normalcy. - Page 3

Honestly, I don't think the real truth exists, it's not just that it isn't all black and white, it's more like black or white do not exist, it's all a myth.

It's all grey.

You have no idea how much I agree with this.


This is the answer. How many times have I posted here that the secret to sleeping well at night is to live way below your means? I might take shit here for wearing AE shoes and MyTailor shirts, but those are far better than what 99% of men wear and we put money in the bank every single pay cheque. I'm not going to say my young adult angst is completely gone, but I sure as hell have been sleeping sounder since I realized, many years ago, I should spend money only to make me happy, not impress someone else.

Enjoy your life, enjoy what you can reasonably afford, and fuck everyone else.

Quoted for being words of wisdom.

Is this what the kanji translates to?

I still waver between my baller aspirations and my contentment with normalcy. I would love to make serious money and enjoy all the luxuries it provides, but I have a pretty good life now without that. I mean, most of the year I rarely work past five o'clock, and I don't want for anything. I don't have kids yet, but when I do I'll actually be able to see them. I might not get to drive them to little league practice in a luxury sedan, but at least I'll be the one driving them.

I aspire to move up and continue to improve my station in life, for sure, but I love my wife and free time more than I love the idea of a closet full of bespoke suits. For me, it's a balance. One of the most financially successful guys I know has a lot of luxuries, but he works 60+ hour weeks and rarely sees his family. That's just not for me. If I can excel at what I do there's an opportunity to do quite well, and that's exciting to me. Even better, it provides the chance to do with while still maintaining a good quality of life. The ceiling may be a bit lower than other careers in terms of income, but there are other positives as well.

+1 to both answers above. I love some of the fine trappings of life, I work damn hard to build my nest egg but firmly believe that you don't have to pay premium to own premium nor do you have to impress anyone outside of making yourself feel good with yourself. Its all about smarts and about balance with everything

Took a while to get to this point, but here we are. I still indulge here and there but for the most part getting and having new things has lost its luster, as has the idea of impressing people.

But I'll go onto a tangent here and say that job-wise it is what it is: my personal growth comes from developing non-job skills and taking on new projects I never would have considered. I still grow that way, without the work-related sacrifice, and it can be incorporated into family life.

It's not about two poles - normalcy and ballerdom. Normalcy does not preclude being bored at home in front of the telly, getting tired of your wife's bitching and the kids' shenanigans, slowly losing your social life until you are a morbid old bastard.

I think this is the wrong plane to even be thinking on. I think the two poles are awareness and unawareness. If you are aware and fully engaged by each day you live, you have succeeded. If you think hard about it, that is what people yearn for when they strive to become a "baller". They want money, they want respect, fame, women, all those things. They want those things so they have the means to fully live each day when they get there - and most people believe the way to that is through unlimited funds. But you can have that today if you choose to.

The last thing any of us want is to work hard and be miserable for years and years hoping to attain some kind of status at the end of the rainbow and end up being 60, tired, sick, and trained to not know how to have fun and let go after years of toiling and projecting into the future. Whether this is poor man's work that we do to get our kids through school or rich man's work to build a large nest egg and build excessive wealth for fun, the end result is often the same.

So instead of working for some kind of ambitious goal or settling for some kind of depressing normalcy, stop thinking on those terms, those terms that are relative to other people and what our culture demands us to want. As long as you think relatively you cannot be happy with your position in life. Even the Emperor wants more, and his situation is the most tragic as he cannot have any more, but he still wants more. And what then? The rest of us can aspire to be someone else, but he cannot. Reaching the peak won't make you any happier, it will just end your delusions, or at least make your new ones truly unattainable.

Don't get me wrong - play the game, have fun trying to make money and advancing up any ladder you choose to. But keep in mind that it isn't that which makes a life well-lived. Realize that you will never be content if you are always living for the future, and what's worse, the present will pass you by without you noticing. Be happy with the people you have in your life and make the most of each day, of each minute. Don't let the social comparisons, envies, and insecurities dictate what you do, and you might find that normalcy as others see it is really paradise for you.

Nice one, Metro. I have been musing about this thread for the last few days and you hit on a few of my key thoughts there. You are a good writer...I assume you are drunk, no?

I am pretty sure my life is not normal.

Thanks for the compliment. I am surprisingly not drunk - surprisingly in that just as of 10 days ago I am on a new mission to not drink more then 3 drinks in any one drinking outing. It's a pathetic crutch I tend to use to get laid. Unsurprisingly, I have not gotten laid since I started abstaining.

Both of these... QFT.

I never had baller aspirations, but I did always want to live some crazy bohemian lifestyle. A little artistic, a little wild, and a little off-the-wall. Unfortunately, a reality check hit me towards the end of undergrad... People need money to live this lifestyle and no chick wants to be with some dirtbag intellectual. Grad school didn't turn out the way I had hoped and I left with the MA, not the PhD. Now I'm searching for meaning in a seemingly bland life with a boring 9-5, shacked up with my old lady, living in Long Island.

Certainly not the life I had wished for myself, but you know what? It's really not that bad. I got my Master's, no one can take that away from me. I found a job in the worst economy since the Great Depression. While my job is boring, I believe in what I'm doing and I'm working for a good cause. I live with the woman I love and who is willing to do anything for me. Long Island still isn't where I would like to be, but I do commute to the city each day, the Island does have plenty of beaches and parks close by, and I live in a semi-urban area.

My adolescent dreams may not have been reached, but my adult dreams are just being formed. I agree with Metro that one has to be happy in the present, or else they will be continually searching for that one thing they believe will make them happy. The grass is always greener...