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when a girl says...

post #1 of 46
Thread Starter 
Just like so many of my threads, this one is also about a girl. This one I really like. I'm not sure why, but I do. And I'm pretty certain she feels the same about me. She calls me wanting to "talk", but I never answer the phone, and we make it a point to see eachother every day. So here's my real question: when a girl says "She isn't looking for a relationship", should I just give up on her and move on, or is she actually saying she isn't looking for a relationship UNLESS the right guy comes along? I'm sure all of you have approached this situation before, but I would also love it if a chick forum member replied. You know, to get the full effect. I think we used to have one, right?
post #2 of 46
A guy's view, both opinion and personal experience:

When a woman says she isn't looking for a relationship, she actually means that she isn't looking for a relationship unless the right guy comes along. If she tells you that she isn't looking for a relationship, then you're not that right guy.

Now, if you're a convincing sort of person, you could take it as a challenge.
post #3 of 46
Thread Starter 
She never told it to me, but she told me that when she was talking about my friend Justin who likes her. If she had told me that, she's lucky I like a challenge.
post #4 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oddly Familiar
Just like so many of my threads, this one is also about a girl. This one I really like. I'm not sure why, but I do. And I'm pretty certain she feels the same about me. She calls me wanting to "talk", but I never answer the phone, and we make it a point to see eachother every day. So here's my real question: when a girl says "She isn't looking for a relationship", should I just give up on her and move on, or is she actually saying she isn't looking for a relationship UNLESS the right guy comes along? I'm sure all of you have approached this situation before, but I would also love it if a chick forum member replied. You know, to get the full effect. I think we used to have one, right?

I believe this exact topic was covered at the beginning of the movie "Hitch", with Will Smith.
post #5 of 46
Sounds like it could be a nice friends-wif-benefits situation to me...
post #6 of 46
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by VersaceMan
Sounds like it could be a nice friends-wif-benefits situation to me...

That's what it is now... I want something real though.
post #7 of 46
I will never understand this generation. OF - let me get this straight, there is a girl you like, you are friendly with her, and you are sleeping with her, but you are only friends with benifits, and you want more, and she has told a friend of yours that she is not interested in a relationship yet. does that sum it up?


in my day, if I was sleeping with her, hell, I didn't really care about anything else. what is the problem with that?



I would try to give you advice, but I think all collective experience of mankind in terms of relationships become obsolete when "friends with benifits" came around.
post #8 of 46
We're "equal" these days; men are finding it more socially acceptable to be emotionally needy.
post #9 of 46
I like friends with benefits myself.
post #10 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Film_Noir_Buff
I like friends with benefits myself.


Me too - that's about all I've had for the past two or three years now.

I find they can be just as emotionally satisfying as a 'real' relationship, with a lot less pressure. For me they usually only last about 2-3 weeks and then we drift apart for some reason or another.

Granted, I'm not hooking up with my long-term friends - I've made that mistake once or twice and it ruined the friendship, made it very awkward. A better term for me would be 'aquaintances with benefits'.
post #11 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Film_Noir_Buff
I like friends with benefits myself.


what's there not to like? I just wish this kind of thing was common when I was younger.
post #12 of 46
Thread Starter 
I would rather care about the girl that I am having sex with than just have sex with her just because I can. I would rather have sex with only the people I really care about rather than every girl I get the chance to sleep with. I actually thought that was more acceptable in modern society than to be a slut. I guess I was wrong, huh?
post #13 of 46
I got a mp3 of a self-declared pimp's radio show giving advice regarding the opposite sex. I know I am going to catch hell for saying this here, but black guys I've noticed are really smooth and lucky with women. I accept him as an authority on the matter without hesitation. I have gotten through about 1/4 of the show and he has some good information so far. Such as, "buy the bitch a cubic zirconia....when yall break up she is going to hock that diamond so she can afford to reinvent herself for the next man!" Also, he gave good advice regarding first dates, take her to the place YOU want, not her. That way, it is on your familiar ground, putting you in control of the situation immediately. Also, he emphatically advises against wracking your brain trying to figure out what the woman wants...apparently you'll have better luck only caring about yourself! I plan on trying some of these tips out (except the cubic zirconia thing, don't plan on getting to the point of buying a ring), and report back to yall.

BTW the name of the show is called "Rules of the Pussy Game"
post #14 of 46
Stick with the friends-with-benefits status.
post #15 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oddly Familiar
I would rather care about the girl that I am having sex with than just have sex with her just because I can. I would rather have sex with only the people I really care about rather than every girl I get the chance to sleep with. I actually thought that was more acceptable in modern society than to be a slut. I guess I was wrong, huh?
slut, what's a slut anyway? it's just a word that means "person who has sex with multiple partners" and has very negative connotation

and connotation means nothing. being a slut is a non-issue. sex is fun, nobody denies that. don't be a prude

also: fuck what is "acceptable in modern society", it doesn't mean anything. you're young. you are ULTRAmodern society. what you choose to do today determines what will be acceptable in the "modern society" of tomorrow.
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