Just because I don't have anything better to do, and keep in mind that I have worked in higher end restaurants and even waited once or twice when short:
Originally Posted by kennethpollock
(a) My name is Bruce and I'll be taking care of you tonight (who cares what his name is and his purpose is obvious)
(b) you guys (when some of the guests are ladies)
(c) folks (i.e., commoners)
(d) Do you have any questions about the menu? (an insult; I can read English and am an experienced diner)
(e) Let me get this out of your way (as he snatches away a plate that really was not in my way)
(f) my favorite dishes are ----- (who cares?)
(g) tonight's specials are --- (as he reels off 8-10 dishes; mind-boggling; why can't they print it, as the specials are the same nearly every night)
(h) plopping down the bill before it is requested
(i) placing the cork on the table, or even worse, holding it near my nose
(j) tying a napkin around the neck of the wine bottle
(k) what "temperature" do you want your steak? (I usually say "hot")
(A) When trained to be a waiter, you are forced to greet the customer like this. Almost everything else is optional. <B>That is one of the only things you are required to do.</B>
(B) In today's society, "you guys" generally means everyone in the party. In higher end restaurants I wouldn't reccomend greeting anyone like this regaurdless of gender.
(C) What the hell is wrong with folks? Do you honestly feel that using the word folks immediately drops you to the status of white trash?
(D) Another custom at nicer restaurants. It's polite anyways. If you worked at a retail store you are required to ask the customer "Can I help you with anything?". That is the same principle. It's part of being courteous.
(E) He doesn't know if it is in your way or not. For all he knows you could suffer an OCD and not like things that are being used in your presence.
(F) If you are having trouble deciding what you want to eat, he could feel that it would make your choice easier by telling you what he likes. He may ask if you like spicy food, sweet food, etc.
(G) If it isn't marked anywhere, expect him to tell you what the specials are. Hell, he may even tell you when they are on the menu. He doesn't know (nor does he give a shit) how often you eat there.
(H) If he is one of the only waiters working your general area, expect it. It saves him time and it saves you time. Does it really inconvenience you so much to have a small black booklet sitting on the corner of the table?
(I) A lot of waiters do that. They just forget. It's nice that they open the bottle in front of you just to proove that it is actually what you ordered and not just a $10 wine put in a empty $200 bottle. I'm sure you foget things to sometimes, but I'm not sure you do seem perfect.
(J) I don't even know where the napkin is supposed to go. I'm not allowed to serve alcohol.
(K) The same thing as "How would you like your steak cooked?" Would you rather have him look at you and guess you want it extra well or cold and bloody? When you respond with some smart ass remark such as "Hot" he <B>is</B> going to fuck with your food. That just gives him a reason right there.
So there you have it, I'm sure that a waiter would rather be helpful to someone that wasn't being a smart ass. You don't know what goes on in restauraunts. Even the manager won't bitch out a waiter that is messing with someones food that is being a jerk. So be kind and don't complain so much about what is usually customary to the job.