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Confidence - Popular Beliefs

post #1 of 24
Thread Starter 
All over the Internet, you can find men (it's almost always men) writing at length that confidence leads to success.

In part, it does. But appearance arguably plays a bigger role. (If you look bad enough, you won't be given the chance to verbally express your sureness of self.) The confidence "experts" barely refer to it.

Most men keep to themselves the knowledge that their confidence is affected by where they think they rank in facial and bodily attractiveness.

Men seem to suspect that how they dress also affects confidence and, to a point, can compensate for unhappiness with other aspects of appearance.

If men knew how much clothes and grooming affect confidence and performance, if they were familiar with the research, would that make them care more about how they dress on dates? In daily life? This company's mission is to achieve that (well-dressed men as the rule rather than the exception) on a large scale, and people here seem to want that also, so what do you think?
post #2 of 24
I think you're right on the money. It's amazing how differently people treat me now that I wear suits instead of what I used to wear (jeans & black tshirts).
post #3 of 24
i disagree

i used to dress like a dumbass in my middle years of high school, but my personality was the always brashest. i was the most aggressive, confrontational (not in a violent way) dude there. this was very apparent in group situations, like classroom discussions and whatnot

initially, people were loath to talk to me because i looked like an idiot. however, after a couple of months of class, most of my classmates (both girls and guys) learnt to enjoy my unique style of company, and i made friends

i will concede that:
1) this did not happen by my design
2) it was a gradual acceptance, not an immediate one

but yeah, confidence can definitely take on appearance
post #4 of 24
I also disagree. Being well dressed is not going to bring about success in your job (or even land a job) as much as being a confident individual willing to take risks and make decisions. Assuming such individual is 'normally' dressed to some moderate standard, they will have MUCH more success over their life then a well dressed insecure individual.
post #5 of 24
I agree
I have an accounting text book written by Gregory Mankiw, and he has said that men considered attractive have a 12% higher income than those considered unattractive. Having a nice appearance can do wonders for people, and cripple those who dont. I would also include things like posture, walk, voice, vocab, gestures into appearance.
For example: about a month ago, someone who sits next to me in a class would casualy talk with me. Since I was a teenager, I have always had a very deep voice. Over time I began to notice that he would speak in a lower tone with me than he did with anyone elce. I never gave much thought to my voice before, but knowing that he would mimic it gave me confidence in it.

Oman, I think the poster was speaking spacificly about men. Teenagers are generaly egotistical dumbasses anyway.

http://gregmankiw.blogspot.com/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/N._Gregory_Mankiw
post #6 of 24
I agree with you - in the sense that for many people being well-dressed helps them to achieve confidence.

The problem is - most people probably already think they are well-dressed
post #7 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reggs
Oman, I think the poster was speaking spacificly about men. Teenagers are generaly egotistical dumbasses anyway.
post #8 of 24
These kinds of questions are close to meaningless in the abstract because everything is important to some degree, and it's impossible to weigh the relative importance of one thing against another without knowing the context in which the person operates and the absolute level of the other skills.

It's really not that important anyway -- the bottom line is everyone needs an image consultant, right? Got it.
post #9 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Margaret
These kinds of questions are close to meaningless in the abstract because everything is important to some degree, and it's impossible to weigh the relative importance of one thing against another without knowing the context in which the person operates and the absolute level of the other skills.

It's really not that important anyway -- the bottom line is everyone needs an image consultant, right? Got it.

Exactly!

You know what else everyone also needs? The ability to see through peoples BS and see that they are really just advertising their services / products.

Jon.
post #10 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by imageWIS
Exactly!

You know what else everyone also needs? The ability to see through peoples BS and see that they are really just advertising their services / products.

Jon.

All it takes is superpowers.

I can provide them for you at a competitive rate.
post #11 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nantucket Red
All it takes is superpowers.

I can provide them for you at a competitive rate.
LOL
post #12 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradford
The problem is - most people probably already think they are well-dressed


amen on that.
post #13 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradford
The problem is - most people probably already think they are well-dressed
This is true and the members of this board are only slightly less prone to this mistaken reasoning. MIC has some valid points to make. Just because the preponderance of posts here are about the details of canvassed lapels and 2x2 cloth doesn't mean that those things have any significance to anyone else.
post #14 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by mensimageconsultant.com
All over the Internet, you can find men (it's almost always men) writing at length that confidence leads to success.

In part, it does. But appearance arguably plays a bigger role. (If you look bad enough, you won't be given the chance to verbally express your sureness of self.) The confidence "experts" barely refer to it.

Most men keep to themselves the knowledge that their confidence is affected by where they think they rank in facial and bodily attractiveness.

Men seem to suspect that how they dress also affects confidence and, to a point, can compensate for unhappiness with other aspects of appearance.

If men knew how much clothes and grooming affect confidence and performance, if they were familiar with the research, would that make them care more about how they dress on dates? In daily life? This company's mission is to achieve that (well-dressed men as the rule rather than the exception) on a large scale, and people here seem to want that also, so what do you think?

Actually image consultants are anathema as far as I am concerned. You guys are giving away our secrets to the masses. I want to keep them dumb!

This keeps the competition down, and hence makes it easier for me to make money in business, and easier for me to get laid by high quality women.

May your company fail!

M8

P.S. Nice website
post #15 of 24
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradford
I agree with you - in the sense that for many people being well-dressed helps them to achieve confidence.

The problem is - most people probably already think they are well-dressed

Sadly, in the United States, it's close to the truth. Most men think they dress okay, and compared to their peers, they do.

But most know whether or not they have the "genetic gifts" or fitness their peers do. Then it becomes a matter of showing that clothing can compensate "to a point" without excessively hurting feelings or causing resignation by connecting overall appearance to success. At the same time, there's a need to fight the dubious idea that success only requires "confidence.". And the popular, often defeatist idea that appearance shouldn't matter, because that will never be true.

And, no, this is not stealth marketing aimed at regular members. Nor is it a request for help in becoming rich (image consultants don't become rich by privately helping average people). It's education and crafting the message to the people who most need the help, in a way levelling the playing the field, even if many others could benefit from services.
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