Is a relationship doomed after "moving out"?

The live-in GF of 6 months has decided it's best if she gives me some space and moves out of the apartment, so we can both have independent social lives. In my experience, that's pretty much a death sentence to the relationship- I don't know when we'd see each other except maybe 30 minutes at lunch if we didn't live together. Thoughts?

P.S. and obviously, if there's hardly any sex after moving out, then I just might as well break up with her.

you seem to make these thread every 6 months or so.

yes, sounds like it's over, and I think you know that.

She's perfect except we don't seem to ever have any long deep conversations, that was kind of the issue. My mind is always going, and inside her mind, I think there's just like a song that goes "meow meow meow meow meow meow" while she clogs up my drain with rice or something.

so she's perfect except you don't connect on an intellectual level?

that is a pretty big deal.

she is moving out for a reason and it isn't so you can have 'independent social lives'

Sorry bud, it's over. Take it in stride and move on. Connecting on an intellectual level is one very important factor in relationships, and it seems like it just isn't happening here. You're on different wavelengths so to speak. Don't take it as an offense. You would have been unhappier in the long run if she stayed with you. Don't worry though, there are plenty of fine women in the world who are likely to connect with you. Once you find the type that does, it's just a matter of picking and choosing

Originally Posted by Eason

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The live-in GF of 6 months has decided it's best if she gives me some space and moves out of the apartment, so we can both have independent social lives. In my experience, that's pretty much a death sentence to the relationship- I don't know when we'd see each other except maybe 30 minutes at lunch if we didn't live together. Thoughts?

P.S. and obviously, if there's hardly any sex after moving out, then I just might as well break up with her.

Sounds like the kiss of death. Usually when they say that that they need "time","space", or "independence", what they really want to say is that they are seeing someone without sounding floozy and not wanting to hurt you. For your sake, I hope that I'm wrong though. Good luck.

Most relationships end with a series of small steps to breakup. Like a car running out of gas, the inertia sometimes propels you forward a few meters, but soon the movement stops.

"Need some space" basically means "Need some space to ******** with other people"

Good luck. Be strong.

Well the person kind of seeing somebody is me, but it's just a close friend- a friend who I can communicate on the same level with. She's saying I need time and space, but my thinking was that as long as I have *somebody* to connect with emotionally, it's okay- your S/O can't replace every friend in your life, naturally.

Originally Posted by Eason

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Well the person kind of seeing somebody is me, but it's just a close friend- a friend who I can communicate on the same level with. She's saying I need time and space, but my thinking was that as long as I have *somebody* to connect with emotionally, it's okay- your S/O can't replace every friend in your life, naturally.

This relationship is dead, dead, dead. Time for a 21 guns salute.

Originally Posted by Eason

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Well the person kind of seeing somebody is me, but it's just a close friend- a friend who I can communicate on the same level with. She's saying I need time and space, but my thinking was that as long as I have *somebody* to connect with emotionally, it's okay- your S/O can't replace every friend in your life, naturally.

Then why are you not with this "close friend" of yours instead of this girl who's moving out? A lot of times, girls who are close friends are such because it didn't work out catching your eye in a different way.

Good question. She has a BF of 6 years, but has hinted at dumping him for me. But do I want a girl who will stay with me for 6 years and dump me for somebody better?

edit: if there's anything I've learned, it's that I should probably wait before heading into anything else. I can't remember the last time I was single, and I've always dumped the previous girl for a decidedly better one. I think I should be single and date for a while.

Or maybe try guys for a bit, but all the guys in China are gross.

Originally Posted by Eason

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Good question. She has a BF of 6 years, but has hinted at dumping him for me. But do I want a girl who will stay with me for 6 years and dump me for somebody better? edit: if there's anything I've learned, it's that I should probably wait before heading into anything else. I can't remember the last time I was single, and I've always dumped the previous girl for a decidedly better one. I think I should be single and date for a while. Or maybe try guys for a bit, but all the guys in China are gross.
Definitely know what you're getting into before you jump into another sack. As for that first bit about the 6-year bf, I'd honestly not even put it into the equation: it's a different dude, a different period of her life, etc. FWIW, I dated a girl who I befriended while she was with a bf of 2 years at the time. After a year of knowing her she told me she was basically jumping ship because she needed a change and she cared about me. Not once during our relationship did I think she would do the same to me, nor did she. While we see each other now off/on (it's been over five years) she's still the best person I've ever connected with emotionally; I've dated a load of girls during that time but I'd still say that she's been closest to a girlfriend than any of the skanks I was with. I guess it depends if you're looking at your friend as another **** buddy roommate or something genuinely serious.

I think you should just remain single for a while and even refrain from dating for a while to get yourself set straight. After a few months, get back into the dating scene and see where things go.

1. You are making a few too many allusions to trying guys lately. Like, we all joke about it here n there, but there is kind of a point at which you either are gonna have to be out with it, or give it some serious thought and make a call one way or another...or give up on the jokes...even I've noticed now, and I hardly ever pay attention to you 2. Yup, it's a death sentence to the relationship as a general rule...but.... 3. You are in Asia. It depends on what you want. I know a lot of boys who married chicks that they have never had a decent conversation with. ****, I know a guy here who has been living with his gf for eight years and is barely able to have a phone conversation to work out where they will be having dinner that night. Eight years...... Personally, that's not for me...but I can generally see the upside to it, cos those boys typically have the hottest wife in the room...goal achieved, and the girls tend to be pretty low maintenance...so whatever, good for you man. Those boys are often previously divorced and appreciate the value of low maintenance arm candy. I talked about this a lot with my most recent ex. She was American Vietnamese, and I think, in all honesty, I am sworn of local chicks after being with her. With the local girls, you pretty much always hit a wall - either linguistic or socio-cultural or both - of what they are willing to disclose. Even the ex-before-that for me, who was recently voted by my friends as the greatest Vietnamese girlfriend of all time - had this line that she wouldn't cross in terms of disclosure. Family things, personal things, she just wouldn't give it up. You either accept that with her, or you move on. I moved on for an assortment of reasons, that being one of them. She, of course, maintains that I was too open and never knew why I thought she was interested in knowing about my upbringing...it's the same complaint in reverse. I am no expert on Chinese chicks, but it may be worth some pondering....in fact...may be a good time for you to be single...points 1 and 3 both seem worthy of some thought.

What if we manage to finagle a non-moving out situation? Bah, don't know what to do at this point. The issue is still there, likely.