My all time favorite and least favorite of my wife is the animated series (USA network?) "Duckman". Wondeful cultural references and biting criticisms of US society. Now, given that about five people watched the series when it ran, I'll gladly give you guys some insights and quotes
Jason Alexander .... Eric Duckman (voice)
Gregg Berger .... Cornfed Pig (voice)
Elizabeth Daily .... Mambo (as E.G. Daily)
Nancy Travis .... Bernice/Beverly/Beatrice (voice)
Dweezil Zappa .... Ajax (voice)
Plot summary: Duckman isn't your average suave, sophisticated private eye. In fact, he's rude, ignorant, slovenly, and hasn't had a date in years. With the help of his infinitely more capable sidekick, Cornfed, Duckman manages to solve enough cases to cover his alimony payments and cable TV bills.
Ajax: He was killed when a group of hungry nuns went running towards the snack booth. He was pushed into the cotton candy machine and he got mutilated in the whirling batter of spun sugar.
Bernice: Another senseless religious confection death
Cornfed Pig: You're aware that while it affords one the momentary illusion of satisfaction, the spewing of bile is never a permanent solution.
Cornfed Pig: I haven't felt tension like that since I got stuck in an elevator with Pat Buchanan and RuPaul.
Eric Duckman: How are you, my dear? I hope that life has treated you better than time has.
Bernice: Something funny's going on here.
Eric Duckman: It's about time. I'm getting sick of all the social commentary
Man: How are things on your end?
Eric Duckman: Fine since the sores healed.
Eric Duckman: Well, nice knowing you, son. Not like I don't love you or anything, but you know how people are. They'll assume that sort of thing runs in the family, and frankly I got a tough enough time picking up chicks to begin with. So good luck, be careful, and maybe we'll see you on TV sometime lip-synching Over The Rainbow at one of those Pride parades.
Cornfed: From the moment she opened her mouth I wanted to sublet her tongue, move into her larynx, and re-do the upper incisors in mauve. Well, not exactly mauve, but mauvish.
Duckman: Hey cantino boy. I need a tall glass of water. My sister-in-law and her birthday suit just gave me a libidoectomy.
Duckman has spilled something on his chest causing a stain that looks like a Rorschach inkblot]
Duckman: Well now look what you made me do! I gotta go in there with a picture of me and Vanna White frolicking naked with a tribe of pygmies on my chest!
Cornfed: Hmm. Looks like synchronized swimmers crocheting mittens in a pool filled with truffles to me.
Dr. Susan Fox: Cornfed, I'm sensing that you have "issues".
Cornfed: Oh, I have issues all right. Like that time he made me miss my mother's funeral so he could carterize his lucky goiter or that time he got drunk and gave my phone number out to all of those prostitutes or that time he sold all of my furniture to buy those Who's The Boss comemorative plates.
Duckman: They were supposed to triple in value. DAMN YOU TO HELL TONY DANZA!
Dr. Susan Fox: How does that make you feel, Duckman?
Duckman: Like a bottle of open spit.
Cornfed: You and what United States Peacekeeping force?
Ajax: I found it a provocative piece of stagecraft, marred only by the author's over-weening pretense towards psychological insight. But the violence was keen.
Duckman: Boo-freaking-hoo. Like I am supposed to take women and how they feel seriously? You ought to be accepted for your minds but you throw a hissy fit royalÃ© if someone isn't saying you look great 30 hours a day. You say you want a nice guy but you only give it up to the creeps. You get to stay home, not go to war, live longer, and have sex whenever you want! So remind me again what exact is there to complain about!
Duckman: I can't believe they shared their girlfriends with us, Corny. I just spent the night with the sexiest, most insatiable, voluptuous, adventurous, least-inhibited woman I've ever met. If she didn't suddenly get a headache... woo hoo. there's no telling what wild and tawdry escapades we might have experienced. How was your night?
Cornfed: Like yours... minus the headache.
Cornfed: Once again, the U.S. is spending millions to oust a puppet they spent millions to get into office. They'll spend more millions on the coverup to hide having spent those millions and even more millions to discredit members of the media who report otherwise. It's a good thing they print their own money.
Duckman: If words were cherry stems, my tongue would be in Sherilyn Fenn's mouth
Eric Duckman: Remember kids, when you get to prison attach yourself to the biggest, toughest, meanest looking goon you can find. You don't wanna wind up as just anyone's bitch
Mambo: Does a high ranking religious figure evacuate his bowels in a wooded area?
Bernice: You spent the last six days watching that video tape where she learns what all her vacuum attachments are for.
Sherry: You said you erased that.
Cornfed: Erased, ran off thousands of copies... it's such a fine line.