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Dating Scene- What are the do's and dont's on the first date? - Page 3

post #31 of 66
whatever you do, be perfect.

women don't settle for anything less.
post #32 of 66
If you want to get laid, act like you are better than her. It works. I promise.
post #33 of 66
I was far from being a stud, but as I am also way down on the atractiveness tree, I was starting out with a handicap, so my adivce might have some value.

1. consider the first 2 dates sales calls - you are selling yourself to her. the fact that you asked her out shows that you have some interest, and your "job" is to build her interest. if you find, suring this time, or after, that you are less interested than you thought you would be, cut loose, but for the first 2 dates act like you are firmly convinced that you are interested in her.

2. objectivly wiegh what flatters you, in terms of dress, and what shows you the way you want her to percieve you. you may love to wear suits, but you are a little square and dry and you don't want her to percieve you as such, so don't wear suits, for instance. put together a "dating uniform" the best possible outfit for dates, for different types of dates. If you look really good in casual day clothes, try to set up first dates for lunch or afternoon activities, if you look great in a suit, set up dates for dinner in nice resteraunts.

3. put effort into it - reservation, nice place, wine, etc. don't scrimp

4. think about what the message you want to put across is - for instance "funny, successful guy, muscular, well traveled, carring". build up 5 or more short stories that fit each of those messages, each a little funny, none of them showing you off too clearly, or that will be a turn off, each about 2 or 3 minutes long. figure out how to fit them into conversations - so, for instance, you have 5 stories about what a sensitive guy you are, and each one has 5 diffirent ways to introduce it into a conversation, then if any one of 25 different subjects or terms is raised, you can get that message across. your job is to get those 4 or 5 messages across, while listening to her tell about herself and looking like you are riveted by her story. you want her to get home and say "my first thought was that he was a little wierd, pompous, stocky, boring and cold, but now I know that he is really funny, successful, muscular, well traveled and caring, and, on top of that, he is such a great listener"
post #34 of 66
Dude!!! College is NOT for dating!!! Jeez man, you cant get laid in college? COLLEGE? Look, first off, take the pussy off the pedestal. Stop being such a wuss.....ever hear that Bible verse "ask and it shall be given to you"? Just ask, better yet just say...."hey, lets go make out in my room"! This is the problem with America now...wuss kids who are so used to Nintendo and Playstation that they cant function socially! I am not knocking you but damn, college is like fishing in a stocked pond of eager fish just WAITING TO GET THE WORM!!! Tell ya what....go get a book called "How to Succeed with Women". The authors are Louis and Copeland. Just start there!
post #35 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by globetrotter
I was far from being a stud, but as I am also way down on the atractiveness tree, I was starting out with a handicap, so my adivce might have some value.

1. consider the first 2 dates sales calls - you are selling yourself to her. the fact that you asked her out shows that you have some interest, and your "job" is to build her interest. if you find, suring this time, or after, that you are less interested than you thought you would be, cut loose, but for the first 2 dates act like you are firmly convinced that you are interested in her.

2. objectivly wiegh what flatters you, in terms of dress, and what shows you the way you want her to percieve you. you may love to wear suits, but you are a little square and dry and you don't want her to percieve you as such, so don't wear suits, for instance. put together a "dating uniform" the best possible outfit for dates, for different types of dates. If you look really good in casual day clothes, try to set up first dates for lunch or afternoon activities, if you look great in a suit, set up dates for dinner in nice resteraunts.

3. put effort into it - reservation, nice place, wine, etc. don't scrimp

4. think about what the message you want to put across is - for instance "funny, successful guy, muscular, well traveled, carring". build up 5 or more short stories that fit each of those messages, each a little funny, none of them showing you off too clearly, or that will be a turn off, each about 2 or 3 minutes long. figure out how to fit them into conversations - so, for instance, you have 5 stories about what a sensitive guy you are, and each one has 5 diffirent ways to introduce it into a conversation, then if any one of 25 different subjects or terms is raised, you can get that message across. your job is to get those 4 or 5 messages across, while listening to her tell about herself and looking like you are riveted by her story. you want her to get home and say "my first thought was that he was a little wierd, pompous, stocky, boring and cold, but now I know that he is really funny, successful, muscular, well traveled and caring, and, on top of that, he is such a great listener"

I can see why this guy is not a stud..you are in college!! You are supposed to be broke. Dont spend Mommy's care package on a date with some broad so you can eat ramen noodles for a month. All of this is B*LLSH*T!!!! You are in the best years of your life.....the years where you are finding yourself and seeing how you fit in the world. Guess what? YOUR FEMALE COUNTERPARTS ARE TO!!!! Do you know what I did in college? Hell, I could get arrested for telling you!!!! We did some crazy sh*t!! And I didnt stop at college. So come on. Get that book and read it. Dont listen to people who wanna turn you into future tricks. Get comfortable in your own skin and I swear people will be comfortable with you!!!!
post #36 of 66
My idea of a perfect date:

-Invite for coffee
-Go to my place to watch a DVD I know girls like
-Sit on futon/bed, watch said DVD
-Arm around her, cuddle, smell hair, kiss neck
-Check mate.
post #37 of 66
Most of the advice in this thread is extreme - either it's too passive/pedestal or it's too macho/misogynistic. Try a middle ground. A woman likes some diverse traits in a man. You can be aggressive at times and at other times, sweet.

