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Politeness - Page 2

post #16 of 66
Being polite is great, people really respond to it. I just do the typical though, "Sir" and "Ma'am", "my pleasure", a firm handshake, looking into a person's eyes when I talk to them...

You can say good manners are a necessity, or you can accuse me of brown-nosing. Either way, I wouldn't argue with you.


I am considering checking out this book to see what else I can do.

post #17 of 66
Every time I pay in a supermarket in Texas with my credit card the clerk seems to have this urge to say thank you but instead of calling me Mr X they call me by my first name. Well, call me a French snob (which I am) but I just can't stand that. So as an experiment I had one of my credit cards issued with Dr in front of my name assuming that being a Doctor would hopefully command some respect. It seems that this had the adverse effect (probably due to the fact that I look younger than I am) that they look at me suspiciously and ask for my driver license ending with them thanking me and using my first name - I just can't stand it.
post #18 of 66
Weird, they always call me mister, and I'm not only young, but look younger than I really am.
post #19 of 66
My parents and I love making fun of people who insist on being called doctor.
post #20 of 66
Why? If I spent all that time in school, I'd insist on being called Dr. as well. Hell, I DID spend that much time in school and still, all I have to show for it is a Bachelor's. Think of it this way, at least the Dr. isn't insisting on calling you plebian.
post #21 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by javyn
Why? If I spent all that time in school, I'd insist on being called Dr. as well. Hell, I DID spend that much time in school and still, all I have to show for it is a Bachelor's. Think of it this way, at least the Dr. isn't insisting on calling you plebian.

my parents are both physicians, my mother spent an enormous amount of time in medical school and has several areas of expertise in medicine, making her much more qualified than most doctors. They also come from an ultra conservative background and still they think it's pretensious to correct people who call them Mr. or even by their first name.
post #22 of 66
What's cool when you have a doctorate is that you get to book your tickets for flights for Dr. XYZ. I've seen how that helps to get an update or at least the staff is a tad more respectful (I don't have a doctorate yet, so only observations from travelling with people who have...). In fact I only found out that a friend's father is Prof. Dr. after more than a year when I saw a business card somewhere. Even when he's on TV he only goes by his name and his business function. Oh Bob, I couldn't help but do a quick google and came up with that: You've got some explaining/ updating to do (seersucker anyone): Hat and jacket in a closed room...
post #23 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by javyn
Why? If I spent all that time in school, I'd insist on being called Dr. as well. Hell, I DID spend that much time in school and still, all I have to show for it is a Bachelor's. Think of it this way, at least the Dr. isn't insisting on calling you plebian.

I think Fok will confirm it, but that gets old after the first three weeks. Outside of formal settings, the only time the title is of any use in the US is on airplane tickets.

One earns a doctorate because one is very interested in pushing the boundaries of knowledge in a given subject. Or, because compared to many other jobs the lot of the academic is fairly secure and allows plenty of free time. Simply wanting the title does not at all make it worth the effort.

But my favorite titlemongers are the Austrians. A family friend has two doctorates and teaches at the University of Vienna. His door plaque reads "Herr Univ.-Prof. Dr. Dr. [name]." I shit you not.
post #24 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by SGladwell
I think Fok will confirm it, but that gets old after the first three weeks. Outside of formal settings, the only time the title is of any use in the US is on airplane tickets.

One earns a doctorate because one is very interested in pushing the boundaries of knowledge in a given subject. Or, because compared to many other jobs the lot of the academic is fairly secure and allows plenty of free time. Simply wanting the title does not at all make it worth the effort.

But my favorite titlemongers are the Austrians. A family friend has two doctorates and teaches at the University of Vienna. His door plaque reads "Herr Univ.-Prof. Dr. Dr. [name]." I shit you not.
I think this Teutonic obsession with doctorate titles comes from the fact that noble titles are no longer in effect.
post #25 of 66
sounds about right, LK.
post #26 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by LabelKing
I think this Teutonic obsession with doctorate titles comes from the fact that noble titles are no longer in effect.
Or at least a way to for the bourgeoisie to compensate during the time when the nobility was in force. I just finished reading a really interesting book that covered a slice of Austrian history when the Hof was very much ascendant, Vienna from shortly before the time of Wilhelm II's first state visit to shortly after Crown Prince Rudolf's suicide. In that time, it was already customary for people to refer to themselves as "dr. dr." if they had two doctorates, and "dr dr dr" if they had three. The distinction between a garden-variety doctorate holder and someone with a university teaching/research position was also already enshrined. (The Germans, from what I remember, don't do that one so much.)
post #27 of 66
I prefer to be called by my first name in person, but in letters? Please. When I applied to college/law school/first jobs, I found it somewhat disrespectful to receive letters from these places addressing me, "Dear Joe." They didn't know me - hell, some even shortened my name from Joseph, even though I didn't do that anywhere on my applications.

On a sidenote, my best friend and I still get jollies by addressing each other as "doctor." (He's an MD, I'm a JD.)
post #28 of 66
I am particularly fond of the Italians' inclination to use personal and professional titles at all times.
post #29 of 66
A couple of comments on the title.

Now that it has been mentioned and I think of it, my supermarket checkers always call me Mr. I like it.

I don't actually know any physicians, but all of the PhD's that I know laugh (heartily) and roll their eyes at people expecting others to call them doctor. Maybe it's because so many people we know are, that it just seems pretentious (sp?). I actually prefer the title Professor. To me anyway, it makes it much more clear that I teach.

There is actually a secondary reason for not putting Dr on official things like airline tickets. People assume you are a physician and can be very very rude if they learn you are not. It sounds like a joke, but people do have that attitude of "but you're not a real doctor." Check the etymology folks. "[Middle English, an expert, authority, from Old French docteur, from Latin doctor, teacher, from docre, to teach. See dek- in Indo-European Roots.]"

And, finally, cut me some slack, I put the jacket and hat on inside just for the photo.

bob
post #30 of 66
A number of firms, including Sierra Trading Post, Overstock.com and Open Table set their computers to respond by calling their customers by their first name.
As you would expect from me, a French snob-like, I have complained. I got absolutely no-where as the result of a 1/2 hour chat with the President of STP, but its computer now addresses me as me "Pollock," as does the computer at Overstock (but Mr. would be better). The latter also gave me a $10 credit for being overly familiar with and disrespectful to a 65 year-old lawyer with whom it was not a close friend. It said that it did not "intend to disrespect" me.
Is "disrespect" a verb?
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