I personally don't care for the wing collar with the dinner suit. I'd agree that it is necessary for correct wear with the white tie / tail coat rig. Note also, when choosing the collar, that the tie should be in front of the wings - not below / under the wing tips. In that regard, I've seen examples of collars with fairly large wings that would be very elegant and distinctive.
I would recommend that you look at a marcella front turn down collar shirt. Marcella bib, collar, cuffs. Wear it with a normal black bow - that can be in several styles.
If costs are a consideration, I suspect that you can get as much money invested in the proper bib front shirt and the collar than in a mosest eBay purchase of a full dinner suit.