Originally Posted by George Carlin
Have you noticed this? Sometimes you'll get in a rut with they way you say goodbye. Do you find yourself using the same phrase over and over again with everybody? And you feel a little stupid, you know? Like if you're leaving a party and you have to say goodbye to 5 or 6 people in a row. And you say: "OK, hey, take it easy." "OK, hey, take it easy." "OK, hey, take it easy." "OK, hey, take it easy." "OK, hey, take it easy." You feel like a ******* moron. So you know what I do? Every month I change the way I say goodbye. Whether I need to or not, every month I start using a different phrase. People like that - they notice that little extra effort. They'll say to me, "Pardon me, but didn't you use to say, 'OK, hey, take it easy'?" and I say, "Yes I did, but not anymore." Now I say, "Farewell!" "Farewell till we meet again." "Peace be with you. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." That's a strong one isn't? People will remember you if you talk like that. Or sometimes you can combine several ways to say goodbye that don't seem to go together. Like, "Toodleoo, go with God and don't take any wooden nickels." Then people don't know what the **** you're talking about. Or you can say goodbye in a realistic manner: "So long Steve. Don't let self-doubt interfere with your plans to improve your life." Now here's a situation you run into all the time. Do you notice how when you're leaving someone many times they'll give you a message to give to someone else? Like they'll say, "Give my love to Klaus." "Tell Klaus Rebecca sends her love." Do you mind that? Do you mind being used that way? Do you mind the awesome responsibility of having to carry Rebecca's love to Klaus? Suppose you don't see Klaus. What are you going to do with Rebecca's love? Carry it around? Give it to someone else, maybe: "Wilhelm, I can't find Klaus. Here's some of Rebecca's love." Suppose Wilhelm doesn't know Rebecca. Can he legally accept her love? Especially when it was intended for Klaus. Suppose you give Wilhelm Rebecca's love for Klaus and then you see Klaus, what are you going to give him? All you had was Rebecca's love and you've already gone and given that to Wilhelm. Can you logically ask Wilhelm to give back Rebecca's love to Klaus? Maybe he's gotten used to it by now. Can Klaus sue Wilhelm? Can Wilhelm be arrested? Can you be arrested for transporting love across a state line? Alright, just for the sake of argument, let's leave Wilhelm out of this altogether. Suppose Rebecca gives you her love to give to Klaus and you do see Klaus. What form should the love take? Can you risk giving Klaus a tongue kiss? Which brings up another problem: Maybe Klaus is gay. Klaus doesn't want Rebecca's love. Klaus wants Wilhelm's love! If Klaus tells you to give his love to Wilhelm, say, "Bull**** Klaus! You give your own love to Wilhelm. I'm going to find Rebecca." And sometimes people want you to take a hug and a kiss to someone for them. Now they've got you carrying cargo. "Give them a big hug and a kiss for me!" Usually it's women. I find that women are a little more expressive at times like these. And sometimes they're really explicit: "Bye, bye, Elena. Drive carefully. And give Jake a big ******* for me!" Well, why don't you have Klaus take care of that for you?