Quote:
Originally Posted by clee1982 
I was not the one who did it, it f*ed up me pretty badly, but time, and positive attitude did eventually help me get out of it. It took 2.5 years, a lot longer than it should, but I was pretty f*ed up at that point, also did a major geographical and career change after that. It end up being better, at least up till now. Honestly if you ask me, it shouldn't take 2.5 years, initially it was just like a tape in your head that's keep rewinding and you can't shut it down, you're forced to watch every little detail, and all these details become "mistake" that you think you can "fix", when in reality it is just what it is.
You have to eventually reconcile with yourself, and reconcile with her, her in real person and her in your mind, i.e. where does she occupy in your mind, no doubt a special place, but not a lover, not a friend, somewhere different. You can try to forget, but that never worked for me, so I wouldn't recommend, of course someone else might differ.
I think I only get out because eventually I had enough of it, I told myself life cannot go on like this I had to move on, end up quitting phd program and got a job in NYC, moving out and meeting new people definitely helps, just make sure you don't abandon your old friends.
You have to eventually reconcile with yourself, and reconcile with her, her in real person and her in your mind, i.e. where does she occupy in your mind, no doubt a special place, but not a lover, not a friend, somewhere different. You can try to forget, but that never worked for me, so I wouldn't recommend, of course someone else might differ.
I think I only get out because eventually I had enough of it, I told myself life cannot go on like this I had to move on, end up quitting phd program and got a job in NYC, moving out and meeting new people definitely helps, just make sure you don't abandon your old friends.
+1
The way that I eventually "got over" The Breakup, was the realization that what was is not, and never will be again. That what I missed wasn't her but the way that she once made me feel - the memory of her, and that she could no loger make me feel that way. Whenever I would start to think counterproductive/repetitive thoughts I would have to actually say these words to myself (in my head), until the moment passed. Good luck!
