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Never diddle the secretary:A public service announcement from GQGeek

post #1 of 53
Thread Starter 
This might seem like commonsense, but I think a lot of men still fall in to this particular trap every year. Never EVER mess around with the secretary at work. It might seem fun at the time, but it always comes back to bite you in the ass.

Here I am, more than a year after the fact, and I can now look forward to getting blasted tomorrow because she's a hotheaded little b*tch with no control over her emotions.

The worst part is that I was trying to help her with something but instead of showing me the steps that led to the problem, she for some reason started getting irritated (probably had to do with the fact that I was taking her away from reading The DaVinci Code) and started raising her voice louder and louder until she was screaming at me. I was trying to ignore it and just figure out what the problem was but she wouldn't relent. Another employee walked past the desk I was helping her at and said "woah, calm down there." (to the girl, not me). She didn't. Now I've got pretty thick skin and I can take quite a bit, but after a few minutes of trying to get her to cooperate with her yelling in my ear the whole time, I basically said that when she was ready to stop acting like a little bitch (with the way she was talking to me this was putting it very mildly), to come get me and I'd help her with the problem. It was actually the second time today that I'd tried to get her to sit down and explain what was happening. The first time, a minute after I got there, she just walked-off and disappeared for 30 minutes...

I'm not tech support. The problem wasn't something that I had created. I was just trying to help solve a problem that concerned the business. What I said was completely justified in my mind, but damn did she explode after that. Those crazy women on Jerry Spring ain't got nothing on her. Needless to say, I got the hell out of there because I don't like scenes and I wasn't about to start a screaming match with her.

After the fact I realize I should have just walked away without saying anything, but it's hard to just take it sometimes. Especially when it's not the first time she takes that attitude with you because she thinks she can get away with it.

Of course, she's the ones with the tits and one of the owners likes them so I'm the one that's gonna catch all the shit tomorrow even though the only offensive thing I said came after several minutes of her talking very loudly at me. To think I loved the girl at one time... What was I thinking? It turns out she's a complete psychotic!

At least I learned one thing... I will NEVER EVER be tempted to dip my pen in company ink again!

Anyone else been through a similar situation?
post #2 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by GQgeek
I basically said that when she was ready to stop acting like a little bitch (with the way she was talking to me this was putting it very mildly).

Mate, I don't care the circumstance I don't think you should call any bird this. Think of your mum in this situation.
post #3 of 53
I'd be more scared of a harassment suit. Someone could fashion a wallet-gouging winner out of that story.
post #4 of 53
You... probably want to delete this message. Or put it hypothetically, or something.
post #5 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by j
You... probably want to delete this message. Or put it hypothetically, or something.
LOL, you seem to have the law on the brain lately
If you're bored, look up hearsay and each of the exceptions. this is just like law school!

Thanks for gqgeek for the PSA.
post #6 of 53
Yeah, no kidding GQG. There are not too many good outcomes to this tale.
post #7 of 53
Yeah dude, you left yourself in the most vulnerable and unfair of all workplace legal situations. Your right nut is in the company vice, and your left nut is in hers. If she decides she wants to squeeze, the company you work for is going to HAVE TO SQUEEZE TOO. You have no legal protection or recourse. She can claim harassment at any time, for anything. You don't even have to have had sex, or said anything bad. At a previous job I had an official company complaint filed against me for opening the door for a lady manager once. She felt that I was only opening the door for her because I wanted to look at her behind. That was enough to merit an official district investigation, a three hour sit-down with my manager, her manager, the district manager, and the west coast manager. I pointed out that I thought the entire idea was absurd, and that the sexual harassment video itself (that they make EVERY employee watch once a year) pointed out that nobody would ever be fired for courtesy or chivalry (and gave the example of opening the door for a lady to illustrate) This is the only thing that saved me from being fired and a potential lawsuit brought against me by this woman. She, incidentally, was screwing around with every member of management in the store, doing things like changing her clothes in the employee lounge while staff members were in there eating, and flirting incessantly with every male in the company (including me). Up until she sent a store wide 5 page email telling all 70 employees how "violated I made her feel" and that I was constantly pawing at her or whatever, I just assumed that she was a relatively friendly nymphomaniac. I had a completely professional relationship with her, and yeah, I admired her physical attributes on occasion. I mean I'm a friggin guy, and she would take her shirt and pants off in front of mixed company. I thought we were friends and coworkers. Instead she ended up being a completely psycho bitch with some completely imagined vendetta against me. If it weren't for that stupid, cheezy harassment video, I would have been out on my ass in a heartbeat. Rumor has it, that there is no longer an illustrated example of what will NOT get you fired in the video. She still works for the company somewhere, and no doubt has been promoted several times since then. I no longer work there. (I quit)
post #8 of 53
good luck with this
post #9 of 53
Perhaps, that's why the three-martini lunch fell out of favor.
post #10 of 53
Thread Starter 
I'm not the type to lose my temper and I always treat women I deal with exceptionally well. After she stopped seeing me and went back to her bf (who does treat her like shit btw), I continued to treat her with the utmost respect because i didn't want problems at work.

