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Time to Meet Her Parents...

post #1 of 64
8/27/09 at 12:54pm
Thread Starter 
So I'm flying to St Louis in a week to visit my girlfriend's parents and hometown friends. We've been dating for 11 months now.

I also have never visited the Midwest, and I'm afraid my raging coast-y snobbishness with show through somehow to her family/friends.

My family is extroverted/Protestant/raging right-wingers. (I'm not though)
Her family is introverted/Catholic/slight liberals.

She also told me NOT to dress up and that they are very casual people. Should I ignore this and dress up somewhat anyways?

Does meeting her parents mean I'm basically "married" to her family?

What do I say when her dad asks my intentions?

I'm bloody terrified.
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post #2 of 64
8/27/09 at 12:57pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by JesseJB View Post
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She also told me NOT to dress up and that they are very casual people. Should I ignore this and dress up somewhat anyways? What is dressing up by her standards?

Does meeting her parents mean I'm basically "married" to her family?No.

I'm bloody terrified.That's healthy. We have the fight or flight instinct for a reason.

..
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post #3 of 64
8/27/09 at 1:00pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by JesseJB View Post
So I'm flying to St Louis in a week to visit my girlfriend's parents and hometown friends. We've been dating for 11 months now.

I also have never visited the Midwest, and I'm afraid my raging coast-y snobbishness with show through somehow to her family/friends.

My family is extroverted/Protestant/raging right-wingers. (I'm not though)
Her family is introverted/Catholic/slight liberals.

She also told me NOT to dress up and that they are very casual people. Should I ignore this and dress up somewhat anyways?

Does meeting her parents mean I'm basically "married" to her family?

What do I say when her dad asks my intentions?

I'm bloody terrified.

The correct answer for this is that you're hoping that meeting the family will be the final stepping stone to getting her to perform A2M.
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post #4 of 64
8/27/09 at 1:02pm
Thread Starter 
Dressing up to her would be putting on a jacket. Or even just wearing a JCrew button-down (which is what I plan on wearing). I think I may don the jacket for the plane ride and initial meeting.
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post #5 of 64
8/27/09 at 1:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by JesseJB View Post
She also told me NOT to dress up and that they are very casual people. Should I ignore this and dress up somewhat anyways?

Does meeting her parents mean I'm basically "married" to her family?

What do I say when her dad asks my intentions?


1) no, you should try to blend in. wear a decent pair of jeans (no fancy designer ones) and a regular shirt, you'll be fine.

2) no, don't worry about that

3) say that you are hoping that he has a younger, more attractive daughter that is more open minded about sex
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post #6 of 64
8/27/09 at 1:20pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by GQgeek View Post
The correct answer for this is that you're hoping that meeting the family will be the final stepping stone to getting her to perform A2M.
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post #7 of 64
8/27/09 at 1:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by JesseJB View Post
What do I say when her dad asks my intentions?

Out of all the parents I have met, I've never been asked that. Still best to be prepared.
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post #8 of 64
8/27/09 at 1:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by JesseJB View Post

I also have never visited the Midwest, and I'm afraid my raging coast-y snobbishness with show through somehow to her family/friends.

You live in Seattle, not a real city, and in Washington, not a real state. There is no reason for you to be snobby.

Just relax. They have probably made up their mind about the situation already, so if it gets uncomfortable, it may have nothing to do with you at all. Just make the best of it, and, if you continue on with this girl, you will have a long time to build whatever relationship you have with her parents. You don't need to show them you are perfect in one day.
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post #9 of 64
8/27/09 at 1:34pm
Wait. Wut? You live in Seattle in a raging right wing family?

Yes, your snobbishness will show through. You are fucked. FWIW, I found St. Louis to be a mix of blue collar mid-west with almost Southern sensibilities. A snob from a West coast city? My god, you are going to stick out like a sore thumb.
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post #10 of 64
8/27/09 at 1:39pm
Wear a three-piece suit replete with a multi-toned pocket square and carnation boutonnière. Also make sure you have plenty of sprezz going on - leave your monk straps undone or something. Just make sure they don't confuse you with a small timer.
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post #11 of 64
8/27/09 at 1:42pm
You are basically getting married to her family. I would wear a suit, at the very least.
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post #12 of 64
8/27/09 at 1:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by JesseJB View Post
So I'm flying to St Louis in a week to visit my girlfriend's parents and hometown friends. We've been dating for 11 months now. I also have never visited the Midwest, and I'm afraid my raging coast-y snobbishness with show through somehow to her family/friends. My family is extroverted/Protestant/raging right-wingers. (I'm not though) Her family is introverted/Catholic/slight liberals. She also told me NOT to dress up and that they are very casual people. Should I ignore this and dress up somewhat anyways? Does meeting her parents mean I'm basically "married" to her family? What do I say when her dad asks my intentions? I'm bloody terrified.
11 month is nothing! You are still jung? Meeting parent do not make you slave of the wish of this family! Relax before go for visit, yes first impression important, but what to wear is not so important, wear good jean (not baggy like gangster), with polo type of shirt(do not put bottom of shirt in belt of pant, leave hang outside) plus casual shoe such as this http://www.shopadidas.com/product/in...ductId=2549940 , do not be obvious about the thing which make worry in your mind or appear to be so conscious of yourself, do not wear suit. You can be little more formal if you like on next trips for see this family. For this time you must to concentrate for speak correct thing, be natural, and to see if you like this family. If you cannot be compatible with this family this can cause later problem if you stay with this girl. Saint-Louis is not very special city, place with much person who go for game of baseball, many who go for this is drunk, and beer of Saint-Louis is similar of quality to urin! Optional is for you to release spermatozoom before visit for more ability to relax. If the father ask you about intention tell that you would like to make for her the shocker.
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post #13 of 64
8/27/09 at 1:46pm
You really expect her dad to drill you on your intentions?
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post #14 of 64
8/27/09 at 1:48pm
A good answer to the "what are your intentions" question is:

"Well, she seems to have a lot of her own ideas sometimes - so I spend a lot of time keeping up with them. "

I came up with that *after* I was shocked by a father asking me that question and I was unprepared.
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post #15 of 64
8/27/09 at 1:48pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by hws View Post
Optional is for you to release spermatozoom before visit for more ability to relax. If the father ask you about intention tell that you would like to make for her the shocker.

This is excellent advice. Nothing like a little spermatozoom for relaxation.
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