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Would you cheat on your wife??? - Page 3

post #31 of 124
1/4/10 at 6:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by gdl203 View Post
That's not what I'm saying. I'm just asking you to stop calling people liars. Different samples, different populations, different opinions and stats.
Part of the issue may be that fewer people answer the question "would you cheat on your wife" yes than actually cheat on their wives. You can say "no, I would not cheat on my wife" having already cheated on your wife. Of course I would not cheat on my wife. I think it's foolish to get married if you answer the question yes but horses for courses and all that. edit: hey look, other people already said this.
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post #32 of 124
1/4/10 at 6:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrG View Post
I agree: The polls would be much more instructive if they broke down the behavior by the length of the marriage. Then we could see if it's just general human nature, or if there's something like the seven year itch. I.e. is it intrinsic to cheat, or is it boredom?

I wonder about the Gen Y statement, though. Do you think they'd be more likely to stray that a boomer couple who came up during the free love era or someone who was a part of the 70s party scene?

I'm just hypothesizing. All I know is that the "MTV generation" sees cheating as much more excusable than the older generations that I've spoken to. Or maybe I am off-base, and both hold the same view towards infidelity, with the Gen Y'ers being more open and offhand about it.
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post #33 of 124
1/4/10 at 6:56pm
Sure, automatically assume someone is lying or hypocritical if their answer is against what you would do according to your standards or morals.
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post #34 of 124
1/4/10 at 6:57pm
i wouldn't. haven't in 13 years together.
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post #35 of 124
1/4/10 at 6:58pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetroStyles View Post
I'm just hypothesizing. All I know is that the "MTV generation" sees cheating as much more excusable than the older generations that I've spoken to. Or maybe I am off-base, and both hold the same view towards infidelity, with the Gen Y'ers being more open and offhand about it.

Gen X is the original MTV Generation, no?

Do Gen Y guys not plan to rip off heads and shit down necks if their wives screw around? Serious question. I mean, do you excuse it on your part, but not get possessive if your woman does it? Seems sort of hard to believe a guy treats that "more open and offhand." YMMV.
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post #36 of 124
1/4/10 at 6:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by sho'nuff View Post
Sure, automatically assume someone is lying or hypocritical if their answer is against what you would do according to your standards or morals.

I don't plan on cheating, but that's also why I am considering not getting married. I know it is very difficult not to stray, even if you have a beautiful, agreeable wife. And it has nothing to do with how much you love them. Even if you don't do it, the itch is often there (at least while you still have traceable testosterone levels in your blood), and that is a crappy way to live life. Clearly most men go into marriage understanding this and believing they can make that sacrifice, but nature overcomes nurture again and again.
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post #37 of 124
1/4/10 at 6:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piobaire View Post
Gen X is the original MTV Generation, no?

Do Gen Y guys not plan to rip off heads and shit down necks if their wives screw around? Serious question. I mean, do you excuse it on your part, but not get possessive if your woman does it? Seems sort of hard to believe a guy treats that "more open and offhand." YMMV.

Watch Jersey Shore.
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post #38 of 124
1/4/10 at 7:01pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetroStyles View Post
Watch Jersey Shore.

So this openness is only a one way street? I've not watched Jersey Shore for more than a few minutes, but something tells me those guys would go into a roid rage.
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post #39 of 124
1/4/10 at 7:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetroStyles View Post
For one, I assume that people who have cheated or would cheat would be hesitant to bother answering this poll, and so there would be a self-selection bias. Also, I think the majority of SF posters are hypocritical bastards.

I am a hypocritical bastard, but never cheated on my wife (when I had one).
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post #40 of 124
1/4/10 at 7:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piobaire View Post
So this openness is only a one way street? I've not watched Jersey Shore for more than a few minutes, but something tells me those guys would go into a roid rage.

Everyone is open about doing it, but hypocritical when it is done to them.
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post #41 of 124
1/4/10 at 7:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetroStyles View Post
Everyone is open about doing it, but hypocritical when it is done to them.

I would say that is just the same old, same old, that's been around forever.

I heard a joke once, goes something like this:

In France, you hear a little about the man, a little about his wife, and a little about his mistress.

In Italy, you hear nothing about the wife, a little about the man, and all about his mistress.

In England, you hear nothing about the mistress, a little about the wife, and all about the man.

