Hahaha ok tbh first thing I thought when I saw this was trying to imagine your interaction with the barista or cashier
"Hello, could I please get a doppio?"
"Get out of here, street rat! Manager, another vagrant looking for handouts!"
"But...But these clothes are likely worth more than your car!"
"This one's a real headcase, someone get him out of here quick before he scares away the customers!"
"I'm...I'm an extra for the sequel to The Road! I swear!"