Originally Posted by snowy_footprints
Preferably, the subject line of this would have read: Completely won over a girl's heart and then put myself in the "friend zone." Should I talk to her and explain?
So, I have found myself in a strange situation.
Two weeks ago, I caught a glimpse of a girl in a bar that I found absolutely gorgeous. She was just about to get into a cab, so I quickly grabbed a cocktail napkin, jotted down my name and number, and rushed out to hand it to her as she was just getting in. I looked her straight in the eyes and sincerely said something to the effect of, "I never, ever, do this sort of thing, but my name is Derrick and I would love an opportunity to take you out sometime." She gave me a coy, doe eyed smile and was totally caught off guard, yet clearly flattered.
Half an hour later, she sent me a text message saying, "wow, no one has ever done that before... given me their number."
So for the next two weeks, we exchange a series of flirty text messages, add each other on Facebook, etc. Clearly a strong mutual interest between the two of us.
On NYE, I was hosting a party at my place. I invite her out, and she accepts. She comes, she's just as beautiful as I had remembered. We kiss at midnight. Talk for awhile. She grabs me and leads me to the bedroom. We kiss more, intensely, passionately, we express how much of a strong attraction we have for one another between kissing. She says how attractive and appealing my boldness was in giving her my number like that. Then she left, but was followed by more text messages throughout the night that she was craving more from me.
We hang out the next day for what was intended to be more of a proper date, but totally neglected that fact that real restaurants are closed on New Years Day, so we meet up at a more casual place, talk for awhile, and then head back to my place together. I opened a bottle of wine, we continue the conversation, and as it turns out, she's actually a very intelligent and engaging girl that I quickly found myself falling for. We snuck in spurts of kissing during the conversation, but kept going back to talking because there was clearly a strong connection. Eventually, the kissing trumps the conversation and things naturally heat up from there. After about an hour or so of really good sex, we lay in bed spooning and talking for hours, sneaking in kisses, and just enjoying one another's company. By this point, I had fallen pretty hard for the girl and the feeling was clearly mutual given the tone of the conversation. 5:30 in the morning, I drive her home, we hug and kiss passionately as she gets out of the car. I go home, totally smitten.
More flirty texts, Facebook status updates, comments, etc...
Two days later (last night), we make plans to grab coffee. She meets me at my place, and we immediately strike up fun conversation. I wanted to embrace her and say, "Hello, beautiful" and kiss her, but I didn't... I feared coming on too strong as both of us had recently came out of relationships, so I kept it casual. Casual all night. We got coffee to go, head back to my place, and just talk but all the conversation was fun, intelligent, and enjoyable. I knew we only had an hour as she had plans for yoga, so I didn't try to push anything physical. She had also made mention the day prior of getting her period, and then made subtle references such as "ugh, I hate the feeling of cramping..." and "I always crave ice cream at this time of the month." So that coupled with the reticence of not wanting to come on too strong, I kept everything casual and friendly. As the hour drew to a close, I offered to drive her home, and kiss her gently on the lips twice as we're going out the door just to reaffirm my interest in her "like that." It was the first and only physical interaction of the night. Something felt amiss... I drive her home, she gets out of the car only giving me a hug and thanking me for coffee. That confirmed my suspicion of something not feeling right.
I waited a few hours, sent her a fun, tongue-in-cheek text message referencing from our conversation earlier in the night. She responded pleasantly to it. And then I get, verbatim:
"btw i apologize if i seemed distant or off putting earlier. i really really enjoy our conversation and think you are a wonderfully great guy and i dont want to assume anything on how you feel. but i just want to make it clear that i am not looking for a relationship or anything serious." I am sorry if i let things go too far but i dont regret our night a few days ago. i don't want to lead you on."
I respond with, "I was certainly open to entertaining the idea of going further. But caught that impression from you earlier, so I acted awkward and stilted as a result. I did rather enjoy the other night, and thought we had something there for a moment."
Her, "I think we have chemistry its just that i just got out of one serious relationship after another and i want to be single and experience that and meeting people and being young yada yada yada. i never intended to make you feel awkward."
Me, "I totally empathize. I'm very much in the same place and have no interest in pushing things so suddenly. I definitely dig on you like that, but don't have the time nor interest in jumping into a relationship quickly. If you would like to continue things casually as we had been, I'm down. I am in no hurry and have a lot going on in my life, as prefaced earlier."
Her, "I just want to be friends for now honestly. i think for one reason or another i realized that today. in my book honesty is the best policy and i feel comfortable enough with you to be candid and share what i am feeling. I think you have many attractive qualities and i feel a connection with you. I am just not sure it is a romantic one."
Me, "I fault myself for that. I felt a definite attraction toward you, but kept my distance tonight because I didn't want to force it too much provided everything else. I do appreciate the honesty." Any how, "I'm not one to belabor, make excuses, or force anything. I just wanted to share my sentiments with you regarding the issue."
So that brings me to where I am now. Totally hung up on this girl, knowing she felt the same for me just two days prior, and not sure if I can rectify my mistake of being too casual and friend-like last night. Replaying last night over and over in my mind, I just keep thinking about how I should have been more forward and amorous, continuing from the momentum of the other night we shared.
I am somewhat confused about how to proceed. Would it be a poor move to text her later today with, "Mind if we meet up and talk for a minute?" and just pour out how I feel? I don't want to scare her away, but I want to keep seeing her and maintain that same amorous connection we had just two days prior.
girls are weird.
just dont let her find this on the internet. she seems savvy enough