Basically, much of this is cultural...but no one likes to be the one getting cheated on.
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post #42 of 124
1/4/10 at 7:12pm
Also, the poll is misguided. For example, I am not married, and I "wouldn't" cheat on my wife. However, it is not beyond the realm of my imagination that I could potentially get drunk one day, be seduced by an exotic nympho-vixen, and accept a BJ in a moment of weakness. Do I plan on it? No. Would I 9/10 resist? Probably. But to say it is out of the realm of possibility is something that no one can fairly say, unless they are idealistic and immature. We change over time, and so do our views on things. So do our situations. This is the same reason that apologies for transgressions long past are essentially meaningless...it is a different person you are speaking for.

That said, a better poll would have been: How long have you been married and have you ever kissed [or whatever else you want to insert here] a female other than your wife? If divorced, answer as of the last day of marriage.

Options:
- Unmarried
- <5 years, Yes
- <5 years, No
- 5-10 years, Yes
- 5-10 years, No
- 10-20 years, Yes
- 10-20 years, No
- >20 years, Yes
- >20 years, No

That is a poll whose results would be much more meaningful, and a lot less dogmatic.
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post #43 of 124
1/4/10 at 7:13pm
I've been in situations before in the past. I've held back. I couldn't do that to someone I love. Not worth the short term pleasure.
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post #44 of 124
1/4/10 at 7:49pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetroStyles View Post
I don't plan on cheating, but that's also why I am considering not getting married. I know it is very difficult not to stray, even if you have a beautiful, agreeable wife. And it has nothing to do with how much you love them. Even if you don't do it, the itch is often there (at least while you still have traceable testosterone levels in your blood), and that is a crappy way to live life. Clearly most men go into marriage understanding this and believing they can make that sacrifice, but nature overcomes nurture again and again.

I see your point and it is fair enough that this is true for anyone. It is human nature. We are talking about that physical desire , which, applies to most things in life: you want to take something , steal, cheat, hide the truth , kill someone, etc and we all have these desires. All the time.
It is what makes us human.
But for me, it is how you look at it.
From your point of view it is a crappy way to live to get committed to something to life and struggle with wanting to cheat.

but that is what it is , points of view. it is different to someone else, it is not a 'crappy' way to live, but just an aspect of life people are willing to sacrifice to achieve or experience something more important to them.
you eat healthy and commit to it, but that means sacrificing drinking or eating junk food, but yeah, that is a bad example , but for argument sake here...
you say it is not worth it after awhile, but that is that, food is just an object. marriage, and your significant other, is something else, sure if you go to it from that point of view then these different points of view come about like why should i make my life crappy?

this is what also makes us human, is to know what our degrading desires are but to continually fight them and just build from there.
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post #45 of 124
1/4/10 at 7:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetroStyles View Post
I'm just hypothesizing. All I know is that the "MTV generation" sees cheating as much more excusable than the older generations that I've spoken to. Or maybe I am off-base, and both hold the same view towards infidelity, with the Gen Y'ers being more open and offhand about it.

That may change with age, though. There are a lot of people I know who thought nothing of screwing around when they were young, but they wouldn't dream of it by the time they're mature enough to get married. That said, there's a lot of talk about how the younger people are now "hyper-sexualized," so maybe things really are different. Though I would be surprised if they're that different. I'm right at the Gen X/Y divide, and the view of cheating among my friends, who are generally 25-35, isn't really out of line with the generations that came before.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MetroStyles View Post
Also, the poll is misguided. For example, I am not married, and I "wouldn't" cheat on my wife. However, it is not beyond the realm of my imagination that I could potentially get drunk one day, be seduced by an exotic nympho-vixen, and accept a BJ in a moment of weakness. Do I plan on it? No. Would I 9/10 resist? Probably. But to say it is out of the realm of possibility is something that no one can fairly say, unless they are idealistic and immature. We change over time, and so do our views on things. So do our situations. This is the same reason that apologies for transgressions long past are essentially meaningless...it is a different person you are speaking for.

That said, a better poll would have been: How long have you been married and have you ever kissed [or whatever else you want to insert here] a female other than your wife? If divorced, answer as of the last day of marriage.

Options:
- Unmarried
- <5 years, Yes
- <5 years, No
- 5-10 years, Yes
- 5-10 years, No
- 10-20 years, Yes
- 10-20 years, No
- >20 years, Yes
- >20 years, No

That is a poll whose results would be much more meaningful, and a lot less dogmatic.

I agree completely. This, I think, would yield interesting results.
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