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Random health and exercise thoughts - Page 3456

post #51826 of 57266
Quote:
Originally Posted by APK View Post

Warning: Spoiler! (Click to show)
Girlfriend of nearly three years is getting a bit house crazy, which would be fine, except she's recently decided she would like to get one closer to where she's from and where all of her family is. Beautiful area, but houses are $$$, easily twice what you could get around where we are now. I've never gotten the sense she's all that close with her family, so this sudden desire to be closer to them seems odd. I don't care much for them, either. Nice enough people, but not exactly enthralling company.

Anyway, she doesn't seem to care all that much that to do so, I would have to be the one far away from my friends and family, since most of them are here. I kinda feel like I've already made big compromises - she has two young children and she isn't sure she wants more, so there's a chance I'd help raise them, but never have any of my own - so I've already told her this move would be a deal-breaker for me.

On top of all that, she really doesn't have much in savings. She's optimistic about doing this in two years, but given her current salary and fondness for buying shit, I just don't see how she will have close to even a down payment by then. I'm of the mind that a house is ideal for a family, but you kind of need to earn it (i.e. save for years or have a baller income) or risk being under constant financial stress. I've got a friend with two kids who's living in a huge house he can't afford because his wife wanted it. He has a decent job, but because she's just some manager at a fast food joint, kids are expensive, etc., he's like an inch away from bankruptcy. No thanks. I'd like to own a house some day, but I don't feel like I've earned the right to do so. But I think she's determined to do this regardless, so I forecast a life of living on the brink of financial ruin, all while being far away from many of the people I'm closest with.

Needless to say, I'm thinking about my own living options once our lease is up this October. foo.gif

Sappy post ahead!

Well, she ended up getting a cool house with lots of potential around here. I got an apartment. We both still balked at ending it for good, so I was staying at the house for a few weeks. But naturally, things returned to usual not long after, and we were both preoccupied with other things to put much effort into it. I ended up moving a lot of my things out earlier this year, but still wasn't totally closed to figuring something out with her again. But really, it had been a long time coming and we didn't really have much trust left in each other, so as it turns out, that was really it for her. I was still around a bit, because of the kids, figuring that it wasn't a big deal because most of the relationship had been stressful, or underwhelming and we really just didn't mesh in a lot of ways or bring out the best in each other. For the most part, I felt good about my decision to leave.

Then a couple of weeks ago, I realized it was time to accept my long-time anger and impatience issues. Just finally accepting that they were more extreme than I let myself believe made a huge difference. Being all high on these changes, I started re-evaluating if this would potentially make revisiting the relationship viable. I didn't come outright and say that the next time we spoke, but she kind of picked up on it. Alas, it was too late. She mentioned she'd had this harmless crush on a higher up at her job and that she had recently suspected maybe he was interested in her. She's really attractive, and he's something like mid-40s in the process of a year-long divorce, so um, yeah, I thought, of course he's interested. Anyway, she apparently sent him a message expressing interest and now the dude is crazy anxious blowing up her phone, already talking about maybe eventually flying her out to NYC while he's there on business; the type of stuff she's usually put off by. But I think the potential of something new with someone cut from a more sophisticated cloth is too appealing for her to not investigate. And let's face it, she's not a gold-digger, but that six-figure income sure isn't hurting his chances.

Needless to say, I've been pretty bummed about it, partly because of this change of heart I was having and also just the dumb ego issue of her really moving along. I kinda doubt it will end up being more than a few weeks/months of hooking up, but with how eager he seemed, who knows. She doesn't make really good money and neither do I, so my natural competitive nature is taking a drubbing thinking about what this guy can do for her financially. And then, of course, there's the painful truth that I'll need to basically cut ties with the kids sooner than I had expected to.

I know that most of my anger or disappointment is just jealousy based on feeling embarrassed and that a lot of this will subside once I just get back out there myself. This isn't like my last serious relationship where I was totally blindsided and couldn't understand at the time why it was over. This one was a long time coming and for pretty good reasons. I just need to shake the nostalgia of the three years, remembering that I was unfulfilled a lot of the time by the relationship. Probably would help if she were ugly!

