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What do you do if your tailor tells you you're fat? - Page 5

post #61 of 140
Quote:
Originally Posted by mjHession View Post
This one is for some laughs, as well as some advice. I recently decided I wanted to find a better tailor in my area (30 min north of Philly). I find about this guy Joe Centofani, he seems to be regarded as the best around here on SF, so I go in there and I think it's his daughter who probably about mid 40's, tells me im too young to be this big (im 24 and wear a 48r). I told her that i have lost some weight a few years ago, but have sat where im at for a while now. I was about 350lbs, now around 260. She doesn't take the time to even pin my sleeves at the same length, joe noticed this though and pointed it out to her, then when I was leaving she says (maybe as a joke) i only need to loose 40 more pounds to look good in a suit. Should I go somewhere else or just deal with her comments? Sure I know i'm fat, but i don't need her telling me. Also I want to build a relationship with my tailor, not sure how that will happen with her.

Thoughts?

Basically, there are three problems here: 1) how you feel you were treated, 2) the job a tailor is supposed to do with people and 3) what overweight means.
Obviously, you were not treated well. Making comments on things you did not ask for is not very polite. I feel though that such comments are very common in some mediterannean cultures and rather than being arrogant, people who make them want to show some interest for your person(they are overprotective in a way: because we like you, we are telling you what is best for you). Obviously again, this was counter-productive because she did not understand how YOU felt about it.
If a tailor prefers to only work with slim people, he would not get many customers I think. One of the biggest advantages with bespoke is that virtually every body type can have bespoke suits, while every body type can not have RTW that fit perfectly.
Last but not least: overweight or obesity is something made by the slim to torture the others. They do that Because they think they are the norm. They think they are virtuous When we will become the majority, bro, we will torture them for being too lean. What about that?
post #62 of 140
I used to be fat but I did something about it. Now I'm a LOT happier and can wear pretty much whatever I want and look good.

That tailor you went to wasn't very polite, but the truth hurts sometimes.

myke
post #63 of 140
Quote:
Originally Posted by JensenH View Post
OP said the woman "tells me im too young to be this big" How is this "going out of one's way to ridicule?

I'm referring to the last comment, particularly. The appointment was over and he was no longer being fitted, etc. He was walking out the door. The comment didn't have anything to do with the suit he was getting tailored.

Quote:
A good tailor is suppose to give you his/her honest opinions and advice on how to dress in addition to making clothes for you. Whether or not you take their advice is your peragotive.

I've provided examples of appropriate comments a tailor could make that include the subject of weight; they all revolve around the particular transaction the two parties are engaging in. It seems that the daughter's parting shot didn't have anything to do with customer service, and at its root, it didn't really have anything to do with her profession: "you're too large to look good in a suit" could just as easily have been "you're too large to look good in jeans and button-down shirts" or "you're too large to look good in trousers and work jackets" or "you're too large to look good in your birthday suit". You can fill in the blank with any category of clothing that even a large man might need to wear, because at its root, the comment has nothing to do with the clothes. It is simply peanut-gallery commentary on one's weight and its effects on appearance. Hence my objection.

Quote:
Again, I would rather hear the truth that perhaps stings a bit than hear fawning salespeak that does nothing but strokes my ego.

That's a good attitude, but this situation has nothing to do with the concept of sales-speak, as I've already pointed out. If I ask you "does this shirt make me look fat?" then feel free to speak candidly. If I am asking you to make me slim-fit pants, go ahead and tell me I'm too large to look good in them, that my necessity for trousers can be better served with a different style. If I am walking by you on my way out the door, on the other hand, you have no reason, need, or justification to offer an opinion, positive or negative. "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" remains good advice after all these years.
post #64 of 140
Quote:
Originally Posted by blackbowtie View Post
Also rowing machines - very low impact and much more challenging when done with proper technique than it might look.


+1
post #65 of 140
Well I think everybody's answer comes down to how they feel about the situation. If you wouldn't appreciate it then you are likely to be offended by the lady's remarks. If you are like me and would appreciate the honesty then you are likely not going to be offended.

If I were in your shoes (and I recently was) I would take the hint and start dropping some weight.
post #66 of 140
The lady may tell the truth but I don't think this will have a happy ending.
post #67 of 140
I don't think that I would do business with them.

on the other hand, I don't think that there was malice involved. some people are just clueless
post #68 of 140
Quote:
Originally Posted by mjHession View Post
This one is for some laughs, as well as some advice. I recently decided I wanted to find a better tailor in my area (30 min north of Philly). I find about this guy Joe Centofani, he seems to be regarded as the best around here on SF, so I go in there and I think it's his daughter who probably about mid 40's, tells me im too young to be this big (im 24 and wear a 48r). I told her that i have lost some weight a few years ago, but have sat where im at for a while now. I was about 350lbs, now around 260. She doesn't take the time to even pin my sleeves at the same length, joe noticed this though and pointed it out to her, then when I was leaving she says (maybe as a joke) i only need to loose 40 more pounds to look good in a suit. Should I go somewhere else or just deal with her comments? Sure I know i'm fat, but i don't need her telling me. Also I want to build a relationship with my tailor, not sure how that will happen with her.

