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stupidity - Page 5

post #61 of 74
8/31/09 at 3:46am
Quote:
Originally Posted by bach View Post

From the same guy, while pulling into a parking lot:
"Wow! The moon looks huge tonight!"
"Uh, Eric, that's a street lamp."
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post #62 of 74
8/31/09 at 3:47am
Quote:
Originally Posted by kimchikowboy View Post
From the same guy, while pulling into a parking lot:
"Wow! The moon looks huge tonight!"
"Uh, Eric, that's a street lamp."

paBO!
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post #63 of 74
8/31/09 at 3:50am
Quote:
Originally Posted by hossoso View Post
paBO!

if that was supposed to be korean, i think it's more like babo.

i remember one time in the spring there was a beautiful row of cherry blossom trees that were really blooming and i commented to my friend "wow. look cherry blossoms." and he goes "I don't see any cherries."
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post #64 of 74
8/31/09 at 3:54am
Quote:
Originally Posted by kimchikowboy View Post
From the same guy, while pulling into a parking lot:
"Wow! The moon looks huge tonight!"
"Uh, Eric, that's a street lamp."

Actually one of my favorites:
Eric is sitting on the couch playing with a stethoscope. He has it in his ears, with the listening part in his mouth. I throw a bottlecap at him as hard as I can. He shouts, "Mother..." then, before he can continue questioning my familial relationships, he falls off the couch, his hands over his ears, rolling in pain from the damage to his eardrums. Aaah, sometimes I miss college.
Last time I saw him he was working as a bartender in a biker bar in Tennessee, apparently tweaking his ass off. I hope, wherever he is, he has smartened up and cleaned up.
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post #65 of 74
8/31/09 at 3:56am
Quote:
Originally Posted by indesertum View Post
if that was supposed to be korean, i think it's more like babo.

That's not how we say it in Suncheon-shi, buddy. Chulla-what?

I'm joking but your transliteration is useless.

Q: Do you say Pusan or Busan?
A: Both.
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post #66 of 74
9/12/09 at 10:48am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Piobaire View Post
I had a consultant in Friday to audit certain things for me. I assigned her a conference room and then I walked into the office of my F&B director, which he shares with his executive chef, and asked them to send a runner to that conference room with a coffee service for one. I also said, "Send her muffins and snacks and such." Apparently both the guys heard, "Send her muffins and sex and such."
This really happens with snacks. I wanted to take my father to a bar in NYC, Death and Co, on the Sunday before Labor Day. Well, by and by they're closed. So we wind up at another well-regarded but not that good (IMNSHO) bar on the Westside. It's empty. The waitress is a 6'2" lanky brunette with a funny accent I can't place. She takes our drink order and comes back with a tray, bending waaaaaaay down to the extra low tables. She says, "would you like some sex?" I say, "why, yes please" and she puts a bowl of nuts down on the table. After she leaves, my father says "I'm glad you heard what she was saying -- I thought she said "would you like some sex?" I said, "that's what I heard!' ~ H
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post #67 of 74
9/12/09 at 11:57pm
I knew better but I did this anyway. I've been on a wasp-killing rampage after finding a big nest under the branches of one of our palm trees. So I killed off one nest and watched the stragglers patrol the nest for an hour or so. this was last week.

Today I'm trimming another palm, and find another nest. Instead of spraying it where it was and waiting, I go ahead and pull it to the ground and then spray it. then I go up onto the roof where the nest was and start trimming more branches. The wasps return, and I'm on the roof, so I retreat. and wait. and wait. and wait. My ladder is right at the palm branch I cut down so there are wasps all around the ladder. so I wait.

I try to slide off the roof, but I turn chicken and claw my way back up.

