Drinking by yourself - alcoholism or enjoying life? - Page 6

i think most of us are alcoholics who can afford semi-expensive stuff we use as a shield against being called alcoholics..

These are both poorly reasoned. If reasoned at all. What separates an alcoholic who claims he can "quit anytime he wants" from someone who is not an addict yet correctly makes that claim -- the claim itself does not, ipso facto, make you not an alcoholic -- that's ridiculous. It's even more ridiculous to use the hypocrisy defense. Is acknowledging your destructive behavior null if they practice another or even the same, destructive behavior? What if they differ by degree? Nobody on this board can call me a teetotaler, yet I've had two alcoholic grandfathers. There is a difference. ~ H

Brian, you know this is how I start up an evening (or a day) before hitting the real drinks... but then again I am self-professed alcoholic...

This, also, I am probably past this point and well into alcoholic territory as I've probably been drinking a 12 pack every night for the past 10 years, but I do feel like I have to sit back and wonder if people don't like to throw around the term 'alcoholic' in my face just a little too easily, more so when I've only had my 3rd beer of the day and they're not familiar with how much I actually plan on drinking after that.

Those 'people...[who] throw the term alcoholic' in your face do so because they think or are concerned that your drinking is excessive. Just because that excessive drinking has raised your tolerance to a point well beyond that of your friends does not invalidate their concerns/arguments. It only strengthens them. ~ H

I know, they are right, as are you. That was my thinly veiled cry for help, wrapped in an attitude as is typical of me. There are a lot of things I should probably change about myself but the bottle is something that falls to the end of the list. It's not really hurt people (except once which I took responsibility for) but I do know I'm not really doing the right thing. My alcohol consumption is mainly limited to the home, after hours when I'm alone, or at bars with friends. I don't drive and I try to not interact with non-drinkers during this time. My girlfriend is pretty sick of my drinking but stays quiet about it, as Asian people are wont to do.

You shouldn't let alcoholism fall to the bottom of your list -- it should be at the top. Once you fix that one thing then it will be so much easier to fix all the other things in your life that you feel badly about -- you may even find that fixing your addiction will magically fix some of those things. I respect your keeping drinking and driving separate, but you must know that alcoholics hurt others without even knowing it or without that intention. As I said I had two alcoholic grandfathers, and they were never violent or particularly irresponsible (I mean in terms of driving) when drunk, but I was hurt in how much I worried about them, and wondering why they were doing this to themselvs. if I was somehow at fault. And I'm sure your girlfriend, despite her Asian reticence, feels the same. Its sad that so many memories I have of my granparents are of when they were drunk. I would have had so much respect for them if either of them had even made as much admission as you, and I would have done anything I could to help -- would have made all our lives, together, better. Plus that much alcohol is really bad on your liver, and it will wind up killing you one way or another. Your life and the lives of those who love you will be better if you get help for yourself. Just do it. There's a number you can call here: http://www.alcohol-abuse-hotline.com/ And of course A.A.: http://www.aa.org/lang/en/subpage.cfm?page=1 Your doctor could help, too, if you trust him. And of course we're here but by and large we can't help much. Hang around though. PM me if you want. ~ H

I didn't use hypocrisy as a defense, but rather something that annoys me. Again, I don't get drunk so this doesn't apply to my situation.