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Evening Shirt/Accessory Questions

post #1 of 36
Thread Starter 
Hello gentlemen,

I have been scouring these threads for months now, focusing on proper Black Tie attire. After exhausting the search function, I have finally decided to register and ask a few questions.

I am both graduating from medical school and getting married this May. Due to limited finances, I have decided to rent a dinner jacket. I know this may be appalling to many of you, but I have weighed every option and am set on this. The DJ will be a black SB, 1 button, peak lapel, and I will be wearing a white linen pocket square, black self-tie bow tie and cummerbund. My groomsmen will be wearing the same, with a waistcoat instead of a cummerbund, and a turndown collar with pleats.

My question is: Should I wear a wing-tip shirt to further differentiate myself from my groomsmen, or wear a turn-down collar?

I know that some may think that a wing-tip collar is too costumey, especially while renting a DJ, but I really wanted to stand out on this special day as I routinely wear suits and turndown collars. I have already sourced a bespoke bow-tie, and proper marcella evening shirt with stiff detachable collar. On the otherhand, I think that a nice turn-down shirt looks great and is more contemporary.

Other questions that depend on the shirt: What type of shirt studs? Onyx or MOP? I have found some vintage silver/MOP links/studs that are somewhat of a grey color. What about a concealed buttons with a turn-down collared shirt? What will give the best overall look whith what I have already chosen?

Sorry for the long rant, but I have been agonizing over these details for several months now.

Thank you in advance,

Doc Martin
post #2 of 36
A detachable stiff collar would be lovely. It's really the tiny, flimsy attached wing collars that should be avoided.

Onyx and MOP are both fine. I would lean towards the former, and stay away from buttoned shirts.
post #3 of 36
First, congratulations!

Second, between a turn-down collar and a wing collar, I'd go wing, esp. if your groomsmen are wearing turn-down; I like the idea of the subtle differentiation. Besides, that way you get to show off your bespoke bowtie; don't hide that light under a bushel!

A detachable collar would be that much cooler, IMHO, if you have the proper shirt and a high-quality collar to go with. Good luck, and let us know what you decide.
post #4 of 36
post #5 of 36
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomasso


Trust me, I have been scouring ebay for several months... I just haven't found anything in the right size, quality, or price. A majority of the ebay variety are notch lapel rental cast-offs.

I did see a nice Zegna on Overstock, but again- wrong sizes.

Any other suggestions/opinions?
post #6 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Martin
Trust me, I have been scouring ebay for several months... I just haven't found anything in the right size, quality, or price. A majority of the ebay variety are notch lapel rental cast-offs.

I did see a nice Zegna on Overstock, but again- wrong sizes.

Any other suggestions/opinions?
I don't know if you will be set off sufficiently from your groomsmen - have you considered renting a tailcoat for the wedding? I don't know how feasible that is, but it would really look sharp IMO. Especially if you are informed enough to have gotten a detachable collar shirt, etc.

BTW: what is your size, so that the ebay/sale hounds might catch a deal?
post #7 of 36
there's nothing wrong with renting the tux, but i'd recommend buying a shirt if you can-- the rental shirts are horrible, and most don't actually have french cuffs. if all else fails, grab one at brooks brothers for a reasonable price, just stay away from the "wing collar," the two small pointed collars that only really work when custom-made, or on the off-change a superb ready-to-wear house gets it right (like Borrelli, Finamore, etc.).

As for shoes, up to you if you wish to rent-- I bought a pair of Cheany formal shoes from plal.com myself, which were a great price.

congrats on your wedding!
post #8 of 36
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by j
I don't know if you will be set off sufficiently from your groomsmen - have you considered renting a tailcoat for the wedding? I don't know how feasible that is, but it would really look sharp IMO. Especially if you are informed enough to have gotten a detachable collar shirt, etc.

BTW: what is your size, so that the ebay/sale hounds might catch a deal?


Thank you all for your advice so far.

As far as a tailcoat, I agree that it would look stunning- but maybe out of place. The wedding will take place in the evening, outdoors, at a victorian garden. I would like to keep with the black tie attire. I am hoping that that subtle differences between my groomsmen and myself will be noticable. Also, I want to be in costume, yet not too costume- most of the attention should be on my bride!

I do like tails though, and I would have done it if I weren't such a stickler for the rules. If I were going for a white tie wedding, there wouldn't be any discussion as the rules are far more set.

Any more ideas/suggestions/opinions about the shirt and accessories?
post #9 of 36
Technically, there is "official" precedent for wearing a tailcoat with a black tie, though I don't know what the rule is about only the groom being in a tailcoat while everyone else wears dinner jackets. It is of course up to you. Personally I don't think it would upstage anyone (I do understand that concern) and it shouldn't offend anyone (unless Manton is coming), but it would serve to set you off well.

I like the darker studs, but if you have some nice MOP/silver kit, that would work too. Go with the wing collar.
post #10 of 36
Thread Starter 
Points well taken J,

The other thing working against me is my height- 5'8". I think that this will only make me look shorter, especially when my groomsmen are all ~ 6'. The last factor is that my fiancee prefers the standard length coat.

You all have gotten me excited about the wing-tip collar though. Now the question is the height:

Short 1.5"


Medium 2"


Tall 2.5"


And here is the shirt that they would attach to:



Any ideas? The last one looks rediculously tall, but manton would probably disagree.
post #11 of 36
Thread Starter 
Damn J, now you have got me seriously considering the tailcoat!
post #12 of 36
The collar will depend more on the length of your neck than anything IMO. Labelking will probably pounce within 15 minutes to tell you more about those. They all look great to me.

As for the tails, you may be right about the height thing, but you're definitely right about the bride thing. If she really cares, don't bother - she has enough to stress about right now.
post #13 of 36
Thread Starter 
You really have me thinking:



Only I'm about the height of the Great Dane.
post #14 of 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Martin
You really have me thinking:



Only I'm about the height of the Great Dane.
Bring a Chihuahua.
post #15 of 36
Thread Starter 
LOL... I would be THE master, but unfortunately all my 6' groomsmen would throw off the scale.
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