Originally Posted by TeeKay
tbh I have no idea why anyone would want
to be friends with their exes(beyond just being casually friendly towards each other). What are you wanting to do...hang out or something?
It usually doesn't work. In most cases, the best you can probably hope for is to be friendly with them. It's not always true, but I've usually thought if you could be great friends, you probably would still be together.
In my situation, the one ex moved to NYC to pursue a career in publishing. We hadn't been together a long time when we split, but it had moved quickly and we were tentatively making plans for the future. It was by far the shortest relationship I've ever had - less than a year - but she remains the only person that I ever thought, "I could marry this girl" about. Once I was finally over the relationship or any ideas of us ever getting back together, I was able to, and wanted to be friends. I have a huge amount of respect for her and she's always a fun conversation. Contrast that with my first serious "adult" relationship; we were together close to four years, but I haven't talked to her in eight years, probably never will again, and I'm totally fine with that.
It's too soon to tell regarding the most recent ex. We were never really friends to begin with; we hung out through mutual friends for a few months before dating, but I was always interested. I still enjoy talking to her when I do. She was just lacking in a lot of ways when it came to what I want in a relationship, and I know the feeling was mutual. In some ways, we get along better these days than the last few months of the relationships, because we aren't harboring all of this resentment for each other.