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Ladies that want to pay their own way/take turns/etc?

post #1 of 34
9/28/09 at 12:23am
Thread Starter 
Call me old fashioned, but, as the man, I feel I should pay for dates. I don't mind when a lady offers or even picks up the occasional check. 50/50 just seems over the top to me. If I couldn't afford to take her out, I would not have ask. What do you think? Is it wrong for the guy to paid more than his share? Should I just STFU and enjoy that I'm not paying for everything?

I also make significantly more than the girl I'm regularly seeing. If she keeps reaching for the check, I'm going to have to tone down my lifestyle to keep seeing her.
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post #2 of 34
9/28/09 at 12:27am
Let her pay sometimes. Even half the time. Otherwise you aren't being a gentlemen, you're just being an ass and probably making her feel like you need to "take care of her" or whatever.
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post #3 of 34
9/28/09 at 12:35am
I'll pay for the first date and depending on the vibe I'll pay for subsequent ones. However, I'm young and live pretty modestly in a very expensive city. I want dating and relationships to reflect reality, not fictional chivarly, and at this point in my dating life I only want to be around women who think with that same pragmatism.
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post #4 of 34
9/28/09 at 12:35am
These are the only kind of ladies I date.
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post #5 of 34
9/28/09 at 1:06am
Quote:
Originally Posted by SVS View Post
Call me old fashioned, but, as the man, I feel I should pay for dates. I don’t mind when a lady offers or even picks up the occasional check. 50/50 just seems over the top to me. If I couldn’t afford to take her out, I would not have ask. What do you think? Is it wrong for the guy to paid more than his share? Should I just STFU and enjoy that I’m not paying for everything? I also make significantly more than the girl I’m regularly seeing. If she keeps reaching for the check, I’m going to have to tone down my lifestyle to keep seeing her.
If you make more than her, let her pay for the cheaper bills.. or say something like you'll get dinner and she can get the drinks afterward or dessert or whatever. Going dutch is such a romance killer (also the unofficial way for girls to indicate a lack of romantic interest amongst the women I know). When I reach for my wallet with a love interest, I do it sincerely with the intention of paying the whole check. If the guy refuses, I thank and pay for something else later. Splitting the bill is for friends.
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post #6 of 34
9/28/09 at 1:14am
I have always felt uncomfortable with a girl paying for me.

However, for the past year or so I only go on dates that I am at least 90% sure I am going to get sex, and believe it or not, usually makes bad and overpriced meals worth it.
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post #7 of 34
9/28/09 at 1:17am
I dislike allowing wimminz to pay for themselves. I am chivalrous I guess.
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post #8 of 34
9/28/09 at 1:41am
Girls that keep offering to pay fall into three categories:


1) Girls who have already thrown you into the friend category and want to pay to emphasize that this is not a date, you will never get access to their panties, but they enjoy your company since they haven't run into someone better to hang out with yet.

2) Girls who are part of the Women's Lib, and believe women and men are equal on everything. She's also the type to talk about how she doesn't need no man to take care of her, complain why women make seventy cents on every dollar a man makes, and cry about why she's been single for so long.

3) Girls who are testing you to see if you take the bait - we don't want to seem presumptious that you'll pay, but if you don't, your sexiness rating falls a notch. This is probably the majority of girls - we'll offer to take care of a check, but quickly say "thank you" if you tell us it's on you. But we're not all gold-diggers - like someone else said, let us take care of an occasional dinner or drink and we'll feel like all is fair.
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post #9 of 34
9/28/09 at 1:46am
ive never gone on a date where the girl didnt atleast offer to pay. if she didnt i probably wouldnt go on another date with her. either way havent we had this thread like 5000000 times already?
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post #10 of 34
9/28/09 at 2:28am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetroStyles View Post
These are the only kind of ladies I date.
+1 No need to be taken advantage from repeat times without any intention to pay. Some just stick around for your pocketbook.
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post #11 of 34
9/28/09 at 2:33am
Quote:
Originally Posted by blank View Post
I'll pay for the first date and depending on the vibe I'll pay for subsequent ones. However, I'm young and live pretty modestly in a very expensive city. I want dating and relationships to reflect reality, not fictional chivarly, and at this point in my dating life I only want to be around women who think with that same pragmatism.

This. I always pay for the first one, just to make it less awkward. Afterwards though, I kinda expect her to pick up the next one, depending on the situation. Or for her to at least make an attempt to even it out. I'm a broke student, I can't afford to have a girlfriend who expects me to pay for everything, and I'm not interested.
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post #12 of 34
9/28/09 at 3:23am
Quote:
Originally Posted by cougarlicious View Post
Girls that keep offering to pay fall into three categories:


1) Girls who have already thrown you into the friend category and want to pay to emphasize that this is not a date, you will never get access to their panties, but they enjoy your company since they haven't run into someone better to hang out with yet.

2) Girls who are part of the Women's Lib, and believe women and men are equal on everything. She's also the type to talk about how she doesn't need no man to take care of her, complain why women make seventy cents on every dollar a man makes, and cry about why she's been single for so long.

3) Girls who are testing you to see if you take the bait - we don't want to seem presumptious that you'll pay, but if you don't, your sexiness rating falls a notch. This is probably the majority of girls - we'll offer to take care of a check, but quickly say "thank you" if you tell us it's on you. But we're not all gold-diggers - like someone else said, let us take care of an occasional dinner or drink and we'll feel like all is fair.

But I thought there are only two types of women....?
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post #13 of 34
9/28/09 at 6:10am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetroStyles View Post
These are the only kind of ladies I date.

+ 1

I thought men and women were supposed to be, like, you know, equal these days?

I would expect a girl to be prepared to go 50/50 on dates even if I end up paying for all of it. I don't think I have ever been on a date, or in fact just eaten out with someone else, when they haven't at least offered to pay half unless I made it pretty much explicit before hand that I was paying. If not it suggests to me either:

1) I do not think of them as an equal therefore they can not pay

2) I am somehow paying for their time or for sex, they are a hooker.
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post #14 of 34
9/28/09 at 6:29am
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Snob View Post
If you make more than her, let her pay for the cheaper bills.. or say something like you'll get dinner and she can get the drinks afterward or dessert or whatever.

Going dutch is such a romance killer (also the unofficial way for girls to indicate a lack of romantic interest amongst the women I know). When I reach for my wallet with a love interest, I do it sincerely with the intention of paying the whole check. If the guy refuses, I thank and pay for something else later. Splitting the bill is for friends.

+1. Though it really depends on the girl.

I'm only comfortable going dutch if you're in/really moving towards getting into a relationship. If you're just casually dating, I think that the man should pay for the first date, but after that, whoever does the inviting, does the paying. It'll pretty much even out then.
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post #15 of 34
9/28/09 at 6:38am
I pretty much always pick up the tab, but kinda expect the girl to at least offer, or to pick up the tab on whatever smaller thing comes next. Good example - recently went on a date with a girl, we went for lunch, she offered to pay her way, but I had already slipped over to the counter and taken care of it (I tend to do that)....it was probably a 20 buck meal all told. We then went to an arcade, played a bunch of games and spent like four bucks there - I let her buy the tokens. Another date with the same girl...running late to a movie...I'll get the tickets, she went downstairs and bought the popcorn (which in Vietnam does not cost three times the price of the ticket!) I think it is more about the gesture than the amount.
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