Styleforum › Forums › Lifestyle › Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel › Dating someone with a pet you are allergic to...
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Dating someone with a pet you are allergic to...

post #1 of 36
12/15/09 at 10:50pm
Thread Starter 
Would you date a girl for an extended period of time that you know has a pet you are allergic to?

I have been seeing someone for the last few months that has several cats. While I am very allergic to them, she has made it very clear that she has no intention of ever getting rid of them.

Things have been going well between us, but tonight we had a long conversation about where things were headed and this came up. I asked her what she thought was going to happen if things became more serious and she said that she assumed I would take medication or shots every day to control my allergy.

I have a serious problem with the concept of taking medication every day if I don't have to. I really don't think I would be wiling to take an injection every day to live with a couple of cats that I have no connection to.

Am I being unreasonable? I know she is very attached to her pets and I understand her being unwilling to let go of them.

Is this something that I have to just chalk up to an impassable difference between us and cut things off at this stage before things become too serious?
Reply
Reply
post #2 of 36
12/15/09 at 10:59pm
How could you even consider a person who respects their housepets more than you?
Reply
Reply
post #3 of 36
12/15/09 at 11:02pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by why View Post
How could you even consider a person who respects their housepets more than you?

Very good point.

She has had them for many years (10?), though, and I have only known her for a few months.
Reply
Reply
post #4 of 36
12/15/09 at 11:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by brianja View Post
Very good point.

She has had them for many years (10?), though, and I have only known her for a few months.

What do you think she meant by 'serious'? I'd consider 'serious' (not that it's a conversation I'd ever have -- ugh how ugly) to mean the potentiality of a life together.
Reply
Reply
post #5 of 36
12/15/09 at 11:20pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by brianja View Post
She has had them for many years (10
That's a lot of years of attachment with the cats, I can't imagine that she would get rid of them.
Reply
Reply
post #6 of 36
12/15/09 at 11:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by why View Post
How could you even consider a person who respects their housepets more than you?

What would you expect her to do? It's not a black and white issue of her respecting her pets more than him, it's an obligation that she is upholding to two companions that have been with her for a decade.

I'd move on because putting her in a situation where she'd give up her pets for you would be a source of contention between the two of you, which she'd most likely resent you for what she had to do.
Reply
Reply
post #7 of 36
12/15/09 at 11:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by HORNS View Post

I'd move on because putting her in a situation where she'd give up her pets for you would be a source of contention between the two of you, which she'd most likely resent you for what she had to do.

Yep, one of you is going to be upset with the other. Either she'll be angry about getting rid of the cats or you'll be angry every time the allergist stabs you with a needle.
Reply
Reply
post #8 of 36
12/15/09 at 11:31pm
i currently do; 2 golden retrievers plus tons of shedding = hell..currently though, they are at parents' house so don't have to deal with it much except for family gatherings etc
Reply
Reply
post #9 of 36
12/15/09 at 11:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by HORNS View Post
What would you expect her to do? It's not a black and white issue of her respecting her pets more than him, it's an obligation that she is upholding to two companions that have been with her for a decade.

They're not companions, they're pets. Maybe I'm completely ignorant of what I should feel for pointless animals, but I consider pretty much every person that I know the first and last name of to be more important than animals which provide no benefit and only operate as a false vessel for adoration. If she had snakes or a tarantula, do you think the allergy medication would even be defensible?
Reply
Reply
post #10 of 36
12/15/09 at 11:47pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by why View Post
What do you think she meant by 'serious'? I'd consider 'serious' (not that it's a conversation I'd ever have -- ugh how ugly) to mean the potentiality of a life together.

I think that's what was meant by serious. I don't think that the idea of something looooong term came up on it's own, but more as a result of the cat conversation.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HORNS View Post
What would you expect her to do? It's not a black and white issue of her respecting her pets more than him, it's an obligation that she is upholding to two companions that have been with her for a decade.

I'd move on because putting her in a situation where she'd give up her pets for you would be a source of contention between the two of you, which she'd most likely resent you for what she had to do.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Milhouse View Post
Yep, one of you is going to be upset with the other. Either she'll be angry about getting rid of the cats or you'll be angry every time the allergist stabs you with a needle.

I agree with you two. It really seems like we are at an impasse. She has the cats which I couldn't (wouldn't) ask her to give up and I have the allergy that I have no control over. I wish she could see my point of view on this, though. She seems to think that my refusing to take medication every day is something which she should take personally... as though I dared to choose my health over her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by zillka View Post
i currently do; 2 golden retrievers plus tons of shedding = hell..currently though, they are at parents' house so don't have to deal with it much except for family gatherings etc

Have you ever tried anything to treat the allergy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by why View Post
They're not companions, they're pets. Maybe I'm completely ignorant of what I should feel for pointless animals, but I consider pretty much every person that I know the first and last name of to be more important than animals which provide no benefit and only operate as a false vessel for adoration. If she had snakes or a tarantula, do you think the allergy medication would even be defensible?

I've never had pets growing up, so on some level I am with you on this. I can definitely see how much she cares for these cats, though.
Reply
Reply
post #11 of 36
12/15/09 at 11:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by brianja View Post
I can definitely see how much she cares for these cats, though.
Yes, but my problem with people like her is that the cats are a replacement for something 'real' (e.g. you). It's the overwhelming and purposeless sentimentality that grates on me. In my experience, it's the most grotesque philistines that exude such an obvious character flaw.
Reply
Reply
post #12 of 36
12/16/09 at 4:55am
Suck it up. Allergies are for wimps. On a more serious note, I heard that you get acclimatized to certain cats after awhile. You'll still be allergic to cats in general, but be fine with that specific one. Just take lots of meds in the meantime.
Reply
Reply
post #13 of 36
12/16/09 at 6:19am
If her cats died, would she get another?
Reply
Reply
post #14 of 36
12/16/09 at 11:21am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Threak View Post
If her cats died, would she get another?

Why not? They're so cuuuuuuute.
Reply
Reply
post #15 of 36
12/16/09 at 12:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by why View Post
Yes, but my problem with people like her is that the cats are a replacement for something 'real' (e.g. you). It's the overwhelming and purposeless sentimentality that grates on me. In my experience, it's the most grotesque philistines that exude such an obvious character flaw.

Quote:
Originally Posted by why View Post
Why not? They're so cuuuuuuute.

Enjoy your life of celibacy, why.
Reply
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
Styleforum › Forums › Lifestyle › Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel › Dating someone with a pet you are allergic to...