Anyway, I've not taken this as a chance to totally fall apart and be bed-ridden or anything. After a LONG absence from weight training and good nutrition, I've really been smoking both areas since I found out about this guy. I did my first two weight training sessions since last AUGUST. I've been cooking again, and haven't any junk since the day I found out. In fact, I actually have no desire for any of that stuff. Down 7 pounds in the first week, just because I had been getting almost no physical activity for the last year and a half, and has basically been existing on takeout food. I've got a long way to go, but I guess I wanted to document this somewhat low point for me so that I can look back on it a few months from now and realize how far I've come. Thanks, bros.
post #51827 of 57266
TLDR; fuck bitches, acquire gains icon_gu_b_slayer[1].gif
post #51828 of 57266
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cool The Kid View Post

Unless you are eating shit like duck confit/wild rabbit/wild boar stew etc u wont get me. Next time I go to Europe no grocery store meat
Yeah that's basically what I'm eating. I have had duck confit probably 30 times since New Years as well as tons of of marrow, ox tail, frog legs etc.

Basically what Fuji is to drugs I am to food.
post #51829 of 57266
Quote:
Originally Posted by APK View Post

Sappy post ahead! Warning: Spoiler! (Click to show)
Well, she ended up getting a cool house with lots of potential around here. I got an apartment. We both still balked at ending it for good, so I was staying at the house for a few weeks. But naturally, things returned to usual not long after, and we were both preoccupied with other things to put much effort into it. I ended up moving a lot of my things out earlier this year, but still wasn't totally closed to figuring something out with her again. But really, it had been a long time coming and we didn't really have much trust left in each other, so as it turns out, that was really it for her. I was still around a bit, because of the kids, figuring that it wasn't a big deal because most of the relationship had been stressful, or underwhelming and we really just didn't mesh in a lot of ways or bring out the best in each other. For the most part, I felt good about my decision to leave.

Then a couple of weeks ago, I realized it was time to accept my long-time anger and impatience issues. Just finally accepting that they were more extreme than I let myself believe made a huge difference. Being all high on these changes, I started re-evaluating if this would potentially make revisiting the relationship viable. I didn't come outright and say that the next time we spoke, but she kind of picked up on it. Alas, it was too late. She mentioned she'd had this harmless crush on a higher up at her job and that she had recently suspected maybe he was interested in her. She's really attractive, and he's something like mid-40s in the process of a year-long divorce, so um, yeah, I thought, of course he's interested. Anyway, she apparently sent him a message expressing interest and now the dude is crazy anxious blowing up her phone, already talking about maybe eventually flying her out to NYC while he's there on business; the type of stuff she's usually put off by. But I think the potential of something new with someone cut from a more sophisticated cloth is too appealing for her to not investigate. And let's face it, she's not a gold-digger, but that six-figure income sure isn't hurting his chances.

Needless to say, I've been pretty bummed about it, partly because of this change of heart I was having and also just the dumb ego issue of her really moving along. I kinda doubt it will end up being more than a few weeks/months of hooking up, but with how eager he seemed, who knows. She doesn't make really good money and neither do I, so my natural competitive nature is taking a drubbing thinking about what this guy can do for her financially. And then, of course, there's the painful truth that I'll need to basically cut ties with the kids sooner than I had expected to.

I know that most of my anger or disappointment is just jealousy based on feeling embarrassed and that a lot of this will subside once I just get back out there myself. This isn't like my last serious relationship where I was totally blindsided and couldn't understand at the time why it was over. This one was a long time coming and for pretty good reasons. I just need to shake the nostalgia of the three years, remembering that I was unfulfilled a lot of the time by the relationship. Probably would help if she were ugly!

Anyway, I've not taken this as a chance to totally fall apart and be bed-ridden or anything. After a LONG absence from weight training and good nutrition, I've really been smoking both areas since I found out about this guy. I did my first two weight training sessions since last AUGUST. I've been cooking again, and haven't any junk since the day I found out. In fact, I actually have no desire for any of that stuff. Down 7 pounds in the first week, just because I had been getting almost no physical activity for the last year and a half, and has basically been existing on takeout food. I've got a long way to go, but I guess I wanted to document this somewhat low point for me so that I can look back on it a few months from now and realize how far I've come. Thanks, bros.

Ouch.

It might work out well for them because of their positions matching up well, but in this scenario I'd much rather be you (unless you're also in your 40s, in which case oh well). a) you don't have kids b) you're not divorced.

Plus, as you mentioned you're not sure whether she'd have wanted kids again.

Honestly, it was a fairly unworkable situation.
post #51830 of 57266
Quote:
Originally Posted by tesseract View Post

Yeah that's basically what I'm eating. I have had duck confit probably 30 times since New Years as well as tons of of marrow, ox tail, frog legs etc.

