I always thought the wealthy parents of a friend of mine did it right. They told all 3 sons that there would be no extravagances while they were teens - no fancy cars, huge parties, etc.; they'd essentially get to live in a big house and not worry about being fed or clothed, but that's it. But when they went to college, as long as they stayed in school, the parents would write checks for whatever they felt they needed, no complaints, until they graduated.
They originally thought it was a bum deal, but by college a lot of parents were sick of their brats and tightening the purse strings, especially since most of them weren't doing well in school; the three of them left school with advanced degrees, debt free, and nowhere near as spoiled as their friends.
For contrast, we often laugh about a buddy of his we heard screaming at his parents on the phone one day - they'd gotten him a car for his birthday, and he'd wanted a boat. Last time I saw this guy, your typical North Shore brat, he was explaining to me how he was going to make millions running guns in South America and didn't need college.
