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Is your best friend of the opposite sex?

post #1 of 110
Thread Starter 
no fegs, im not asking if your wife/gf is your best friend.

how do you balance that friendship when you're in a relationship? for those who say it isnt a problem, your SO is a saint.

i believe it goes without saying that this thread is (no homo).
post #2 of 110
Could you be less vague about that no homo line?
post #3 of 110
I just bag my 'girl' friends too.
post #4 of 110
She might not be my "best" friend but I've maintained regular contact with a girl longer than any of my other friends. How this whole relationship evolved I'm not quite sure but I can say that it's very cool that it happened. I've fucked some of her friends and she has one of mine but those were always just kind of side benefits. What really makes it work for me is that if I ever can't find a "date", she is always there...parties, concerts, shows, etc. I can just call her up and if the engagement is a bunch of people that I know and she doesn't I don't have to babysit or entertain her. She is very adept at socializing in different settings. Ironically we are both very opinionated and on opposite ends of the spectrum on a lot of things and she can piss people off (unless I tell her not to).

Most people, including family and close friends, don't believe we're not "together", even after 15 years of denial. They all tell me how much they love her and how perfect we are together. And we are...but the physical part of it never happened and we moved into the "friend zone" pretty fast. She's had a kid since I've known her so the whole single mother thing probably killed it for me. But again, another side benefit of the relationship is the relationship I've had with her son, who has never even met his father. The two of them are really kind of like my family...but without the obligations.

Only once have the dynamics interfered with a SO. I think most girls really find it cool because I'm one of those always hunting, fishing, poker nights, drinking with my buddies watching the Bears game kind of guys who can be "neglectful" of an SO. And here comes this girl that can totally put me in my place...and they want to be her or something. But for the most part our relationship wanes a lot when I'm involved with a SO.
post #5 of 110
its an impossible situation for me, I ether want to bone them, or i'm not interested in seeing them.
post #6 of 110
Originally Posted by Faded501s View Post

This sounds like the perfect Hollywood rom-com movie formula.
post #7 of 110
Yes, she is.

After 15 years we got drunk and fucked, twice. Didn't have any kind of relationship spark afterward (though she's quite fantastic in the sack, actually).

Only had one girl for whom it was an issue, everyone else has understood that we've known each other since 7th Grade and if we were suddenly going to decide that rom coms do come true, it would have happened a long time ago.
post #8 of 110
My best friend is my dog. Never argues, always loyal, always happy to see me, low maintenance and the list goes on.

Oh this is about women, my bad.
post #9 of 110
Can I have two bestest friends? #1 is a guy, #1.1 is a girl.
post #10 of 110
Thread Starter 
yeah my best friend is female and someone i've known since i was about 7-8 years old when we were in 1st grade. she lived right next door and we just always hung out since there were no other kids living in the cul de sac. we pretty much did everything together, like school (obviously) and swimming. she and her family moved away right at the start of high school, but we always kept in touch. ive even flown down to meet her during the summers and try to visit once a year for the past 4-5 years. we've also gone on vacations together (by ourselves and with friends). to this day i talk to her about 3-4 times a week and i usually text her everyday, which all of my friends think is pretty weird, since she lives across the US.

my ex was not at all enthused about our relationship. while i really liked my ex, her "jealously" about my friend really killed it for me. i tried to explain that if something was to happen between me and my friend, it wouldve happened a LONG time ago (and nothing ever has, except for some make out sessions).

she is an important person in my life and im finding that it is starting to get hard reconciling this relationship with my intimate/romantic ones. in the past if an ultimatum ever came up where i had to choose between my friend and my gf, the gf went bye-bye. it wasn't even close- im just that loyal to her. which is why i've never been in a relationship that has lasted over one year. maybe im just attracted to crazy ass broads. who knows. maybe im also being unreasonable, but there are personal reasons why i choose to keep in close contact with this friend of mine.

i dunno. ive been sitting around re-evaluating my life right now because it is setting up to be an epic fail, so i kinda want to try and make some sense of it.
post #11 of 110
Not really. I've always found that romantic tendencies always seemed to get in the way or were what was maintaining the relationship. The one exception is a friend from high school who I've remained pretty close with, but even then, not that close. Nothing like texting every day or anything like that.
post #12 of 110
I don't understand. Is it like, that your friends are all male, and girls are something you fuck? I've always lived in a world where I have a roughly equal number of male and female friends, and am close to a roughly equal number of females and males. My girlfriend has always had things the same way. Just because you're friends with a girl doesn't mean you want to fuck her, I believe in the idea that opposite-sex friendships are always painted with at least one person in the friendship is somewhat attracted to the other person. But just because that is the case, doesn't mean either person will ever act on it. If I'm mildly attracted to girl A, and am very attracted to girl B, and am currently going out with girl B and very good friends with girl A... Why would girl A even be on my radar when I'm fucking girl B?
post #13 of 110
It must get weird for the partner of your "friend" when you decide to spend time together with your opposite sex buddy.
post #14 of 110
Try telling your girlfriend that your friend is like a sister.

Of course, it won't work, since it is logic and crazy chicks don't have a functioning logic control unit in their head.
post #15 of 110
Thread Starter 
i have friends of both sexes. i have few friends. i have fewer close friends. i have one best friend who is a she.

i guess what seems weird to people is this concept of a "best friend." most of the people i know tend to spread their time somewhat evenly between their friends. it isnt so much of having friends as it is belonging to a clique. isn't there someone who you're really close to other than your SO/family? a lifelong friend?

but yeah, she is pretty much like a sister to me.
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