I actually like the sweater, but I agree with Teger's assessment in general that you often go a bit overboard. Not all of your clothing has to have a pattern, distressing, shiny fabric, treatments, asymmetrical necklines, etc.
maybe its in the context of the poster, but it just screams express style overdesign. like it was lifted from a gq article about how to wear new motorcycle culture influenced trends in a conservative office environment to be the envy fo all your office drone peers
you also talk about you want to dress yohji, but yohji seems the antithesis of your style -- his stuff is classic menswear with a slight twist, but in a very dark, simplistic color palate to the point that at a first glance it looks extremely basic/standard, and only after repeated close viewing do you see the fabrication and the design details. also it seems the best yohji fits either rely on silhouette (thus no tacky detailing), or have one detailed item and everything else very simplistic.