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when a girl says... - Page 2

post #16 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by oman
slut, what's a slut anyway? it's just a word that means "person who has sex with multiple partners" and has very negative connotation

and connotation means nothing. being a slut is a non-issue. sex is fun, nobody denies that. don't be a prude

also: fuck what is "acceptable in modern society", it doesn't mean anything. you're young. you ARE modern society. what you choose to do today determines what will be acceptable in the "modern society" of tomorrow.

I am with O/F on this, Oman. Not a question of prudishness.
post #17 of 46
i agree insofar as what he said doesn't imply he's a prude, and i should not have called him that - sorry, oddlyfamiliar

but the fact remains that sex is good
post #18 of 46
There is a difference between a "slut" and a person who knows what they want.
post #19 of 46
Pay for sex. And screen beforehand.
post #20 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by LabelKing
Pay for sex. And screen beforehand.

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.



But isn't any sort of **dating/going to bars or clubs** these days a form of prostitution?
post #21 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by VersaceMan
But isn't any sort of **dating/going to bars or clubs** these days a form of prostitution?

I've heard this argument before, not that I'm against prostitution but buying someone a couple of drinks and feigning interest is not the same as flat out paying for sex.
post #22 of 46
It's no longer a common tradition in Hawaii, but women wear a flower on their ear - and wearing it on the right side signifies they're available. A young lady, flower on the right, smiles at you... means it's your chance to make a move

I think the bar/club scene is similar. Anyone who's there... is there for the same reason. As long as it's mutual, then it's not prostitution. Or maybe it's mutual prostitution?
post #23 of 46
OF, unlike some others I see where you're coming from. My experience and what I've noticed from others around me is that - assuming precautions are taken and consequences are entirely emotional, etc. - if a relationship doesn't commence before bodily fluids comingle, then it never will. That is to say that there's a "friends with benefits zone" just as there's a "friend zone." The "three dates before the sack" rule still applies pretty well. So your chance of having a meaningful relationship with this particular woman is, um, screwed.
post #24 of 46
Thread Starter 
Oman, I am far from prude. I've been called a slut so many times it is not even funny. One of the biggest sluts in school called me one. It's just that you can get to the point where you want something real, not just sex. Can you honestly say you've never wanted someone there for you? I know I have, and if that makes me lame then I don't give a fuck. I know what I want. Gladwell, you are saying that because I have already slept with her before asking her out probably means we will never be anything more than friends with benefeits? That sucks.
post #25 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by keal
It's no longer a common tradition in Hawaii, but women wear a flower on their ear - and wearing it on the right side signifies they're available. A young lady, flower on the right, smiles at you... means it's your chance to make a move

I think the bar/club scene is similar. Anyone who's there... is there for the same reason. As long as it's mutual, then it's not prostitution. Or maybe it's mutual prostitution?
Sort of like color-coded back-pocket handkerchiefs for gentlemen in San Francisco?

Although it bears more resemblance to the green carnation .
post #26 of 46
Girls say shit like that all the time. Sometimes they mean it, sometimes they're scared and sometimes - who knows. Chicks like to flap their gums.

If you're really serious, the only way you're going to find out is to do something about it - i.e. tell her what you want. Be prepared for the worst case but otherwise, get on with your life. Because if you want a relationship and this girl doesn't, you're just wasting your time.
post #27 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oddly Familiar
Oman, I am far from prude. I've been called a slut so many times it is not even funny. One of the biggest sluts in school called me one. It's just that you can get to the point where you want something real, not just sex. Can you honestly say you've never wanted someone there for you? I know I have, and if that makes me lame then I don't give a fuck. I know what I want.
man, who doesn't want what you want? everyone wants a girl who cares, everyone wants to find the right person

but the thing is, there's a lot of people in the world. any one of them could be the right person. the chances are, there is more than one. so you're gonna have to go through a lotta them to find one whom you like.

besides, girls are in it for something too. i realize it's hard to accept, but years of conditioning from all those girly-mags, and chick-flicks, and a ton of other meaningless capitalist-distributed bullshit have indoctrinated them to adore a certain "type" of man. if you can find a girl cool enough to ignore those expectations, that's awesome - KEEP her. but you've indicated that this girl is disinterested, so she does not seem to be that kind of girl. you're probably wasting your time here

all i'm saying is, keep in mind that there's no upper limit (and no lower limit, apart from zero) to the number of girls you can pursue at any given time. also, going out with lots of girls makes you seem ineligible, and therefore more attractive to any girl who might have just decided to leave you on the wayside (e.g. the girl currently in question)
post #28 of 46
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by countdemoney
Girls say shit like that all the time. Sometimes they mean it, sometimes they're scared and sometimes - who knows. Chicks like to flap their gums.

If you're really serious, the only way you're going to find out is to do something about it - i.e. tell her what you want. Be prepared for the worst case but otherwise, get on with your life. Because if you want a relationship and this girl doesn't, you're just wasting your time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by oman
man, who doesn't want what you want? everyone wants a girl who cares, everyone wants to find the right person

but the thing is, there's a lot of people in the world. any one of them could be the right person. the chances are, there is more than one. so you're gonna have to go through a lotta them to find one whom you like.

besides, girls are in it for something too. i realize it's hard to accept, but years of conditioning from all those girly-mags, and chick-flicks, and a ton of other meaningless capitalist-distributed bullshit have indoctrinated them to adore a certain "type" of man. if you can find a girl cool enough to ignore those expectations, that's awesome - KEEP her. but you've indicated that this girl is disinterested, so she does not seem to be that kind of girl. you're probably wasting your time here

all i'm saying is, keep in mind that there's no upper limit (and no lower limit, apart from zero) to the number of girls you can pursue at any given time. also, going out with lots of girls makes you seem ineligible, and therefore more attractive to any girl who might have just decided to leave you on the wayside (e.g. the girl currently in question)

Thank you. Those are the types of responses I was looking for.
post #29 of 46
In love and lust, answers fluctuate until certainty, one day, settles in. Don't despair. It sounds like you know what you want, stick to it.
post #30 of 46
Pursue all the things you want to do in life that makes you happy. Fill in your spare time with hobbies and interests. Wear clothes you like, and so on.... live like you're not looking for a woman, and really enjoy being yourself. Then all the ladies will pay attention to you. "Check out that guy, he's got his act together!" When it rains, it pours EDIT: To be on topic, I would sit down with the lady in question and just be blunt. Say I think she's attractive and I like her just the way she is... can we move forward, yadda yadda. That's how I connected with my girlfriend
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