In wake of a devastating relationship demise many years ago, I went through a phase where I pushed back against the idea of marriage and having children. It was never a blanket mindset that considered either as being ridiculous for everyone, but rather, ridiculous for some people. I suspected for a while I may be one of these people. I can be so self-serving and immature at times that I couldn't fathom me essentially making myself second banana for the sake of a child.
Then I met this girl who had been good friends with one of my closest female friends. We hit it off, but she came with baggage, namely two young children (one who was less than a year old at that time) and a bum of a "baby daddy" who she had recently split from but was still living with due to his total lack of income or other living prospects.
We started meeting up for drinks every couple weeks, and eventually, went down the inevitable path cleared by lots of alcohol and physical attraction. It wasn't an isolated incident, but I recall being adamant about getting any further involved with someone who had children. After a couple months of this, I met them and before I knew what'd happened, they'd stolen this old chunk of coal's heart. Many times I've gone to her place, more excited to see her kids than to see her. You kind of know what you're getting with another adult most of the time, but kids are so god damn unpredictable and nonsensical that it can be fascinating just to watch how they fill the hours in a day.
Yes, they are fucking stressful and annoying and illogical a decent amount of the time, especially when you're trying to maintain some semblance of a romantic relationship in the midst of it all. Part of being in this relationship is knowing that I cannot, and never should be, her top priority. Her time, energy, and even emotional investment must belong first and foremost to those children. But kids can also brighten your day, put a grin on your face, or remind you how transparently grateful and sincere young children can be. And I see what they bring to my girlfriend's life. Before I met them, I couldn't picture her in a motherly role. I don't feel that way anymore, and I know that life for her would cease to have a lot of meaning if they were suddenly not there. That she was never married and probably never will be doesn't inexplicably make her less of a doting mother.
It's been a bizarre year, and truthfully, I don't know how strong the legs on the relationship are at this point. No longer being in the kids' lives would likely be as big of an adjustment for me as no longer being in the relationship. It's often said you should take away something from an expired relationship. I guess in this instance, it would be that my outlook on having children isn't what it was a couple of years ago. I can understand why someone wouldn't want to have children, and as I said, I don't think it's for everyone, regardless of what we're conditioned to think. I just don't think I'm one of those people, anymore.
That's my post for this whole ridiculous kids vs. animals "debate."
Yes, they are fucking stressful and annoying and illogical a decent amount of the time, especially when you're trying to maintain some semblance of a romantic relationship in the midst of it all. Part of being in this relationship is knowing that I cannot, and never should be, her top priority.
See, this sounds like the best thing ever to me. Like the kids suck away all the crazy and pettiness and jealousy etc.
Breakdown: 1/4 zip is bad. It is always bad. Benesyed has absolutely no idea what he's talking about, so don't let him bolster your ego. They speak to everything that's wrong with menswear.
please do not take the following as dismissive, it really is not meant to be. a lot of this really may boil down to an MC centric approach, which i have, versus a SWD centric approach. i posted the fit in MC as well, and it was pretty well received there. i probably should not have posted it here, but if ever there was a day for it, it was today.
i can appreciate that point of view, but i do not share it. i do not think 1/4 zips are by definition bad, and furthermore, i have always liked them. i like the high neck and i like the look. i have a similar sweater with a button up neck that garnered some love, and essentially its the same concept at the 1/4 zip regarding look and fit imo.
More importantly, however:
The color - I find it tacky, gaudy. It's too bright for such a staid item, and gives you a "dressed by your mother" look.
it was a bright purple, and yes, i guess it could be called gaudy, but i like it. i like purple. i have other items with purple, and i happily wear them all. i dont think it gives me a "dressed by mom" look, but if it does, so be it. i still like it.
The hemline - the ribbing is not doing you any favors. Combined with the trousers (which appear to have a heavy tape - lovely color on those, and the shoes, by the way), it's really emphasizing your midsection. Now, I'm not into body-shaming or anything like that, but this isn't a good look. Those chunky fisherman knits look best (IMO) when they're sort of slouchy and oversized, not pulled tight across your front. The quarter zip doesn't help - it's just emphasizing the bottom of the V, where your midsection begins. The heavy taper from armhole to cuff also makes it worse - like you're a flailing disco eggplant.
firstly, thanks for the compliments on the pants and shoes.
i really do think a lot of these points you make are exaggerated by the angle of the pic. i dont think the arms give off that rather descriptive eggplant vibe you suggested, nor do i think that my fat gut is as fat and gutty as it apparently seemed in the pic. but then again, anytime anyone says, no no its the angle!! its usually read as LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!!! KOP OUT!!!! and if that is how its taken, oh well.
going back to the MC thing, i have a very hard time wearing looser oversized items. i feel like a homeless person or a child in their fathers clothing. i like a more tailored fitted look, and while that may not always be ideal for my present body shape (i was not always an elephant) its how i feel more comfortable when i see myself.
I would suggest an unribbed sweater - I'm sure you've seen pictures of the SNS Herning Stark floating around on the forum, and I think that a navy one would really look great with this fit.
i would like an SNS herning stark very VERY badly, but they are pricey, and now is not a great time, i hope to have one by next F/W season. and hopefully, when i do, it will make for a great fit.
Originally Posted by rennavate
I want to see the fit that this critique is for, but you took down the photo, stitches. RE-UP!
its found elsewhere, with a shout-out to synth, if you really want to see it. please keep it there.
long story short, i still do like like the fit, and its just for everyone. i hope i dont come of as poo-poo'ing anything, i appreciate the time synth took to share his feedback. Edited by in stitches - 2/11/13 at 3:38pm