BTW, men like diverse women too. Too much predictability is fatal.
post #38 of 66
So that I can have them on hand in my collection what is a movie or two that "girls like"? Also, is the movie to lure them back to your place or to loosen them up and put them in a good mood for when you lower the boom?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MetroStyles
My idea of a perfect date:

-Invite for coffee
-Go to my place to watch a DVD I know girls like
-Sit on futon/bed, watch said DVD
-Arm around her, cuddle, smell hair, kiss neck
-Check mate.
post #39 of 66
Dirty Dancing works.
post #40 of 66
"4. At the end of the date: thank her for the good time (even if you think it sucked) give her no more than a kiss on the cheek and (if true) tell her that you hope you can do it again (the date, not the kiss). Do not invite her back to your place unless she is foaming at the mouth for it."

The above unless shes ultrauptight and / or afraid of being touched NEVER do this. Kiss well. But make sure you kiss on the first date. (kiss well but don't start foreplay! draw the line)

otherwise you will be branded as 'nice guy' or a non-sexual guy. Who women are not interested in for anything other than money usually.

You have no problem getting dates my self and alot of my friends had this problem before. On dates I found it was because we were being polite and not expressing and subcommunicating our sexual desires. Women want sex just as much as men, they just don't want to be seen as a slut, so men have to do the work. "oh it just happened" or "he got his way with me" (note his way not hers!) women always overtly pretend they are not that interested in sex but covertly are just as interested in getting good sex as men are.

Be sexual (subcommunicate)
Control the frame of conversation, its her chasing you not you chasing her.
Tease (but make sure its funny and warm)
post #41 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by modsquad
So that I can have them on hand in my collection what is a movie or two that "girls like"? Also, is the movie to lure them back to your place or to loosen them up and put them in a good mood for when you lower the boom?

To be honest, I just put in a light stupid comedy that she will not mind ignoring. I've used Mallrats multiple times. The movie does not matter, just don't make it some horror flick or super fast action. Something cheesy and funny always works.

And the best part is, if she doesn't want to hook up with you, well you get to watch a movie with a chick for free which is a lot better than going out on a date and paying money.
post #42 of 66
post #43 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by rdawson808
Here's my advice as a 30-something who is about to get married (so I must have done something right):

1. If certain about her interest take her out for dinner. Make reservations, Pick them up, open her door, hold her chair; do all the things you should.

2. If you are a little less sure about how interested she is, suggest lunch. It is far less of a commitment. Do same as above (reservations only if needed).

3. On the date: make sure you have educated yourself. What is it that women talk about that doesn't interest you or you don't know anything about? Learn something about the things you "don't have a clue about". If you just aren't interested in what they're talking about, take it as a sign you aren't a good match. Do not talk about politics or religion unless you are 100% certain you will agree 100% with her.

Now, what is it you try to talk to them about? Obviously it should be what interests you. But you always have to compromise. And she should too. Here come the gross stereotypes: So if you are obsessed with Cricket but she isn't, drop it. If she is obsessed with marine biology and you aren't, then she should drop it too. Try to find common ground.

4. At the end of the date: thank her for the good time (even if you think it sucked) give her no more than a kiss on the cheek and (if true) tell her that you hope you can do it again (the date, not the kiss). Do not invite her back to your place unless she is foaming at the mouth for it.

5. Do not ask her to your place to watch football. I'm engaged and I don't ask my fiancee to watch the world cup or F1 racing with me. That she showed interest in/tried to learn about F1 was a sign that she cared for me. Really, for a first date, asking her to your place is never a good idea imo.


Hmmm, can't think of anything else. I'm dying to know what it is they are talking about on your dates. You're the age of my students and I'm always interested in what "the kids" are into these days.

bob
Some women really like F1 and soccer. I once met one who knew as much if not more about F1 than I do.
post #44 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by NeoJeo
The above unless shes ultrauptight and / or afraid of being touched NEVER do this. Kiss well. But make sure you kiss on the first date. (kiss well but don't start foreplay! draw the line)

otherwise you will be branded as 'nice guy' or a non-sexual guy. Who women are not interested in for anything other than money usually.

Or you could be branded as "that guy who didn't push himself on me at our first date, unlike every other jerk I've gone out with." It has never failed me to be a gentleman and set myself apart from the rest of you louts who only care about getting in a woman's pants. Heaven forbid, you may gain her respect, meet someone you actually like and care about, and get laid to boot.

bob
post #45 of 66
Comment on the whole thread: Thank goodness for people's individuality.
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