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Do You Stay Friends With Your Ex ?

post #1 of 21
1/7/10 at 6:23pm
Thread Starter 
I should say Exes I mean from serious relationships I've never been able to do it.
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post #2 of 21
1/7/10 at 6:29pm
Sometimes. I actually keep up a bit with one from high school.

Then there's one I used to work with, but that's a long, complicated story about how I thought we wuz just pals...but her recent FB messages to me mention how she cherishes our special times together.
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post #3 of 21
1/7/10 at 6:32pm
Ladies from failed relationships, no. Ladies from a fun-go-go-time, yes.
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post #4 of 21
1/7/10 at 6:37pm
I will say this though: It helps matters a bit if you've done well for yourself, have kept most of your hair and your boyish good looks (and a trim waistline), and the guy your ex left you for is pounding beers in the corner of the room with his t-shirt on backwards. For some inexplicable reason, it turns the heart's vinegar into honey.
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post #5 of 21
1/7/10 at 8:13pm
Why wouldn't one try to stay at least friendly with an ex? I mean after the bitterness and anger wears off, didn't the two of you share some great memories? That's the stuff friendship is made of. My ex-wife and I talk at least a couple times a week and not just about the kids. And one of my best friends is an ex-steady from college days.
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post #6 of 21
1/7/10 at 8:14pm
No, it's unhealthy.
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post #7 of 21
1/7/10 at 10:32pm
Really depends how it ended. I have never stayed friends with any of my ex's except for one, she was a childhood friend growing up and we dated on and off through the years.
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post #8 of 21
1/7/10 at 10:41pm
in hs right now had 3 ex's completely cut off contact with all of them.
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post #9 of 21
1/7/10 at 10:45pm
Some of them. I find friendship is only possible if you cut off all contact for quite awhile after the end of the relationship to allow each of you to move on with your lives. It'll never work if one party still has feelings for the other.
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post #10 of 21
1/7/10 at 11:36pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eason View Post
No, it's unhealthy.

+1
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post #11 of 21
1/7/10 at 11:43pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dakota rube View Post
Why wouldn't one try to stay at least friendly with an ex?

I mean after the bitterness and anger wears off, didn't the two of you share some great memories? That's the stuff friendship is made of.

My ex-wife and I talk at least a couple times a week and not just about the kids. And one of my best friends is an ex-steady from college days.

+1. I'm still friends with two of the four significant relationships I've had in my life. The two that I'm not, we were very young (HS and earlier) and I've just lost touch...no hard feelings after all these years.

I keep up with my ex from college. We are great friends because we still enjoy the things about each other that drew us together in the first place. We usually trade a few emails a week. My ex wife...well let's just say we're better as friends than we ever were married.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eason View Post
No, it's unhealthy.

This is just silly.

EDIT: Let me restate. It's just silly to make this such a blanket statement. In certain relationships it may or may not be healthy to maintain contact. But to make such a blanket statement is little more than laughable.
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post #12 of 21
1/7/10 at 11:44pm
No. If we got along they wouldn't be Exes. It's just weird to me.
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post #13 of 21
1/8/10 at 1:09am
Sometimes it's just best to put things behind you for good. Otherwise you end up beating yourself up over it and there's not a lot of point to that.
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post #14 of 21
1/8/10 at 1:29am
I'm Facebook friends with the one who I had the most serious relationship with but its been over 10-years since I broke up with her and we rarely ever interact on FB.

Plus I think she's been through like 2 failed marriages since we split up so it's not like I am her most recent heartbreak anymore.
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post #15 of 21
1/8/10 at 1:30am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eason View Post
No, it's unhealthy.

Some would say the same about jumping directly from one serious relationship to another.

I've had two serious relationships. I don't talk to the first one at all. Our lack of common ground is one of the things that led to the deterioration of our relationship. On top of that, her personality did a 180 following the relationship (i.e. attempts to rub new "relationships" in my face). I used quotations there because none of them were ever anything more than a dude trying to get laid and then book it. At any rate, all that turned me off from even wanting to stay in infrequent contact.

Though my last relationship ended back in August, we've only recently started the distance thing from one another. We had to work together all last semester, which made it difficult to really start that healing process.

I still get pretty down about the split several times a week, so I'm not in a spot to say whether I can be friends with her later on. I'd like to think so, since we share so many interests and have a comparable sense of humor. She's the type of person I think most people are better for having in their lives. But I know at this point I'd be unable to maintain a friendship with her if she were involved with anyone else.
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