"As you can see, Vince here is modeling the new Secret Service uniform designed by Kenneth Cole"."Suit, shirt, tie, suit, shirt, tie, suit, shirt, tie.....do you see what I'm getting at, Muammar?" "Aww leave me alone!"
"People ask me every day, 'What does a former first lady do with her time after writing her memoires?' Well I'm delighted to tell you all about the wonderful new passtime I've discovered, and that is home proctology. It's easy to learn, fun for the whole family, and rewarding in ways I dare not say on national TV. In my upcoming video entitled 'Orifice One' you'll learn everything you need to know about this little known pleasurable hobby. Now if we can just get my young guest Vincenzo here to lower his hands, I'll demonstrate the new 'I.R.S.' technique I've developed, which you'll see in greater detail when you order the video; a technique that is very quick and leaves no fingerprints... Ready Vincenzo?"