other players at the table in the process). Get back in a cab and go to the Black Bear Diner. Eat yourself silly. By now it should be daylight. If you can hold out until 10:00 am, you can end the night with a gondola ride at the Venetian, which is so ridiculous it hurts but still relaxing. As for pools, I can't recommend anything. Pools are disease ridden cesspools, and I hate tribal tattoos. I hear the Hard Rock pool is fun, but that's coming from girls too young to know better. P.S. I made all of this up. I've never even been to Vegas or taken drugs. In fact, someone hacked my account and posted this.

I'll vouch for Ghost Bar and Rain. I spent the night after New Years at those two clubs and had a great time.