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Random fashion thoughts - Page 6040  

post #90586 of 109053
Here are the only three things we need to know about this chick:
1. She thinks it's ok to break up a serious relationship via email.
2. She feels less of an emotional connection to noctone than she does to her cat.
3. She previously freaked out and broke off an engagement.

She is seriously a hot mess. As shitty as it sounds, you dodged a bullet with this one.
post #90587 of 109053
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teger View Post

noctone: sounds like she got scared off and isn't ready to settle down. her switch probably flipped the same time yours did, abut it frightened so she had to bail out. tough. you'll probably hear from her again in a few weeks or months.

This is a smart reading





And yea, my last gf took my W+H cardi and refused to give it back because it "looked better on her" lol smh
post #90588 of 109053
Yikes
post #90589 of 109053
zam took the red pill
post #90590 of 109053
Quote:
Originally Posted by Benesyed View Post

Not sure what about zams statement is upsetting. Is it the factual accuracy, the ideological implication, the breath of applicability or the actual pragmatic consequences of such a thought?

Overall I think its ok to make descriptive statements about groups in general sense I think most of us are conditioned to have a gut reaction to this

 

What's offensive is the selective application of truth. True: women have grown more entitled over time. Also true: so have men. If you've ever worked retail, you've seen this when people demand that you lower prices, while also wanting more free goodies and better materials. If you've ever been to college you'll see it in people demanding shortcuts to better grades/ better jobs. And there's no gender differentiation. So it's not that Zam's wrong about women, but applying the logic ONLY to women and ignoring the fact that men are also entitled assholes (and by leaving out the same fault in men implying that men are long-suffering and free of this fault) is sexist and offensive. 

post #90591 of 109053
FW sales are ending, and SS is upon us. Time to go dormant for six months.
post #90592 of 109053
I'm spoilering this because it's a little bit long, but I'm posting it because I think Zam's post about "feminism" is extremely damaging to real people who actually do incredibly great work and I'm not comfortable letting that slide.
Feminism (Click to show)
Zam sounds like the sort of person who has never read any feminist texts yet nonetheless conflates a very, very particular strain of feminism (or even pseudo-feminism) for the entire extremely diverse movement as a whole. What literature is he referring to when he says "feminism has eroded the loyalty of many women?" What literature has told anyone that the feminist movement means for women to disregard wholesale the concept of "commitment?" What feminist literature has made women into "narcissistic egomaniacs who cannot know or appreciate a good man when she sees one?"

Here's a hint: "feminism" means a whole lot of different things. Zam, maybe you read some Valerie Solanas a while ago and got scared or something. Whatever. No one has taken the SCUM Manifesto seriously in academia or in the "real world" for twenty years, except for the occasional attempt to re-mold a provocative thesis into an ethical stance. Maybe you read (or, more likely, read of) Sheryl Sandberg's "Lean In." This is called "neoliberal feminism"; or in other terms, "lazy corporate pseudo-feminist bullshit." I hope you don't think those are the feminist movement's only offerings.

There's a large field of feminist thought out there, and it's a lazy and uncharitable move to just slander it all by making it responsible for two or a few crummy examples. Here's one example of someone who identifies as a feminist: bell hooks. Though she's not my preferred writer on feminism, here's a line from her I'd like to use to make a point: "Simply put, feminism is a movement to end sexism, sexist exploitation, and oppression." Just so we're clear, this is just one writer's definition of the term. It is, I hope you'll agree, a perfectly benign political statement—what could be wrong with wanting people to stop exploiting other people? You might respond, "well, there are infinite ways to make those words material." In other words, some people might interpret it unfairly. There are self-described feminists who think sex between a man and a woman is inherently anti-woman. There are self-described feminists who think pornography is inherently anti-woman. And there are self-described feminists who actually think we should just get rid of all men (and trans men too).

The thing is, anyone can just call themselves a feminist. Unfortunately some people have simply heard the word "feminism" and choose to wield that phrase—dissociated from even the slightest understanding or familiarity with primary "feminist" texts or feminist discourse—in order to excuse their desire to "get even" and misguidedly reverse the roles of the oppressor and the oppressed (categories which they think are stable and whose boundaries are crisply delimited). There are many very immature people in the world that think feminism is a word that means "getting what you want." The misunderstanding of how gender inequity functions is widespread. There is admittedly a lot of very shoddily written feminist literature, just like there's a lot of shoddily written psychology texts, and earth science texts, and political science texts. And, of course, there is always a handful of people with a sophisticated knowledge of feminism who nonetheless treat others poorly for a variety of reasons (which you may actually find understandable if you choose to engage that person with empathy and a non-judgmental attitude).

