Dump my girlfriend or try harder????

Man I got a DILEMMA...

How do you know if you and your girlfriend arent right for each other?? She has a heart of gold but we can't communicate without arguing and she has no drive or ambition (apart from wanting a dog). Zero. when she talks I switch off. When I try and tell her somethin she bristles. Man, the list of problems goes on and on - she just remembers the good stuff though. She's 100% loyal and in love with me. WTF aya supposed to do?

Everytime I get to the point of breaking up with her I get 'the fear'. How can I know for sure the problem isnt just me being a moody, miserable baastard??

Normally I'm not such a chicken **** but I'm afraid of gettin this wrong

Originally Posted by big_kev

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How do you know if you and your girlfriend arent right for each other?? She has a heart of gold but we can't communicate without arguing
See how you answered your own question? And so quickly.

Stop trying to communicate with a woman. Marry her and cheat.

Originally Posted by APK

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See how you answered your own question? And so quickly.


Dude I dont understand? Pls explain. I dont get it

im in the same sitch big kev

all i can say is dont overthink

Originally Posted by big_kev

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Man I got a DILEMMA...

How do you know if you and your girlfriend arent right for each other?? She has a heart of gold but we can't communicate without arguing and she has no drive or ambition (apart from wanting a dog). Zero. when she talks I switch off. When I try and tell her somethin she bristles. Man, the list of problems goes on and on - she just remembers the good stuff though. She's 100% loyal and in love with me. WTF aya supposed to do?

Everytime I get to the point of breaking up with her I get 'the fear'. How can I know for sure the problem isnt just me being a moody, miserable baastard??

Normally I'm not such a chicken **** but I'm afraid of gettin this wrong

You saying that she has no drive or ambition indicates that you have drive and ambition. As such, staying with her will always hold you back. You will always be wondering "what could have been" and will eventually harbor resentment. Further, the lack of communication will just compound problems. The relationship is doomed to fail - break it off.

She's going to be fat soon too if she isn't already.

Originally Posted by why

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She's going to be fat soon too if she isn't already.
+1. Some doth a pearl produce in mollusks fair, Yet none but a few send back an eclair.

Even though its obvious that youre not compatible, you should let your fear of ending up alone dictate the relationship. Stay with her until the path less traveled makes you bitter and insecure and you lash out by always getting into arguments over dumb **** and eventually getting drunk and ******* a ********* you will regret the rest of your life. Then all your friends will lord it over "ohh look at big kev, the chubster impaler" they will say.

Or so I've heard anyway...

If you're younger than 30, I saw probably dump her. If you're 25 or younger, I say definitely dump her. She will hold you back from experiencing your youth fully and will likely hold you back from a career perspective. Not being too comfortable in your 20s is a good thing. It pushes you to explore things outside your comfort zone.

If you're at the "I want kids" stage of life, think whether you want to spend the next 25 years raising a child with this woman. If your gut says no (and, from the tone of your post, I think it will), than break up with her. If your priority is kids or "settling down", than perhaps try and make it work.

For the most part, she is who she is and you are who you are, and no amount of arguing or complaining or whatever else will change that. People change slowly over time with new life experiences; they don't change in a static relationship. Breaking up with her might be the better long-term move (if you really want her to make some serious changes) anyway.

HA. thanks. Enjoyed the few funny ones there. People take their crappy f#ckin lives too seriously dont they

Originally Posted by sjg22

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If you're younger than 30, I saw probably dump her. If you're 25 or younger, I say definitely dump her. She will hold you back from experiencing your youth fully and will likely hold you back from a career perspective. Not being too comfortable in your 20s is a good thing. It pushes you to explore things outside your comfort zone. If you're at the "I want kids" stage of life, think whether you want to spend the next 25 years raising a child with this woman. If your gut says no (and, from the tone of your post, I think it will), than break up with her. If your priority is kids or "settling down", than perhaps try and make it work. For the most part, she is who she is and you are who you are, and no amount of arguing or complaining or whatever else will change that. People change slowly over time with new life experiences; they don't change in a static relationship. Breaking up with her might be the better long-term move (if you really want her to make some serious changes) anyway.
I'm 28. she's a few years older than me. She says she wants a dog and I'm like jason bourne sizing up the nearest exit. I think your right pal - if I keep goin the way Im goin for another 3 years she'll be 35 and thats kinda old to be pullin the trigger on her. TBH I probably wont be ready for a dog then either - never mind kids. Its pretty crappy the way the only options are all or nothin. It sucks

I think you should make a genuine effort on your side to make things better, and if you still don't feel good about spending your life with her, I would give up.

Look at this as a learning experience. Hang in there for a while and ask yourself "what are you doing right and where could you improve not only in this but any relationship". Sometimes we think it is"the other person" when we are the ones who need to be patient, kind, lend a hand, etc.


But if the other person is a flawed match with you, you need to deal with that as well and move on.

If you're reasonably young, dump. Always dump.