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Someone farts in your face while walking past your seat. What do you do?

post #1 of 36
12/30/09 at 4:25am
Thread Starter 

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Edited by merkur - 7/29/11 at 11:43pm
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post #2 of 36
12/30/09 at 4:43am
Predict what they last ate.
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post #3 of 36
12/30/09 at 4:48am
Throwdown.
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post #4 of 36
12/30/09 at 4:55am
In a loud voice ask, "OMG, did you just fart? It smells like something crawled up your ass and died!" Do NOT lick your lips.
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post #5 of 36
12/30/09 at 4:59am
On a related subject, I spent the day cursing the elderly people that had been through my workplace earlier because there was an 'elderly bowels' smell around periodically throughout the day. I had a realization, though, when I got home and smelled it again. Damn those week-old leftovers.
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post #6 of 36
12/30/09 at 11:07am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jumbie View Post
In a loud voice ask, "OMG, did you just fart? It smells like something crawled up your ass and died!"

Do NOT lick your lips.
Totally acceptable and expected response on a subway.
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post #7 of 36
12/30/09 at 12:43pm
Get off the train and quickly get on the next car down the line. And as you walk past the offender, tell him "you fucking stink - douchebag"
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post #8 of 36
12/30/09 at 12:44pm
Look at his shoes.
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post #9 of 36
12/30/09 at 1:02pm
Light a match then proceed as follows:
Quote:
Originally Posted by NakedYoga View Post
Look at his shoes.
+1 Do this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkNWorn View Post
Throwdown.
+1 Then start swinging.
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post #10 of 36
12/30/09 at 1:09pm
Breathe in deeply through your mouth and let those fart molecules infuse into your bloodstream , letting the fart molecules become basic building block for your cells and dna.
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post #11 of 36
12/30/09 at 1:14pm
Butt-punch
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post #12 of 36
12/30/09 at 1:26pm
Faint
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post #13 of 36
12/30/09 at 1:33pm
determine whether he is a virgin or not by how loud the fart sounds. A tight a-hole will let out a low, squeaky fart. Anything louder than that denotes a rather open balloon knot. Maybe a stint in jail.
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post #14 of 36
12/30/09 at 1:45pm
Begin plotting your elaborate revenge.
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post #15 of 36
12/30/09 at 2:29pm
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