Aww come on I'm just having a little fun. Honestly, speaking as someone who hires, there's nothing special I'm looking for in a cover letter, and I don't think any one catches my eye more than another. My advice to you is the following: - RULE #1: Do not fuck up anything. No grammar mistakes, no spelling errors, no bad punctuation. This is the biggest thing. If you screw up something in your cover letter, it says such awful things about your conscientiousness and attention to detail that it will be tough to recover from. A cover letter's chief importance is that it is a writing sample, so get it right. - Despite what others say, keep it short and to the point. Be polite, but direct, and edit it down as much as possible without making it curt. Three paragraphs is all you need. P1: Who I am, what I'm looking for. P2: What I've done, accomplishment highlights. P3: Thanks for your consideration. - Use action words that highlight real accomplishments. Everyone else is saying they are self-starters, they work hard, etc etc etc blah blah blah. We gloss over this crap. We're reading a dozen of these in between meetings while eating a sandwich. Too much boilerplate crap and we're on to the next paragraph. But if you say something like "I saved my company $120,000 by doing x, y, and z" and it's credible and you can back it up in an interview, that's meaningful. A cover letter is not going to win you the job. I typically don't think it wins you an interview even. It's more about not letting it hurt your chances than it is about building your chances. Baseball analogy: it's like bunting. It's a fundamental, you gotta get it right, everyone notices when someone pops up a bunt and fails to get the runner over, but nobody's getting a fat contract to lay rollers down the 3rd base line. This is my experience, anyways. Unfortunately, everyone and every company is different, so they may have different advice.