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Is it really possible to stay faithful to one person for the rest of your life?

post #1 of 32
9/16/09 at 11:45pm
Thread Starter 
I'd love to hear from some of our older, more distinguished members particularly. Two things that prompted this:

- A very respectable and wise female relative, almost like a matriarch of the extended family once told me something like: "Family is important, but don't expect to sleep with one person for the rest of your life - but there isn't anything wrong with that as long as you are smart and keep your priorities straight"

-Talking to one of my best friends the other day. Him: "Well, you know, everybody at work who travels for business cheats. Everybody. Even the happily married ones. Especially those."

And some other shit. And to be honest, as I get older, there is more and more distinction between love/respect/devotion/family and just recreational fun.

But of course I'm not saying that you can't just be into having sex with your spouse/SO either. Some people seem to do fine with that. But after 5, 10, 15 years? Mystery, passion, all that?
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post #2 of 32
9/17/09 at 12:17am
Monogamy is a social expectation, not a physiological one.
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post #3 of 32
9/17/09 at 12:23am
Never been married never been in a committed relationship, but I think it is very possible.
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post #4 of 32
9/17/09 at 12:24am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jodum5 View Post
Never been married never been in a committed relationship, but I think it is very possible.


lol
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post #5 of 32
9/17/09 at 1:36am
Sure it's possible to stay physically faithful. Hard, but possible.

The question is: is it possible to stay emotionally faithful? I doubt it. Humans were not meant to be monogamous. You can suppress it, but there is no doubt you will want to sleep with other people.
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post #6 of 32
9/17/09 at 4:25am
Not really... In my country, where family and society is more important than self satisfaction, the monogamous living is already been a mindset, so most people are not cheating. Committed to one person at least physically is something common here
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post #7 of 32
9/17/09 at 10:36am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetroStyles
The question is: is it possible to stay emotionally faithful? I doubt it. Humans were not meant to be monogamous. You can suppress it, but there is no doubt you will want to sleep with other people.

I agree there's no doubt you will want to sleep with other people, but is that the same as not staying emotionally faithful? For me, that term implies carrying on some sort of emotional love affair with someone who's not your partner, which I do think is avoidable.
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post #8 of 32
9/17/09 at 10:43am
Since none of the distinguished members have weighed in here, I'll put in my two cents.

Back in the day one of my nicks was tomcat, and that one came from a girlfriend's father. So I more or less got around for a time. I met the then-future Mrs. T and that was pretty well it for me. 11 years of marriage later, and sure I still look here and there but straying isn't happening.

But I would like to say this: the person I married 11 years ago has changed substantially, as have I. We communicate regularly, challenge each other, and fight once in a while, to make sure that we don't just fall into the same-old same-old Archie and Edith Bunker routine - or worse, one of us grows and leaves the other behind.
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post #9 of 32
9/17/09 at 11:51am
It is possible. It takes an amount of discipline I don't see a lot of nowadays, though.
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post #10 of 32
9/17/09 at 11:56am
is possible if you make the conscious choice to do so. is much easier to cheat, and the occasional emotional affair is damn near impossible to avoid.
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post #11 of 32
9/17/09 at 11:58am
You have to ask yourself (before you cheat) "Is what I'm about to do worth giving up everything I have with the other person?" Guys are dumb and vain. They think that if a girl comes on to them, its all about them. Usually it isn't, it's that girl who notices a wedding ring and want to see if she's sexy enought to get you.

In the end though there is no puss that is simply as amazing as the puss in your head. 9/10 its a let down.
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post #12 of 32
9/17/09 at 12:06pm
i have never cheated on my wife but you aren't giving anything up unless you get caught. make sure the mistress is several area codes away.
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post #13 of 32
9/17/09 at 12:13pm
I've been married for over six years, and I've never even come close to straying. I've had a couple of offers from girls I would have chased if I were single, but I've never accepted. I have a lot of life left, but so far it hasn't been an issue.

I do think it's possible to stay faithful. It may not be easy, but it's possible. I think it's tied to people's attitudes about marriage, particularly their motivation for getting married. If the couple wanted to get married, I mean really wanted to be with each other, I think the likelihood of faithfulness is higher. On the contrary, if you settled, or if it's one of those situations where the woman pushes a reluctant man to get married, I would expect the incidence of cheating to be higher. This is all my conjecture, so it could be complete crap.

Though I am often shocked at how common it is for people to stray.
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post #14 of 32
9/17/09 at 12:18pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by thekunk07 View Post
i have never cheated on my wife but you aren't giving anything up unless you get caught. make sure the mistress is several area codes away.

I disagree, you are giving up your self-respect, self-discipline and honesty because now you are a liar, even if the person you are lying to doesn't know it yet.

I'm turning 30 next month and have never cheated on anyone. I have avoided committing to relationships because I wasn't ready to be monogamous and I have had girlfriends who were into threesomes, I have been cheated on, and I have certainly been put in scenarios where I could have cheated but Slopho hit the nail on the head...

Every time I have asked myself "Is what I'm about to do worth giving up everything I have with the other person?" the answer has always been No.
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post #15 of 32
9/17/09 at 12:32pm
fact: i cheated on every girlfriend i ever had since 14...with my wife. maybe why i married her.
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