Basically what Fuji is to drugs I am to food.
OK that would just be torture because French food is hard as hell to find down here. U cant get boudin noir in this city
post #51831 of 57266
French food tastes like nothingness, and not in a good way.
post #51832 of 57266
holy shit hendrix said something smart
post #51833 of 57266

:inlove:

 


Ramen desu! Daisuki!!! Just had some Vietnamese food, plus a gyro and a falafel platter. Been burping up a storm.

post #51834 of 57266
Quote:
Originally Posted by hendrix View Post

Ouch.

It might work out well for them because of their positions matching up well, but in this scenario I'd much rather be you (unless you're also in your 40s, in which case oh well). a) you don't have kids b) you're not divorced.

Plus, as you mentioned you're not sure whether she'd have wanted kids again.

Honestly, it was a fairly unworkable situation.

And I didn't even mention that the first year of our relationship was complicated by the father of her children, who was kind of a fuck up and bipolar. She still thought incredibly highly of him after she ended things, but he never really got over it, and meddled in our situation often. Then he had a near-suicide attempt about 8 months into our relationship, followed by him actually sealing the deal one year later to do the day, which was only a few weeks after she and I moved in together.

Basically, after that, I always thought almost anyone would stand a better chance, since I was always going to be linked to this guy in a way, and while his mental issues got him to the point of suicide, it was our living together that was pretty much it for him. I wasn't the best partner in terms of comfort for long after it happened, and she resented me for a long time because of it. Part of her probably still does.

Anyway, I agree the might make a better match in that she has a tendency to be emotionally unavailable, which means that she wants a partner, but not necessarily for all the aspects that you expect to get from a romantic partner. I'm pretty sure she's done having kids, which I think wouldn't work for me, since having a hand in raising her two kids the last three years made me realize I actually want kids of my own, too. We're both 30, and her youngest is four, so I think starting the whole process again that appealing. So, very few things point to us ever having a real future where we were both satisfied, which will definitely will help me as time goes on in knowing that this is the tough thing to do right now, but also the right thing.
post #51835 of 57266
Considering joining a local spin cycle club. I have a regular gym where I do elliptical machine and weight training. But thinking this brand new facility with young, new (and cute) trainers will add a fresh new twist to my workouts. I ride bikes on trails. Not sure how I will adjust to spin classes but will give it a go.I will probably be the oldest guy in the class.

Anyone here do spin classes? Any advice for a novice?
post #51836 of 57266
Quote:
Originally Posted by APK View Post

Warning: Spoiler! (Click to show)
And I didn't even mention that the first year of our relationship was complicated by the father of her children, who was kind of a fuck up and bipolar. She still thought incredibly highly of him after she ended things, but he never really got over it, and meddled in our situation often. Then he had a near-suicide attempt about 8 months into our relationship, followed by him actually sealing the deal one year later to do the day, which was only a few weeks after she and I moved in together.

Basically, after that, I always thought almost anyone would stand a better chance, since I was always going to be linked to this guy in a way, and while his mental issues got him to the point of suicide, it was our living together that was pretty much it for him. I wasn't the best partner in terms of comfort for long after it happened, and she resented me for a long time because of it. Part of her probably still does.

Anyway, I agree the might make a better match in that she has a tendency to be emotionally unavailable, which means that she wants a partner, but not necessarily for all the aspects that you expect to get from a romantic partner. I'm pretty sure she's done having kids, which I think wouldn't work for me, since having a hand in raising her two kids the last three years made me realize I actually want kids of my own, too. We're both 30, and her youngest is four, so I think starting the whole process again that appealing. So, very few things point to us ever having a real future where we were both satisfied, which will definitely will help me as time goes on in knowing that this is the tough thing to do right now, but also the right thing.

That is heavy shit.

Gym helps bro.

Also, joining working hard on your job and joining a social sports team is pretty much a necessity after this shit. It's a massive gap in terms of self esteem and hormones etc that needs to be replaced by a lot of positive things.

Sure you already know that but you gotta be active about this shit.
post #51837 of 57266
APK








It's never failed me post breakup
post #51838 of 57266
Quote:
Originally Posted by APK View Post

Thanks, bros.

post #51839 of 57266

Almost done with the home gym!

 

 

 

post #51840 of 57266

Felt great hitting 285 on bench with my shiny new bumpers!

 

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