And I didn't even mention that the first year of our relationship was complicated by the father of her children, who was kind of a fuck up and bipolar. She still thought incredibly highly of him after she ended things, but he never really got over it, and meddled in our situation often. Then he had a near-suicide attempt about 8 months into our relationship, followed by him actually sealing the deal one year later to do the day, which was only a few weeks after she and I moved in together.
Basically, after that, I always thought almost anyone would stand a better chance, since I was always going to be linked to this guy in a way, and while his mental issues got him to the point of suicide, it was our living together that was pretty much it for him. I wasn't the best partner in terms of comfort for long after it happened, and she resented me for a long time because of it. Part of her probably still does.
Anyway, I agree the might make a better match in that she has a tendency to be emotionally unavailable, which means that she wants a partner, but not necessarily for all the aspects that you expect to get from a romantic partner. I'm pretty sure she's done having kids, which I think wouldn't work for me, since having a hand in raising her two kids the last three years made me realize I actually want kids of my own, too. We're both 30, and her youngest is four, so I think starting the whole process again that appealing. So, very few things point to us ever having a real future where we were both satisfied, which will definitely will help me as time goes on in knowing that this is the tough thing to do right now, but also the right thing.
apparently im not bipolar anymore fucking psychiatrists keep moving my diagnosis to like everything else.