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Doing the "right thing" vs. doing what's best for you (me)

post #1 of 14
2/9/10 at 11:04pm
Thread Starter 
Hokay. So there's this girl, and we sometimes work together, and about 2 months ago we started hanging out and hooking up. We've have done everything except for intercourse. She left the area about a month ago, but will be home again in a month. Here's my problem. She has emotional feelings for me, and I don't have those same feelings for her.

I enjoy hanging out with her and hooking up, and we'll 100% for sure have sex once she's back. She's decently attractive, wouldn't brag about her but not ashamed about her either. The thing is, I'm not attracted to her enough (physically, mentally, emotionally, etc) to date her or be anything remotely serious, and I don't want to lead her on.

So should I tell her all this, but in a nice way, and run the risk of getting nothing out of it, or not say anything and get my nut but possibly end up hurting her feelings and have her hate me?

If you've ever been in a similar situation, please describe it and discuss what course of action you took. Thanks!
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post #2 of 14
2/9/10 at 11:06pm
Have sex with her and then drop her off at the bus stop. Give her cash for the fare, as that's the gentlemanly thing to do.
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post #3 of 14
2/9/10 at 11:13pm
Tell her up front you want a frieds-with-benefits relationship. If she's cool with it, then you have a fuckbuddy for a while. If not, it's best to break it up now and save yourself future headaches (although we'll miss the lulz when you inevitably come back here for advice on how to get rid of a crazy chick).
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post #4 of 14
2/9/10 at 11:21pm
in the long run you'll be doing whats best for yourself if you are honest

im not talking about in some kind of spiritual way or anything

just that if you dont do it upfront it'll take you ages to pluck up the courage (especially after the act) and you will waste time with someone your not 100% on
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post #5 of 14
2/9/10 at 11:26pm
does she like you enough that there's a real possibility she'd pay you for sex? preferably cash in case of tax audit.
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post #6 of 14
2/9/10 at 11:46pm
How do you hook up with someone for 2 months and not sleep with them?
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post #7 of 14
2/9/10 at 11:47pm
Maybe you should find out how good she is in the sack before you go telling her you only want to be friends.
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post #8 of 14
2/9/10 at 11:51pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DNW View Post
If not, it's best to break it up now and save yourself future headaches (although we'll miss the lulz when you inevitably come back here for advice on how to get rid of a crazy chick).

Depending on the quality of the sechs, I think it could be worth a headache. Definitely, for the rest us, it will be worth the story telling either way.
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post #9 of 14
2/9/10 at 11:55pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nil View Post
How do you hook up with someone for 2 months and not sleep with them?

We started 2 months ago, but we were actually hanging out for < 1 week.
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post #10 of 14
2/10/10 at 5:33pm
Be honest. And tell her face-to-face how you feel (or don't feel as the case may be). For all you know, maybe her feelings have changed. Regardless, do the right thing and tell her...before you get to any more physical stuff. But judging from the title of your post, you know what the right thing to do is. So get to it.
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post #11 of 14
2/10/10 at 6:54pm
In general I think it is bad policy to knowingly cause someone serious heartache just to bust a nut. Put me in the full disclosure camp.
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post #12 of 14
2/10/10 at 7:08pm
Yeah. Get things straight between the two of you. If she's game for a FWB deal, then enjoy.
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post #13 of 14
2/10/10 at 7:21pm
Be honest.
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post #14 of 14
2/10/10 at 7:27pm
Here's the deal -

Years ago you could have kept it casual and got laid into the bargain.....

nowadays you got deadly STD's to worry about and if she gets accidentally PREGGERS..... you are in DEPP DOO DOO!!!
You'll financially pay for a kid you'll probably not get to spend a lot of time with if it does not work out - which by the way it does not sound like it will.

While your banging her (and not being really into her) you'll miss out on possible meeting someone you'd much rather share your love (juice) with.


or you could just bang her for a bit and dump her..............

good luck.
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