pre 1 night stand/hook up dialogue and stories - Page 3

ok, i see new hot girl in boxing class. This has rarity immediately. Eyebrows raised, and lots of ppl politely introduce themselves, cos that is what happens. I don't. I move around and mostly talk to the guys. Theyre all friends, and I hadn't been to class in a while, so people are happy to see me back etc. This is a much better opening than clumsily stumbling over to her and saying 'ya uh um...hi...im...uh...matt...you uhh wanna grab coffee or like something uh sometime'. So her first impression is some guy who everyone is glad to see. Take her out of the equation, I would have been doing the exact same thing if she wasn't there - and that's true. Catching up with my friends, and being glad to see them too. Still, it scores some social approval points or something. When it is time for me to rotate over to her (advanced/beginner pairing things) I say 'so, who the fuck are you?' She is more accustomed to polite intros, a little shocked, laughs a bit, and mostly wonders why this guy isnt going out of his way to be nice. I work with her at boxing, talk a little, joke a little just about what she is doing, help her....impress her with my 'de thuong' (cute) Vietnamese, and learn that she is from beach town of Nha Trang. I tell her the bread is great there, but that all the women are ugly. She laughs and says they are 'dep ma' (dep = beautiful, ma is just kind of a suffix to accent it). Bell rings, I rotate, thank her for working with me, like I do for everyone else, and move on. Class ends, I wander over and ask if she enjoyed it. She did. Talk a little about how she is a trainer and aerobics teacher. I say 'you dont seem like an aerobics teacher', she asks what that means, I say 'I dont know, you just seem different to the others here' (i know that sounds cheesy, but it sorta came out more natural than it repeats here). Anyhow, my hands are unwrapped by this time, I say 'tis a small town, I am sure I shall see you in it' and say goodbye, she kinda lingers a bit, so I said 'but actually, we could just figure a way for that....khong, chin.......' (khong = zero, chin = nine, this is how most cell phone numbers in Vietnam start) and she called out the next number...and seven digits later, I had her digits. She was actually back in Nha Trang over the weekend, and I am kinda busy and then away this weekend, so I won't see her for a while (unless she is back at boxing tomorrow...not sure), but anyhow, that's the blow by blow for you.

According to your avatar, I am for sale (and quite cheap).

haha, that's like ten Australian dollars right there, but you can probably haggle with the guy oh and I used the 'heeey, who the fuck are you line' on some tall Canadian woman the other night at a friend's going away, she just laughed, gets kinda taken aback, and tells me that she's 'Jen'. Then her pig ugly British friend fell on me, spilled drink all over the place, and started asking me how well I know a guy called Mark. I barely know him, but the conversation with 'jen' was derailed into Karen's Mark Crush and never managed to get quite back on track. Another one I use a lot - and this is shamelessly stolen from the PUA guys, but I can honestly say, is a great conversation piece with women after you have been talking to them for a half hour at least (any earlier, it's creepy)..."tell me three things you have going for you besides the way you look - and youre not allowed to say smart or funny, cos everyone says that". You get in awesome conversations with that one...especially if you critique them a little as they go (eg "I mean, it's great that you're ambitious, but does that mean you kind of miss out on enjoying all that you have now by constantly looking for something better?"). You have to prepare your own answers for when they ask it back of you. I have a date tonight with a Burmese chick...seems really nice....ex flight attendant, now runs a spa...I think I may ask her that actually.

On an airplane last month: Sat down next to some 18 year old chick "Hi." "Hi." "Wanna listen to music?" "OK"...later..."Would you mind sharing your blanket; the ones here suck" "OK". I didn't speak another word the whole night, but sex ensued an hour later in the bathroom. Last year at the front desk of my apartment complex I meet some Australian chick. "Hi." "Hi." "So who'd your grandfather murder?" I proceed to rag on Australians for 5 minutes. 30 minutes later, we're in her room. Those are my only one-time hook ups. I don't do it often, because normally I don't find it very enjoyable. The first one I did because she was a hot *** 18 year old and, moreso, I wanted to have sex on an airplane. The second was because she was Australian. I love Australians.

I was headed to a bar frequented by Georgetown students in the early 1990s, when I came in the door. The bar went silent as everyone turned to look at this 5'6" Asian. I responded to the attention by bellowing, in a deep and echoing Asian accent, "WHO WANTS TO SEX ACIDIC?!??"

I am trying to imitate this out loud. Wife thinks mind is gone, on a side note, she wants to sex me now. Thanx Acidic!!!

You're supposed to use your own name I think, but did it work anyway?

This works. "Who are you??" is also effective in mixed company.

this thread = fail

Mystery would be so proud. Aloof, cool, you even got your neg in.

me: "yo wen u gona let me tap dat ass"
her: "ur a pig"
me: "il take u shopping after i promsie"
her: "half hour tops"

I disagree. "Who are you" lacks punch screw the sensitivities of the rest of them. Said properly, with a combination of mischief, roguish charm and feigned malice, 'Who the fuck are you?' is at once disarming, intriguing and can't be ignored.
It works even better when you say it to a third party as in "And who the fuck is this?"
Add a strong and confident, declarative but tongue-in-cheek follow up such as "because she's fucking heart stopping."
and you have stood out from the mild mannered masses, displayed your unapologetic confidence and machismo, elicited her attention and intrigued her and declared your intentions all at once.

not really my style to do this sort of thing but it has happened my buddy was having friends over one night. girl from downstairs in same apt building came by. it was getting late and the party was winding down. dont hold me to it word for word, but this is what i think was said her: "its getting late, im think im gonna go to bed" me: "is that an invitation?" i said this completely kidding, but i was drunk so maybe it came out different, or maybe she heard it different cuz she was drunk her: "you're dirty" with a big fucking grin on her face me: "you dont know me" as i grab her hand and take her home.