Eventually a neighbor walks by and I get him to set up the spare ladder and make my way bacak down. Really, what was I thinking?
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post #68 of 74
9/13/09 at 12:10am
That sounds like it would have been hilarious to watch.
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post #69 of 74
9/13/09 at 11:39am
Thread Starter 
...pocket calling your house for an hour from the most debaucherous bachelor party ever.
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post #70 of 74
9/13/09 at 3:27pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by thekunk07 View Post
...pocket calling your house for an hour from the most debaucherous bachelor party ever.

http://www.styleforum.net/showthread.php?t=138553 ?
lmao
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post #71 of 74
9/13/09 at 3:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas View Post
I knew better but I did this anyway. I've been on a wasp-killing rampage after finding a big nest under the branches of one of our palm trees. So I killed off one nest and watched the stragglers patrol the nest for an hour or so. this was last week.

Today I'm trimming another palm, and find another nest. Instead of spraying it where it was and waiting, I go ahead and pull it to the ground and then spray it. then I go up onto the roof where the nest was and start trimming more branches. The wasps return, and I'm on the roof, so I retreat. and wait. and wait. and wait. My ladder is right at the palm branch I cut down so there are wasps all around the ladder. so I wait.

I try to slide off the roof, but I turn chicken and claw my way back up.

Eventually a neighbor walks by and I get him to set up the spare ladder and make my way bacak down. Really, what was I thinking?


I wish I could have seen that.

K
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post #72 of 74
9/13/09 at 4:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas View Post
I knew better but I did this anyway. I've been on a wasp-killing rampage after finding a big nest under the branches of one of our palm trees. So I killed off one nest and watched the stragglers patrol the nest for an hour or so. this was last week.

Today I'm trimming another palm, and find another nest. Instead of spraying it where it was and waiting, I go ahead and pull it to the ground and then spray it. then I go up onto the roof where the nest was and start trimming more branches. The wasps return, and I'm on the roof, so I retreat. and wait. and wait. and wait. My ladder is right at the palm branch I cut down so there are wasps all around the ladder. so I wait.

I try to slide off the roof, but I turn chicken and claw my way back up.

Eventually a neighbor walks by and I get him to set up the spare ladder and make my way bacak down. Really, what was I thinking?

When I was a teenager, there was a day with some really horrible wind. My neighbors were on vacation.

I went outside my house for some reason, and I hear "help help help" really really faintly. So faint, I thought maybe it was just a weird wind noise or something. I turn to go back into my house and hear "help help help" again really faintly. I go in the house, get my mom and say "hey, check this out, the wind is making noises that sound like help"

She comes out, looks at the neighbors' house, and sees someone on their roof waving his shirt at us and yelling "help help help". Because of the wind it was hard to hear him.

Turns out the neighbors' son came to repaint their house while they were on vacation and the wind blew his ladder over.
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post #73 of 74
9/13/09 at 4:36pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by kwilkinson View Post
That sounds like it would have been hilarious to watch.

Quote:
Originally Posted by VKK3450 View Post
I wish I could have seen that.

K

Oh, it was quite dumb, and I cursed myself the whole time I was up there. That was a lot of cursing. I told R the story last night and today she had me re-tell it to her folks over lunch after I ripped out the Bougainvillas from the back flower garden.

then, after lunch today, I went to trim some of the tall stalk-y plants outside our bedroom window. These plants are in a small space just outside the inner patio fence (the gate sticks so I just leave it shut, and a three-step stair up to a raised deck which is cluttered with deck lounges and the other detritus of homeownership. As I trim the stalk-y plants, I have to stand on the stairs between the plants and these other weird plants that border the pool.

So I make a few passes to bring them down to my height, and what comes flying out of the f*cking stalks? Hornets. Dozens of hornets. My brain screams retreat, but the gate to my right is stuck shut, can't go forward into the stalks, can't go backwards into the bushes, I drop the trimmers, climb the stairs and try to step on one of the lounges that are together but my foot sinks through the straps, and so I cross over it and gingerly pick my foot out as the hornets are swarming. Jumped off the patio and joined my chuckling wife and in-laws.

first I have to deal with the fucking fanged bougainvillas and now hornets.
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post #74 of 74
9/13/09 at 7:23pm
^What's next, killer bees? Jesus
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