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Falling for a girl w/a kid - Page 2

post #16 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by tiger02
20% of all Americans don't know who their real Daddy is anyway. Sucks, doesn't it?
What about the 25% who don't know who there mama is either......I guess that is why everywhere I go, some dumb-ass says..."Who's yo mama?"....it is all coming to me now. Thank the lord I have no children!
post #17 of 61
Have you already met the child?
post #18 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fabienne
Have you already met the child?

Very good point - because if you have not yet met the child, I would keep it that way - at least in the early stages. If you two get to the point where you want to make it serious, that's the time to let the kid know that mommy has a new friend.

Just remember - if it doesn't work out, it's going to be harder on the kid than on you and your girl. Plus - the kid probably already has some residual guilt from the divorce/separation.

I went with a couple of girls with kids, but other issues ultimately drove us apart. I have a very good friend who married a girl with two young kids and they call him dad and it's working great. You just have to be very careful and remember that everything you and your girl do affects the child, her ex and possibly other people as well.
post #19 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martinis at 8
Move on without the baggage.

It's nice to say, "I am the parent of my own children".

M8

I don't know, "I love him as much as if he were my own" doesn't sound so bad.
post #20 of 61
Here's another "pompous ass" comment, just for you LA Guy.

"The single parent and the new prospective mate will discuss the issue of the child as if it were an inanimate object."

Cheers,

PA
post #21 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by Margaret
I don't know, "I love him as much as if he were my own" doesn't sound so bad.

For that matter, a simple "I love him" is everything; it warps space and time.

Regards,
Huntsman
post #22 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martinis at 8
Here's another "pompous ass" comment, just for you LA Guy.

"The single parent and the new prospective mate will discuss the issue of the child as if it were an inanimate object."

Cheers,

PA

I've decided that I'm just going to ignore your posts except for moderation purposes from now on. You're really not worth my attention.
post #23 of 61
it wouldnt work me *me* because I can't stand children....but if you like her kid and you like kids, then go where the heart takes you but tread carefully. It would suck to really genuinely bond with the kid and then not have things work out with the girl and you end up walking out of the kid's life. It's a big decision in its own way, good luck with it.
post #24 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by LA Guy
I've decided that I'm just going to ignore your posts except for moderation purposes from now on. You're really not worth my attention.

Uh, okay. Caught you not ignoring, eh?

At least I never call anybody any names.

Cheers,

M8
post #25 of 61
Children have a very strong ability to adapt. The woman will be monitoring the depth of your relationship with her child. If you drop out of the child's life, chances are mechanisms to reduce the damage are already in place, whether you are aware of this or not.
post #26 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by johnapril
Children have a very strong ability to adapt. The woman will be monitoring the depth of your relationship with her child. If you drop out of the child's life, chances are mechanisms to reduce the damage are already in place, whether you are aware of this or not.

john,

sounds like somebody has first hand experience with this.
post #27 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by johnapril
Children have a very strong ability to adapt. The woman will be monitoring the depth of your relationship with her child. If you drop out of the child's life, chances are mechanisms to reduce the damage are already in place, whether you are aware of this or not.

Probably true in a lot of cases. Also, it's amazing how quickly children can forget a person, sometimes out of sheer survival. However, I wonder what it does to a child to be repeatedly befriended, only for the person to drop out of their life after a few months.
post #28 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by ken
Falling for a girl w/a kid
I think I am. Cautions?

You asked the question. Any thoughts on the feedback you've received so far?
post #29 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martinis at 8
Move on without the baggage.

Also for the girl, worst gift a parent can give a kid is a step-parent. Doesn't even matter if it's a good step-parent.

It's nice to say, "I am the parent of my own children".

M8

I'm stunned.

Referring to a child as "baggage" is such a gross, inhumane comment that words are escaping me to respond to it.
post #30 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martinis at 8
I would ditch the lowlife real parent too, but just not hook up again. Choose wisely the first time, and if one chooses wrong, then don't choose again.

M8

I can think of about 2,000 Iraq War widows who might have chosen "wisely the first time," but who nonetheless might fall in love again.

And your smart-ass answer to them would be...?
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