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Laugh at your loved ones - Page 3

post #31 of 36
9/25/09 at 3:26pm
Well, shit Roma - that's messed up right there.

My brother: ehhh, let's don't go there. Our child(ren) may never know their livin-with-the-folks, meth-mouth, not-workin' uncle.
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post #32 of 36
9/25/09 at 7:20pm
And now back to our originally scheduled spirit...

My grandfather pretty well raised me for my first few years. His is the only picture I have on my credenza, and in said picture, he's pointing a pistol at someone off-camera. He was a kind and generous man, up to a point. Once you got past said point, though...

My maternal grandmother had five siblings. Two of her sibs married into a family of sponges, and as sponges tend to do, they then mooched off their in-laws. My grandparents became accustomed to playing host rather frequently, but my grandfather really had to bite his tongue from time to time as the in-laws reclined around the house, ate their food and drank their liquor.

Eventually - I think this was Uncle Louie - was complaining about an empanada that the housekeeper had made, and grandfather lost it. He hauled Louie out of his chair and pushed him out the door as the housekeeper took the empanada out of Louie's hand! Uncle Louie waited outside for his wife (the blood relative) to turn up, at which time grandfather let him in to collect his things. Grandmother heartily approved of this turn of events.

After this, the sponges still came around when they happened upon some hard luck, but the terms were a bit stricter and there was a bit more harmony all around...until it was time to throw them out again.
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post #33 of 36
9/25/09 at 7:29pm
Another gem--a year or so before she died, my great-grandmother made the trip to my mother's parents' lakehouse in the Adirondacks. At that point my parents hadn't purchased their own so we summered there. She was in her early 80s, had about every type of cancer you could think of, and some hip issues. But she walked down the VERY steep and very long flight of stairs from the house to the dock, and got into the boat. We were motoring around the lake and the wind sure was whipping. Suddenly I hear my mom roaring with laughter, and I look over at her. She pointed at Mimi, and we all soon noticed that not a single hair on her head was moving. She put about a can of hairspray in that thing every day. She also had her ubiquitous Budweiser can in hand. I think she drank at least a 12 pack per day, more if there was some sort of family function, but she never seemed drunk. A happy lady.
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post #34 of 36
9/25/09 at 7:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by thekunk07 View Post
my stories are not really so much funny as awful. my one uncle with severe neuromuscular issues was like a father to me but my other uncles used to ignore me and call me a fat little croatian faggot. my grandfather resented me because my existence prevented him from retiring. he flat out hated me for it.
i had no vacation as a kid cause we had no money, never got to learn and instrument or take karate or participate in sports. my grandmother who i loved more than anything died last year and i haven't been the same since. funny shit.


i wish i can have a drink with you one day. my treat all night.
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post #35 of 36
9/25/09 at 7:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by thekunk07 View Post
^all guineas say close the light

true...I still have to catch myself and say "turn off the light"
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post #36 of 36
9/25/09 at 10:16pm
we'll make it happen. i get around a lot for business.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sho'nuff View Post

i wish i can have a drink with you one day. my treat all night.
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