Mentors

It seems like a valuable idea. But every person I've met that had a "mentor" was a huge douchebag. Also, most of them weren't very smart or successful, at least while I knew them.

Of course, informal mentors, or work mentors, are extremely valuable and very much a part of many people's lives, I would suspect.

Never had a formal or informal mentor...I agree it could be valuable. But often people are looking for guidance and don't necessarily end up finding the best sources of it.

I started a mentor relationship two years ago- was introduced to the person through a business colleague. It's been brilliant- he moves in a very different circle than me. We meet over lunch or drinks maybe once a month.

I've also formally mentored a couple of folks.

PM me if you want to discuss more about what you are looking for and I may have a few suggestions for you.

Why has it been brilliant? Can you give us some examples/descriptions?

"Official" mentoring seems pretty lame and weird and forced to me. I have had people I would describe to others as having mentored me to some extent or another, but to actively employ the term to a relationship, or to explicity seek such a relationship out, strikes me as very odd and overly loaded.

Sure, I've had plenty. Both official and not.

When you study science, having an official mentor is required. They don't use the term "mentor" though, they say "research adviser". Some are better than others. I had some pretty good ones that helped me to learn a lot. Others basically enjoy having free labor.

Informally, I sometimes seek out a mentor if there is a process or function or something I'm not familiar with. It is a good way to get up to speed really fast, rather than dicking around and screwing stuff up trying to figure it out on my own.

I have never called them a mentor. I usually say "hey, John knows his shit about xyz, I'll go talk to him". But I guess it falls under mentoring.

The word mentor always conjures up Seinfeld...the one where Kramer gets an intern.

I've never been on either end (no homo) of a formal mentorship. However, I've had someone whom I considered a mentor twice. One was when I was just out of my teens, and he was about 15 years older than me. He was my first role model that wasn't a blue collar union worker. I have actually surpassed him, in professional terms, but I owe him that first glimpse outside of my circle of association from what I was born into. We are still great friends, some 20 years later, and when I return to my home area, always spend part of my visit with his family.

I also had someone, about a decade ago, that launched me on my current particular career trajectory. I did an internship under her, to obtain some professional licensing. We're still great friends (we did happy "hour" with spouses a few weeks ago and doing dinner Sunday) and again, I have surpassed her professionally. But I still use her as a sounding board, etc. The only difference is, she now using me as a sounding board, etc., too.

I took on an intern a few years ago, and found the process extremely enjoyable. I'm assuming he did too, as my bottle of Louis XIII was a gift from him He contacts me about once a quarter, but has moved far away in pursuit of his career.

I've never had a formal mentor, but I've certainly taken advice informally from individuals who I would refer to as mentors. Even today I have a lunch meeting with an alumnus of my fraternity who is in a senior role with one of my company's clients, to get some insight on career directions.

I think young people, young men especially, are really hungry for advice in this day and age. Too often they have no father figure or successful man in their life who they can look up to. Even being in my mid-20s, I try to offer sensible advice whenever it seems appropriate to younger guys, especially guys in my fraternity. I think in most cases they really appreciate it, when it's delivered correctly.

I try not to give too much career advice unless someone already knows what they want and is asking me how to get it.

As someone who has fundamental issues with the US corporate world in general and would avoid it if I had bigger balls or was more creative, I hesitate to recommend to younger folks how to break into it.

FTFY

I always thought a formal mentor is a rather odd practice.

I have been very fortunate to have two mentors in my life. My life has been enriched because of it.

After graduating from college, my father passed away and I began to run a small family business. I was introduced to "Harry" who was the "businessman's businessman". We hit it off and he took me under his wing and offered advice and council when needed. Part of the reason for our relationship was that he filled a void in my life with the death of my father and although he had three successful sons, none of them wanted anything to do with business. So, we would meet, have lunch and strategize about building my little business. He really helped me establish my MO and the foundation of my company and business practices. He also introduced me to several other important advisors. He later became involved in several very different businesses and even hired my brother-in-law. Unfortunately, when it came to his own businesses and money, Harry changed and I saw him exploit my B.I.L. and we drifted apart. I introduced Harry to several friends including a local attorney. The attorney later said that Harry was also the most influential client he ever had and truly changed the way he approached his life and practice for the better. But, as I mentioned, as great as he was, he wasn't perfect. But that in itself was an important lesson about life and about many people, even great ones.

My second mentor "Bob" and I met through a supplier. I was looking for someone to help me take my business to the next level after being flat for a while. I was also beginning to sense that my 16 year marriage was being challenged. So what started as a business relationship became a true friendship when discussions about work blended seamlessly with life, ambitions and goals. Bob was a real mans-man and entrepreneur who had traveled the world, helped start a car company, did mergers and acquisitions, was an Annapolis grad, drove a cool sports card and even at 70 made women swoon with his charm and style (similar to a Shawn Connery). He showed me how to have more fun in my life and was my closest and dearest friend during my divorce. He believed that being positive was it's own reward and that you didn't have to go along with the crowd. (He was telling me to buy gold when it was out of favor and about $300!). He really believed in win-win relationships and making your business relationships "partnerships". We still meet for lunch and exchange investment ideas (we invested in a movie together). Most of all, I appreciated him showing me and encouraging me to display good character in the face of adversity like no one I have ever met. I thanked him one day for all of his help, and he thanked me. He said our relationship had been equally as important to him at that time in his life. Of course, being the class act that he is, he would say that wouldn't he?

I mentored two young men, with surprising results. One was a child of (relative) privilege, and with the looks, smarts and gift of gab that should ensure success in whatever he endeavored. The other was the child of alcoholics and meth addicts; he hadn't any of the legs up the other did. The one who seemed destined for success became a miserable drunk, a drug addict, an inmate and ultimately died before he hit 40. The other is a married father, a dependable wage-earner, and the patriarch of his clan. One never knows...

^^Sounds like a movie. Life is funny like that.

I'd like to be a mentee.