Thoughts?
She said you were too big not too fat. She may have been forward but no need for you to exaggerate either.
post #69 of 140
Maybe what she was really trying to say is "you would be a very handsome young man if you just lost some more weight". Or perhaps since you were only looking for alterations, she was trying (in an odd way) to say that there wouldn't be much she could do with the clothes you brought in since you are a not of a proportion that lends to altering OTR clothing. I find that the comments in stories like this are often embellished and are not nearly as bad as the scorned individual makes it out to be. Oh and finally, you should keep losing weight man. You'll thank yourself a thousand times over. Good luck.
post #70 of 140
Quote:
Originally Posted by blackbowtie View Post
Also rowing machines - very low impact and much more challenging when done with proper technique than it might look.
And so few people use proper technique! But to mjHession, I'd just never go back to the place, no other explanation needed! Lost business always hits people where it hurts, and rudeness (whether intentional or not) shouldn't be rewarded.
post #71 of 140
Thread Starter 
Update:

I called the tailor today, and spoke with him directly, He was at first very short with me, and told me to call back when his daughter came in. I think it is the norm for him to pass off smaller ordeals to her. After thinking for a bit I called back and told him that I was displeased that he wouldn't even hear my question and told him I was just going to come in and pick up my coat (it is a morning coat for my wedding needed to be let out and inch turns out there is no material to let out) and I said I would just pick up and get my other two coats while I was their if you don't want to work with me I'll jsut take my business elsewhere.

When I got there it was like I was in a whole different shop. The daughter approached me, I told her I was there to pick up my coat, she said i think dad wants to talk to you. He had me try on each jacket, spoke in detail to me about what adjustments could be made for each one, and what was probably worth doing and what was not. Then he had me try on the morning coat, gave me a few suggestions, 1 putting in a bigger lining and stretching the wool, 2 leaving the coat unbuttoned as that would probably look okay, 3 getting a piece of cloth from the manufacturer and adding a seam to the back or one to each side, I called the manufacturer and they have left over cloth from these coats, they are going to send me some free I just have t pay for shipping and he is going to make it fit right. Also the women remeasured the sleeves on the two coats i was leaving there and spent much greater time and effort in getting them right, asking me what I thought each time, and making slight adjustments a few times till they were right spot on.

Very satisfied now. Not sure if I hit a bad day, or what but I am super satisfied now.

Note: I am working on loosing weight, but since I already have a future wife it's not the biggest concern of mine. Slow and steady. Again maybe the AT will knock off a few inches, we'll see next summer.
post #72 of 140
Glad it worked out great in the end, sometimes all you need is a good talk.
post #73 of 140
Quote:
Originally Posted by unjung View Post
You'd prefer your tailor lie to you? Unless you're in the NFL, or are 6'8", you're fat.
But does a tailor need to tell you this? Did mjHession ask the tailor if he was fat? You're paying them to make you look as good as you can at your current weight, and after they've finished they call you fat? This is acceptable in your book?
post #74 of 140
Quote:
Originally Posted by mjHession View Post
Update:

I called the tailor today, and spoke with him directly, He was at first very short with me, and told me to call back when his daughter came in. I think it is the norm for him to pass off smaller ordeals to her. After thinking for a bit I called back and told him that I was displeased that he wouldn't even hear my question and told him I was just going to come in and pick up my coat (it is a morning coat for my wedding needed to be let out and inch turns out there is no material to let out) and I said I would just pick up and get my other two coats while I was their if you don't want to work with me I'll jsut take my business elsewhere.

When I got there it was like I was in a whole different shop. The daughter approached me, I told her I was there to pick up my coat, she said i think dad wants to talk to you. He had me try on each jacket, spoke in detail to me about what adjustments could be made for each one, and what was probably worth doing and what was not. Then he had me try on the morning coat, gave me a few suggestions, 1 putting in a bigger lining and stretching the wool, 2 leaving the coat unbuttoned as that would probably look okay, 3 getting a piece of cloth from the manufacturer and adding a seam to the back or one to each side, I called the manufacturer and they have left over cloth from these coats, they are going to send me some free I just have t pay for shipping and he is going to make it fit right. Also the women remeasured the sleeves on the two coats i was leaving there and spent much greater time and effort in getting them right, asking me what I thought each time, and making slight adjustments a few times till they were right spot on.

Very satisfied now. Not sure if I hit a bad day, or what but I am super satisfied now.

Note: I am working on loosing weight, but since I already have a future wife it's not the biggest concern of mine. Slow and steady. Again maybe the AT will knock off a few inches, we'll see next summer.

sometimes you need to rap a guy on the nose for him to pay attention.



ok, I didn't want to pile on about the weight loss, but then I noticed that you are getting married.

after I got married, I put on something in the niehgborhood of 150 pounds over 10 years. now I am loosing them. it is a slow and painful process. be very careful - it will be very easy to stay in, sit on the couch and have some ice cream. it will creep up on you.

control it now or you will be sorry. good luck
post #75 of 140
Quote:
Originally Posted by IBJanky View Post
I used to be fat but I did something about it. Now I'm a LOT happier and can wear pretty much whatever I want and look good.

That tailor you went to wasn't very polite, but the truth hurts sometimes.

myke

+1
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