Today, many of the people who actually take feminism seriously understand it as an ethic that must carry with it a thorough understanding of how the differences of race, class, nationality, religion, sexuality, and so on will impact an individual's life experience. Since the 60s, it has made a widespread and concerted effort to extend its critique of patriarchy beyond the limited perspective of the materially wealthy white woman. Many men—like yourself I am guessing—worry that the different feminist movements have ultimately hurt men (and perhaps have hurt men without actually correcting gender inequity). I and many other people take this worry seriously. Rigorous feminist discourse works to interpret a line like the bell hooks quote above into a practical manifestation of feminist action that respects the integrity of all people, regardless of their expressed gender identity.

And you know what? I've seen this in action. The self-described feminists I know have done incredible things: groups of women and men and trans folk and intersex folk and other genderqueer people advocating on the behalf of survivors of sexual assault (regardless of their gender) in ER rooms and in police interviews and in court because historically speaking these larger institutions do not actually help those people out; student groups speaking out loudly on campus about the need for young people to understand the importance of informed and continuously assured consent when engaging in sexual activity; organizing to protest policies that limit a woman's right to access safe birth control without embarrassment or shaming; encouraging school districts to teach frankly about safe sex without stigmatizing the sex itself or the mere existence of genitalia; and working to assure rights and dignity for other marginalized communities (where men exist too) such as immigrants, ethnic and racial minorities, senior communities, the homeless (and especially homeless youth), neighborhoods in danger of gentrification, the queer community, and so many more.

I don't know what personal experiences you've had with "feminism," but when you put it as vaguely and as narrowly as you have, it sounds like you're just blaming some lame vague social ills on a concept you know very little about. It's an uncharitable and extremely lazy way to characterize a tremendously diverse historical movement that has accomplished as much as it has.
post #90593 of 109053
I would like to talk about credit cards and financial advice now. shog[1].gif
post #90594 of 109053
Quote:
Originally Posted by zissou View Post

FW sales are ending, and SS is upon us. Time to go dormant for six months.

I need to find some shorts I like, which I haven't be able to the last couple many years, besides a pair of EG polkadot and rogue territories, which didn't fit my big ass thighs.
post #90595 of 109053

I can't agree with much of what @Zamb said, but I do agree that a lot of people have unrealistic expectations of what relationships ought to be, men and women alike.  I am not sure that it has so much to do with feminism, as it has to do with de-emphasis on duty and responsibility and an over-emphasis on emotions.  I feel that if you are guided by emotions, you will be completely adrift.  You are responsible for your relationships, and on the way you feel.  Some feelings have to be nurtured, and others cast aside.  "Let your heart be your guide" is one of the most misused pieces of advice.  It's original intention was to guide decisions when a person is at a crossroads.  It's a terrible way to actually live your life.  

 

That said, this woman seems to have a really hard time knowing when decisions should be deferred.

 

On fashion note, my USPS guy didn't even bother checking if anyone was home yesterday before leaving a note.  I think that I have to have my door open, welcoming him with open arms and cookies, for him to actually deliver my packages.  Maybe the lady at the post office just told him that she really likes to see me.

post #90596 of 109053
Quote:
Originally Posted by LA Guy View Post

On fashion note, my USPS guy didn't even bother checking if anyone was home yesterday before leaving a note.  I think that I have to have my door open, welcoming him with open arms and cookies, for him to actually deliver my packages.  Maybe the lady at the post office just told him that she really likes to see me.

A friend of mine got the mail man fired for that, he lived in a two bedroom and was home when he heard the note come through the letter box, when he came to the door, the guy was gone.

He then went to the postoffice and complained, which some other people on the same route also did, which got him fired.
post #90597 of 109053
this thread took a weird turn.
post #90598 of 109053
Quote:
Originally Posted by lesamourai View Post

this is why i only date pillows now

post #90599 of 109053
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuuma View Post


 

oh sup

post #90600 of 109053
Quote:
Originally Posted by Find Finn View Post

I need to find some shorts I like, which I haven't be able to the last couple many years, besides a pair of EG polkadot and rogue territories, which didn't fit my big ass thighs.
I have a few pairs of shorts I like, but I still mostly wear jeans. Other than that, it's just tees (of which I have plenty) or linen shirts, and Chucks or wingtips. Pretty easy.


For some reason, I really want this canvas coat, and to wear it as a chore coat on the farm, and make a big mess of it.
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