I know what I said was a mistake, but only in the sense that I'll probably get in trouble for it. However, I'm not the least bit sorry for what I said. I'm sure this stance will catch me some flak from some of the gentlemen who do no wrong, but she pushed me so far that I honestly didn't care whether or not she was a female. Even when I did react, I did so very calmly and I walked out.

Like I said, this isn't the first time she's given me extreme attitude, and I've always held it in, but sometimes even the most cool-headed guy can be pushed to his limits.

Do you guys really think that no matter what a "lady" (and I use the term loosely for someone that behaves as she did) does that you should always just take it?
post #11 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by Renault78law
LOL, you seem to have the law on the brain lately
If you're bored, look up hearsay and each of the exceptions. this is just like law school!

Thanks for gqgeek for the PSA.
I know about all that, but what is admissible in a court of law is not always the same as what a company will use against a person to fire him. His choice obviously.
post #12 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by GQgeek
I'm not the type to lose my temper and I always treat women I deal with exceptionally well. After she stopped seeing me and went back to her bf (who does treat her like shit btw), I continued to treat her with the utmost respect because i didn't want problems at work. I know what I said was a mistake, but only in the sense that I'll probably get in trouble for it. However, I'm not the least bit sorry for what I said. I'm sure this stance will catch me some flak from some of the gentlemen who do no wrong, but she pushed me so far that I honestly didn't care whether or not she was a female. Even when I did react, I did so very calmly and I walked out. Like I said, this isn't the first time she's given me extreme attitude, and I've always held it in, but sometimes even the most cool-headed guy can be pushed to his limits. Do you guys really think that no matter what a "lady" (and I use the term loosely for someone that behaves as she did) does that you should always just take it?
I'm all for sticking up for yourself, but you have to be willing to get that black mark on your permanent record for it. You must also realize that she has all the weapons. She has already won. She has your career, all your money, and potentially your criminal record in the palm of her hand. All she has to do is squeeze. I would ask for a transfer. I've been known to say that I would physically strike a woman after being swung at by them. I won't hold back either. They should know that swinging at someone with the intent to injure them has dire consequences in the modern era of so called "equal rights". In my opinion, if anyone swings a closed fist at me, or tries to kick me, woman, man, animal, cartoon, alien or whatever, I am under attack and will defend myself with whatever force I deem neccesary, usually a permanently crippling injury or disfigurement. I NEVER, NEVER, NEVER let them get the upper hand on me though. That was your first mistake.
post #13 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by GQgeek
I'm not the type to lose my temper and I always treat women I deal with exceptionally well. After she stopped seeing me and went back to her bf (who does treat her like shit btw), I continued to treat her with the utmost respect because i didn't want problems at work.

I know what I said was a mistake, but only in the sense that I'll probably get in trouble for it. However, I'm not the least bit sorry for what I said. I'm sure this stance will catch me some flak from some of the gentlemen who do no wrong, but she pushed me so far that I honestly didn't care whether or not she was a female. Even when I did react, I did so very calmly and I walked out.

Like I said, this isn't the first time she's given me extreme attitude, and I've always held it in, but sometimes even the most cool-headed guy can be pushed to his limits.

Do you guys really think that no matter what a "lady" (and I use the term loosely for someone that behaves as she did) does that you should always just take it?


not at all - I would have no problem hitting a woman, if I needed to. and I certainly have been known to use language that would melt the paint off a ship with women, as needed.

but you don't want to lose your job here.
post #14 of 53
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by j
I know about all that, but what is admissible in a court of law is not always the same as what a company will use against a person to fire him. His choice obviously.

The company would never fire me for this. I'll get yelled at a bit and that'll be the end of it. I'm a) too valuable to lose over something this small and b) I have too much leverage on them and they know it. They'd never risk me divulging what I know over a girl they can control.

You're a good guy for warning me though.
post #15 of 53
I don't have a problem telling someone to quit being a bitch. I certainly don't envision myself taking a load of sh** like you did GQG. But the diddling part put you in what is probably an indefensible position before you even opened your mouth. She can (and probably will) make up all kinds of b.s. about GQG did this, and GQG did that, and now you're slinging around profanity at her... I'd be prepared for a real sh**storm tomorrow, and hope the truth is ample defense.
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