Originally Posted by LA Guy
Um, Steve, Gary, Johnnynorman, j., Brian, Fabienne, and a few others would know for sure why trouble finds me. The rest of you will just have to speculate. I'm actually a pretty laid back guy. Sometimes I can run my mouth, but that has never, in and of itself, gotten me into any serious situations.
I am 5'11" and 152 lbs as of today. So no, not a big guy by any means, though reasonably athletic.
ooh I can play this game!
Before you were married, you made it a point to sleep with everyone's mother in LA, and then you posted about it on a blog called "I slept with your mother, and she's no good in bed" With pictures. And then... you stole people's credit card numbers, and signed them up for illegal porn websites... and you make it a habit to randomly pinch people's nipples and flick cigarette butts at their genitals... and due to a gradeschool superglue accident, your fingers are stuck to your lips in the form of a "v" so that when you talk, it looks like you are giving people a gesture that represents cunningulus. Lesbians hate that BTW, they think you are making fun of them. You uncontrollably projectile vomit when someone makes eye contact with you, its a pavlovian response. And um... you have a horribly medical condition that has physically transformed you into a person who just looks like their ass should be beat.
Oh, and you are a kleptomaniac.