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Dating Scene- What are the do's and dont's on the first date? - Page 4

post #46 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fabienne
Comment on the whole thread: Thank goodness for people's individuality.
Although we are always taught a few things about ladies, including:

1. They don't know what they want, so it's useless trying to find out yourself.

2. Trying to actually understand a lady is impossible, just be satisfied with marriage.

Yet, it's still interesting to know what individual ladies feel they want, even if most of the time it is storybook romance, which will all know very few of them actually fall for. Heaven forbid a lady who solicits a men's style board might come up with something different.

I don't mean to take such an idiosyncratic, chauvinist and odious tone, so please don't take offence.
post #47 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackberry
I am new to this forum. I have been reading it alot and its really worth it. So to the point. I am 20 m college student. I meet plenty of girls and I am easy going. I have no problem striking conversations and have no problem asking them out. Now, the part that comes after you have asked the girl out for a movie or dinner or to your place to watch soccer matches etc. I dont really know what to do or say. I have had almost 4 dates in the past 3 months and I havn't been able to getr anywhere. I can't say that I am shy because I have no problem asking them out. But, what do you really do when you go out. Most of the times they have conversations that dont interest me or I have no clue what they are talking about. Any recommendations. How do I make my first move? Do I wait for her? what could be the possible first move? HELP

first identify what you want.

I'm gonna focus on your questions about what to do & what to say on dates.

First a question: do you have an identity? Can you relate it to someone clearly in a couple of sentences? If so then you should have no problem with things to do or say. If not, you need to define your identity after you figure out what it is you want.

anyways. what to do: something unique that she probably hasn't done on a first date before. use your imagination, try to tie it to your identity. if you like animals, then take her to the zoo. If you like music go to a record store like in high fidelity, tell her a fascinating story about the circumstances around a classic record (here's a good one - fleetwood mac "rumors") and then buy it for her. Its a small token thing and she will probably like the music. Don't get too nerdy on the story though, keep it concise, fun, fascinating.

now, what to say: you are not going to want her to do too much of the talking, in fact you will probably want to do more than her, but not TOO much more. why? to show that you have value, you're going to be talking about some cool, fun things. It's a delicate balance though. You don't want to never stop talking cause that sends the wrong message. You'll have to calibrate. You also want her to do some so that you can be sure you're really interested. I assume you asked her out cause you're attracted to her looks, but you should also talk about her to see if you're attracted to her personality too. Same thing applies as with the venue: you want to talk about unique things she probably hasn't talked about before.

an ideal ration would be you doing 60% of the talking, her 40%. Make sure you lead the conversation.

lastly, you're in college, so this really shouldn't be too hard. Go out to a bar, have some drinks, bing bang boom. That is if you're just looking for a good time. If you want something deeper there's better ways to go about it, but you need to decide what you want first.
post #48 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bouji
Although we are always taught a few things about ladies, including:

1. They don't know what they want, so it's useless trying to find out yourself.

2. Trying to actually understand a lady is impossible, just be satisfied with marriage.

Yet, it's still interesting to know what individual ladies feel they want, even if most of the time it is storybook romance, which will all know very few of them actually fall for. Heaven forbid a lady who solicits a men's style board might come up with something different.

I don't mean to take such an idiosyncratic, chauvinist and odious tone, so please don't take offence.

I'm not a lady.
post #49 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fabienne
I'm not a lady.

viellicht eine Frau?
post #50 of 66
Perhaps femme is the word.
post #51 of 66
...'cause I'm a wooooooman: Enjoli.

Everything you need to know about scoring can be learned from Glengarry Glen Ross:

Quote:
A-I-D-A. Attention, Interest, Decision, Action.

Attention: Do I have you attention?

Interest: Are you interested? I know you are, because it's fuck or walk. You close or you hit the bricks.

Decision: Have you made your decision for Christ?

And Action.

Quote:
A-B-C.

A: Always

B: Be

C: Closing.

Always be closing. Always... be closing.


Whereas most of what you need to know about women can be learned by shutting your mouth and opening your ears. But be sure to ignore most of what guys will tell you.
post #52 of 66
Go and do likewise! A-I-D-A!! Get mad! You sons of bitches! Get mad!! You know what it takes to succeed in the dating scene?
post #53 of 66
this thread is hilarious.
post #54 of 66
"oh what a big man you are! let me buy you a pack of gum, teach you how to chew it."

god damn i love that play.
post #55 of 66
Oh, what the hell:

I got laid more than you did last year. I fucked 50 women last year. How many did you fuck? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids. You wanna fuck her? - close! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get at a club? You don't like it, leave.

Jon.
post #56 of 66
I like it the Internet dating.
post #57 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by imageWIS
Oh, what the hell:

I got laid more than you did last year. I fucked 50 women last year. How many did you fuck? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids. You wanna fuck her? - close! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get at a club? You don't like it, leave.

Jon.

We should re-write the whole movie. Including the threesome with Mr. & Mrs. Nyborg.
post #58 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by Margaret
We should re-write the whole movie. Including the threesome with Mr. & Mrs. Nyborg.

I'm on the phone and I can't stop laughing...

Jon.
post #59 of 66
The only thing I'm gonna say is that before you give-up and go back to your books, remember that you're only gonna get better with women by engaging in a lot of practice, even if they are only dry-runs

Even once you get good, don't expect results every time because women's brains are so scrambled that half the time not even they know what they want.

I'm curious though, what do they talk about that really has you clueless?
post #60 of 66
No BS.

But I can tell you that if you are out for some faster love:

1. Be polite and a gentleman
2. Open the car door, have non roses, flowers on the seat, fasten her in with a sly smile
3. be well groomed,dress for theoccassion, smell good commonsense
4. be in excellent physical shape
5. be good looking already
6. compliment hert wardroble and hairas women obesses about hair its universal.
7. glance at her body but don't hold the look
8. Have a convertible perferable sport and foreign made unless you are in the sticks
9. take her home after picking her up for a drink
10. make the drink champagne and that you are celebrating your 1st date
(50% of the time I've never even left my apartment for the dinner reservartion if the conversation is good and it leads to something private

Definitly drink alcohol as soon as possible as it loosens you both up and let's down inhibitions.

11. speak of common passions, interests stay on what you have in common, music, food, etc.
12. nothing is 100% as woman are so hot/cold, emotional, torn up over recent events,past relationships, etc. it may not be you at all.

I've found women to love absense, drama, etc. and biceps/chest, shoulder and a fit bod.

A cool Car
A cool Wardrobe--cashmere,velvet, and high end linen sportcoats can do you wonders.
polite/gentleman
be well groomed
be a bit mysterious and don't let alot of personal info out
Drink alcohol, always order a bottle of wine/champagne always never by the glass

AND MOST IMPORTANT AND BASICALLY ALONG THE LINE OF WHAT IamMatt is asking:
Have a plan to go somewhere after dinner, but always ask if they would like to be low key and "rent a movie" essentially this is code for "do you want to get physical right now" PS I've never watched more that 15 minutes of any rented movie. NEVER. If they say yes, which alot do, that means they are totally into you. Always ask this, always.

Hire your maid to come in the day of and your bed should be a king /queen sized luxurious but not tacky love inviting place.
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