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Relationship advice: that ex - Page 5

post #61 of 111
Originally Posted by LA Guy
Actually, I found that I can't actually change any settings in your account. I didn't want to. It was Matt's idea. Bastard. Ban him, not me.
Would have been funny. I have come to prefer Lord Of The Fleas to His Fleaness though
post #62 of 111
If you happen to be a Tom Leykis listener, you know what he'd say....



post #63 of 111
Before you break it off, try to hook up the threeway.
post #64 of 111
i have a great solution dump her and then post intimate photos of them - the ones she never knew you copied onto your thumb drive - all over the internet. i know this men's site where the guys would be more than happy to view them - purely for their revenge value you understand...
post #65 of 111
Originally Posted by iammatt

You are on a roll. This is possibly better than your first great quote on this thread.

thanks - a month of unemployment leaves me with lots of creative juices and no outlet, I guess
post #66 of 111
Thread Starter 
well since this has been off track for a bit now, she phoned me tonight and i brought up the subject

Conversation lead to an ultimatum
she said if i wanted her to get rid of her friend she will
and that she has no conscious/subconscious feelings for her ex

i am in university and at the moment im about 100 kms away on weekdays and so that friend is all my girlfriend has left when im gone. We have both been out of highschool for more than 2 years and we shed alot of people from our lives

she didnt bring up trust once, i made it very clear that it was not a trust issue and im very satisfied that the converstion did not lead to a screaming match, raising of voices, or even an arguement.

I got everything i had a problem with off of my chest and i feel like a conversation of that magnitude, and that could possibly make or break or relationship was taken in stride, that there is not a thing for me to worry about.

I also feel like things will be dramamtically different when we are living together this summer, and the next couple of years as i am transfering to a university closer to home, and with a more suitable program for me

one thing i did fail to see was that when i am home, it is just me, i had attempted to be friends with the ex and that did not work out and since, she has no forced us to spend time as a threesome

criticism of my update is appreciated
i feel like im going to get alot of frowns but because i wasnt necessarily ready to leave with no explanation, i obviously couldnt take that route
post #67 of 111
good luck. our frowns aren't what is important. I hope that things work out well for you.
post #68 of 111
All I can do is wish you luck. The problematic thing about giving people advice is they invariably know what they are going to do before asking for the advice. You managed to leave out a couple significant points in your story. One....her ex is a woman....Two.....this is a long distance romance. You are up to your ass in alligators on both counts. Let me put it this way. I love coffee, but I can tolerate tea. I don't mean I sort of love coffee....I freakin' LOVE coffee. When coffee isn't available I can drink, and sometime even enjoy, tea. See, both have caffeine, the drug that I crave. I just like the delivery method of coffee much better than tea. I just hope you are the coffee.....and not the tea.
post #69 of 111
Eh, I think you handled it well enough. I'm going to stray heavily from both the pragmatic advice and the suggestions of threesomes. I don't think the gender of the third person really makes a difference in this. Yes, she may stab you in the back. Anyone you trust can. But if you love her and you trust her and she feels the same way as far as you know, that's all there is. [edit] Man, Jay, you make one weird Dr Phil.
post #70 of 111
Actually, I would have to say the gender of the ex matters a lot, since she probably (like most people) wouldn't be as comfortable bringing her home to meet the folks as bringing you home. She may have decided that "the experimenting phase" is over now and she's ready to be serious, "normal", etc. It's hard to say, but I think you are better off against the girl ex than some badass dude ex who gives her nothing but grief (that she finds... strangely... attractive).

Glad your conversation went well and best of luck.
post #71 of 111
Originally Posted by jay allen

I just hope you are the coffee.....and not the tea.
I know it's not your usual bag, but please please make that a tee.
post #72 of 111
I'm curious, is your gf the kind of girl who really, really cares about almost everything?

If yes, then her relationship with her ex makes sense to me, and you really don't have to worry. Why it makes sense was going to involve some stories about how I converted an old gf from liking girls to liking men. She still really cares about me, even though I broke up with her almost 5 years ago, and she's been living with a really nice guy for three odd years now.

If she is not one of those people that cares she might just need to be taken in hand:
post #73 of 111
Update or whatever, it's ultimately doomed. Basically what J said: you are not the first choice. And the one getting shafted will be you; it'll only be a matter of time.

However, I can understand hoping and feeling helpless about such situations. I just hope you can walk away instead of limping away, hurt.
post #74 of 111
Two words: three way.
post #75 of 111
You've obviously made a choice that you're comfortable with at this point. I would simply suggest that you keep your eyes open, and move through this without blinders on. Please realize that the long-distance aspect of this dramatically increases the chances that she's cheating.

In any case, best of luck, and I hope that it works out for you.
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